The Forever Queen
by LadyInfam0us
Summary: (AU) Clarissa Morgenstern is the princess to the Morgenstern legacy. All she ever wanted to do, was love who she wanted to love. She meets Jace, and her whole world changes. What happens when she falls in love with someone below her station? What happens when her father retaliates. What happens when the throne room runs red? (Rated M for adult situations, rape, incest, and lemons.)
1. Chapter 1

I, Clarissa Morgenstern was a princess. You'd think i would have been happy. That i was one of the luckiest girls in all the kingdom. But you'd be wrong. I was miserable.

Why be a princess when you couldnt do anything you wanted too? My father made all the decisions for me. I wasnt allowed to play in the stables. I wasnt allowed to get dirt on my dress. I wasnt allowed to talk to those beneath my station in a friendly way. I wasnt allowed to do anything!

My father ruled the realm, as his father did before him. The Morgensterns had been around for a very long time. My mother had died giving birth to me. My father never truly forgave me for that. Jocelyn was the love of his life. His first wife was beheaded once Valentine had set his eyes on my mother. My father was a cruel man.

We were the only kingdom for thousands of miles. Our realm existed on a stretch of land bordering the sea. All who had went up against my father, had perished. My father ruled the land with a harsh hand. Punishment was severe in the castle. Everyone was scared to even breathe. He had spies everywhere.

I was Clarissa Morgenstern, daughter of the mighty Morgenstern legacy. My brother Jonathan was the heir before me. I was a pretty ornament for the court, that was all. I was instructed from an early age in all the proper ways of a lady. My brother got the better end of the stick.

He studied all the arts, as well as the physical. He was to be the heir to the castle. He needed to know how to fight. He needed to know how to kill. Meanwhile i, as the little princess, was instructed on how to be docile and pleasant. It was unfair!

I dreamed of bigger things. I dreamed of ruling the Morgenstern kingdom. I dreamt of ruling with a nicer hand. I dreamed alot for a girl in high standing. Because even though i had all the jewels in the world, i had no freedom. Even though i was beautiful and had the options of high birth, i was a slave in this castle.

I was a slave, plain and simple. I had no rights. I had no freedom. I did what my father ordered me to do. I followed his line as straight as i could manage. My father would have it no less. I was trapped in my own tower without a way down.

My father was preparing a feast in my honor. All suitable matchs within the realm were to be present. My father was trying to find me a good husband. My father was finding me a good match for his kingdom. All the prince's of far off realms were to come for my hand. I was not in the least excited. These were men my father picked out. I would have no choice in the matter.

I would not have love at first sight. I would not be able to love at will. I would not be able to have a husband who loved me and i him. That was not the way of princess's. We didnt marry for love, we married for duty. How i hated that more than anything.

I would see jealousy in the eyes of the maids. Oh how they looked at me with spite in their eyes. They wanted to be me. How i longed to tell them that i'd trade places with them at any moment. I hated being who i was. No one treated me like the person i was. People were scared to talk to me for fear of my father.

I had no voice. I had no will of my own. What kind of life was this? What was life if we werent allowed to make our own choices?

I was sitting at my vanity brushing my long red hair. It was the most prized thing about me. My hair reminded my father of my mother. She had the same hair as i did. I brushed it slowly with my metal ornate brush. I stared at my reflection. My cheeks were a dull color. I pinched them with my fingers to add some color.

I stood from my vanity and smoothed my skirts. I was ready to meet my father. The father i so despised. I walked out of my bedroom to the hallway. I made my way through the castle as quickly as i could. My father didnt like waiting.

When i made it to the throne room, i took a deep breath to calm my nerves. My father demanded nothing but politeness to him in his presence. I didnt want to get into trouble this early in the day. I nodded to the servant to open the big gilded doors. He did so without hesitation. I stepped into the room.

My father was seated in the throne at the end of the hall. My brother was at his side speaking to him. I didnt like my brother either. He had a mean streak just like my father. Was i the only nice one in the family? I walked forward and curtsied before my father. He didnt stop talking, he acted like i wasnt even there.

It sucked being a woman in this day and age. Woman were viewed as worthless arm jewels and nothing more. The prettier the jewel, the more value, but still useless in its properties. I hated a man who thought he was better than woman. I waited patiently.

My brother was talking to my father about some scout reports that had come back the other day. I tried to act uninterested.

"There coming by the thousands father, all to come speak to you. The Garroways are the least impressive to be sure, but still! This is good news. Everything is going to plan."

My father nodded and finally rested his eyes on my face. He loved to see my hair flowing and free. That is why i had spent so much time brushing it. He cleared his throat to speak.

"Clary, how nice of you to join us. We were just talking over a few last minute things before tomorrows feast. There will be many suitors that come for you hand. I expect you to be a courteous lady, i am sure." He declared looking at me from his throne.

"Father, i wanted to speak to you about that. I dont think im ready to marry." i hesitantly said.

"Not ready? Nonsense! Your perfect for marriage. Your breasts are full and you've had your blood. You are the perfect symbol of a virgin bride." my father spat. I had angered him, but i had to speak.

"I want to pick my own husband father, out of love."

"Love? You know nothing about love child! I loved your mother and look what happened to her. You will marry who i find suitable, or you can marry your brother. Either way, you will be married."

I hated that custom. If other suitors proved unwanted, then marriage of the siblings was the correct next step. Furthering the bloodline if you couldnt further your line through an allegiance with another realm. I shuddered to think of marrying Jonathan. I wanted my own husband! Not my fathers match, or my brother. I wanted someone to love.

But i knew i was beaten. I would do as my father wished, and i would do it with a smile on my face. I had never realized how much i hated him as i did just now. He wouldnt listen to a word i said. He never would. I was broken inside.

I asked for departure and i was granted it. Jonathan smiled at me from beside my fathers throne. I could have spit in his face. He would like to get his hands on me the filthy animal. But he wouldnt if i could help it!

I had no choice. I would have to go to the feast in my honor and i would have to accept the husband my father promised for me. I would have to smile the entire time and act pleased. I would have to do my duties as a wife and let some man have me.

But what my father forgot, is that the Morgenstern woman were fierce. We were as fierce and as crafty as the men. He forgot to remember that i would defy him even to my very death. My father didnt own me, and before long he would know that. He would know that the blood that ran in my veins was cold. Cold as the ice that was in my heart. I was the Morgenstern Princess, i was the Forever Queen.


	2. Chapter 2

I went back to my chambers in a sullen manner. I didnt like being told what to do! Why is it that the peasants of the village looked to the castle with greed? This castle was nothing but a prison. It was built of the web of lies and murder that my father had condoned. Anyone could see that things werent as glamorous as they thought, if they would just open their eyes! Many countries envied us of our power and nobility. All i felt was shame.

I had watched countless executions at the hand of the king. He had no pity and not a scrap of mercy. He sent prisoners to the dungeon to rot, he cut the hands off of thieves, he encouraged the acts of tortue. My father was a monster.

Yet all the low born in the land looked to him for protection. Though they couldnt even protect the ones inside the castle walls. It was utterly incomprehensible. The people who voiced their opinions, were silenced. Nobody was safe here in Shadow Moore.

Shadow Moore had the most gruesome of histories. Morgensterns had ruled the castle for centuries. Blood ran deep in this soil. I hated the sight of it. It was impressive due to its size and capacity, but it was a castle washed in red. Kings were supposed to protect their people. They were supposed to do whats right! It sickened me to think of all the lives lost at the hand of my father.

I started to take off the many layers of clothing i wore. I hated the petticoat and the corset i was deemed to wear. In the heat of summer, it was almost unbearable. I wondered who had the great idea to make woman wear three garments over each other. They must not have been female.

I was down to my corset and slip when a knock came at my door. I hurriedly grabbed the blanket off my bed and tried to cover myself. The knocker walked right in. It was my brother.

I was embarrassed by the sudden entrance. I was indecent. He should have announced his presence and intentions before walking in. But my brother didnt listen to rules he didnt care anything about. I tried to keep most of my skin covered, but i knew i failed miserably.

My brother gave me a long hard stare. His eyes moving up and down my body. I tried once more to cover everything up. He made my flesh crawl.

"What is my little Clary up too? Naked before the nights over?" he said, his eyes glinting.

I knew enough of men to know that i was in trouble.

"I was just undressing and putting something more comfortable on. It gets so hot in those dresses."

I had said the wrong thing.

"Well by all means, dont let me stop you." he said sitting down in the armchair by the door. I had no choice but to comply.

I let the blanket drop from my body. It slithered to the floor, i let it lay there. I felt his eyes gaping at my form. My breasts werent as big as some womans, but they were full enough. The corset only managed to make them seem bigger. His eyes hungrily looked over me. I dreaded to think what his thoughts were. His eyes i could feel crawling over every inch of me. I was helpless to stop him.

I unclasped all the buttons in the back of the corset. Then i shimmied out of my slip. I was as naked as my name day. I let the articles of clothing fall to the floor. I averted my eyes from my brothers gaze. I didnt want to look into those eyes and see the monster underneath. I didnt want to see his body reacting to my nakedness. I didnt want him to be there at all.

I walked to my chest and opened it. I took out a simple garment of light wool. I started to put it on when i felt his arms encircle around me. I turned around to see his hungry eyes staring into mine. His eyes burned with an unseen fever. I knew that whatever he did, i wouldnt be able to fight him.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to my neck. I tried to push him away.

"Stop Jonathan, what would my husband say if he found out i was not a virgin anymore." i pleaded, his lips still at my throat.

"You could always dump pigs blood on the bed after your consumation little sister." His kisses were trailing farther down.

"I wont do that, and when he sees that i'm not pure and is angry, and goes to our father. I shall tell him why!" i screamed doing my best to push him away.

He retracted back a few steps and stared at me with malice. My brother was used to getting the things he wants. He was not used to be denied.

"What happens if im your husband Clary? What happens if no other suitor wants you? Than what will you do? Because my wife," he hissed," will give me what i want. If i have to take it by force, i will. My wife will do her duty whenever i so please. You had best remember that!"

He left the room, slamming the door behind him. I slumped to the hard cold chamber floor. I tried to remember a time when Jonathan and me had been close. It was when we were little. My brother liked to play games out in the courtyard. He always asked me to play with him. That was before my father split us up. That was before my father made him to be what he was today. My father had ruined Jonathan straight down to his soul.

I got to my feet and looked in the mirror. My face was red and tears threatened to brim over my eyes. I hated being so powerless! I hated not having a choice. Tomorrow i would be paraded around all those eager men who wanted a piece of the Morgenstern Legacy. I shuddered to even think of that for even a second.

I didnt want a man who i didnt know anything about. I wanted to love and be free. I wanted to spread my wings and ride off into the sunset. Instead the only horizon i ever saw was the one through my stone window.

I didnt have much choice. I had to do what i had to do. But that didnt mean that i had to lose myself in the process. I clipped my hair to the back of my head. I at least looked decent now. I calmed my racing heart with deep breathes. When i felt a little better i decided to get some fresh air. I exited my room and headed towards the grounds.

I liked to walk along the pleasure gardens. They were always so peaceful. Flowers begged to be collected. Birds chirped their merry little songs. In the gardens i could feel at peace. I could feel as if things werent as dark and evil as they were. Here in the gardens, i had a choice.

I sat down beside my favorite rose bush and checked the stems. This was my favorite kind of flower in the whole realm. I liked how beautiful it was, and how prickly painful it could be. I liked to think that someday i would be like such. I would be the fairest in the land, but i would also be strong. I would stand up for myself and defend what was mine.

I picked a rose and crumbled it into my hands. Except that tomorrow that dream would fade away. If i married some prince from a far off land, i would be leaving Shadow Moore. I would be left to my husbands devices. He could beat me and take a concubine. He could be an even worse man than my father! He could do whatever he pleased with me, and i had no choice in the matter. It was unfair.

I left the garden downcast and sullen. Tomorrow would be the end of my life. I would have to follow some man, and do as he bid. I would lose myself almost entirely. I didnt understand why it had to be like this. I didnt understand why men couldnt stand beside their woman. I didnt understand the ways of the world. Things just didnt make much sense.

Tomorrow was the feast. My life would soon be coming to an end.

I headed back to my room. I hadnt even bothered with dinner. My father would notice my absence but probably chalk it off to nerves before the feast. Let him think that. I was not excited over the prospect of being sold like a piece of meat! I slammed my wooden door closed and begin to sob.

I didnt want to be the Morgenstern princess. I wanted to have a place where i belonged. A place where i was heard and understood. A place where i could love with all of my heart. There was no such place here in Shadow Moore.

There was only death.

* * *

 **Authors note: Due to the sensitivity of this story i have resolved to only update if there are people that want to hear the rest. I have wrote this in the manner for adult audiences and i have rated accordingly. If you get offended by any of these terms, rape, incest, murder, cruelty, then i advise not reading any further.**

 **If i get enough reviews and or followers, i shall continue with it. I have other stories i work on from time to time that i spend alot of time on. I had this idea pop in my head and i decided to give it a try. It will be dark, cruel, and there will be violence. There will be countless other things as well.**

 **If you like it, review and or follow it and if i feel that its worth continuing i shall do so.**

 **Thanks for your time!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors note: Thanks for your support. Here you go, as promised.**

* * *

The next day was a flurry of activity. Servants ran to and fro making sure the castle was to my fathers demand. The butchers had all brought in their meat hours earlier. The baker had been baking since early morning. All was being prepared for the celebration. Even me.

My maidservants had forced me into a deep emerald dress with diamonds sowed into the fabric. It was a pretty dress. But the corset had to come on first and that was just torture. The corset was made super slim. It was tight around my already small frame. The maidservants had to all pull to get the strings tied. It was a nightmare.

When the dress was finally on it was time for my hair. The two woman pulled and twisted my hair into an elegant up-do. It was clipped at the top and was free flowing at the bottom. Then they puffed rouge onto my cheeks and added some pink powder to my lips. When i looked into the mirror, i almost didnt recognize myself.

I looked like a princess. I usually ran around the castle in just a simple dress. My hair always billowed behind me. I never have looked this put together. The pink powder had made my lips a different shade. I didnt know who i was.

When they were finally done they stepped back to admire their work.

"Shes a beautiful one."

"Yes, she shall make one suitor very lucky."

"Her father will be pleased."

I let them ramble on. I paid no attention to the maidservants. They were all under my fathers rule. I couldnt trust them. They acted pleasant enough but could tell on me at any moment. I always kept my mouth closed in such company.

They soon left to do other things that were required of them. I sat on the edge of my bed and tried not to cry. I didnt want my powders running down my face. My father would be mad if i showed up looking like a harlot from the brothel.

Today was the day. Today was the feast. Today was the day i would die. The Clarissa Morgenstern i had always know would wither away. To be replaced by the one my husband chose. I really didnt want to go. I almost contemplated an escape plan but i knew it would never work. My father would catch me and punish me. I had to go to the feast.

I looked out the window at the many flags. Suitors had come from thousands of miles around. I couldnt make out the sigil from this distance. But i knew there were to be many. Each royal family would present there best candidate and the riches that came with it. Then a battle would commence to see who had the most prowess. The winner of the battle would then win the prize. Me.

I at least hoped he was handsome. I hoped that he was nice. I hoped that he would make me be a better woman. I tried to scrape together any thoughts that would make me more at ease. If i had to pretend the whole evening than so be it. I would not cry and act like a child. I was a lady. I was raised in the fine arts of the royal circle. Any displeasure and i would be punished. For my sake, i hoped that i would find a good enough match to please my father.

I heard the bannerman trumpeting the song of our realm. There were hundreds of people camped out in the outer walls of the castle. They were all excited to see who the Morgenstern princess would marry. I on the other hand didnt want this day to ever happen. I wanted to be the girl in my dreams, not the girl to be married off like cattle.

A knock on my door aroused my sense. I bid them enter. It was my fathers mage of the castle, Magnus Bane. He usually assisted in the sick, being as he was more healer than mage. He was still a person of power, not to be trifled with.

"Come on child, its time for you to be presented." he said softly. I could tell he felt pity for me. I shrugged his pity off, i didnt need it.

I stood up tall and straight and followed Magnus out the door. He escorted me to the royal hall. I was early, many of the people hadnt been allowed in yet.

"Your to sit beside your father at the high table, once everyone is seated and the feast starts, you will stand as your name is read." he said ceremoniously.

I nodded respectively, and tried to push down the fear inside my heart.

"Dont worry, you will do fine." Magnus whispered.

I gave him a weak smile and entered the hall. My father was already seated, as was my brother. There were three chairs upon the dais, one was empty. I walked past the long table and sat down in my assigned seat. My brother was glaring at me the whole time. I didnt return his gaze. I sat with my eyes downcast. The royal guard was allowing the guests in.

A group of loud cheery voices were heard coming to the door. So many people, of all descents and origins filled the hall. Such a range of outfits and accessories. Most of them were men, but a select few were woman. I took them to be lesser members of the royal houses hoping to maybe get their own marriage proposal.

I tried to appear happy and excited but i knew i was failing. My brother who was seated next to me, gave me a kick under the table.

"Act more pleased!" he hissed at me.

I faked a wider happier smile.

When all the people were seated my father took stand.

"Welcome all guests from the royal families! I welcome you here today on a very special occasion. Today my daughter will have a husband. And a damned good husband he'd better be!" Everyone laughed at the kings words. Except me.

"I welcome you with food and drink so that we may join together before tonight's festivities. Eat up! Drink up! And enjoy this wonderful occasion!" my father bellowed loudly through out the hall.

"I know put forth my daughter Clarissa, the beautiful Morgenstern princess." My father said loud enough for all to hear. I stood up as fast i could. I smiled at all the greedy faces looking up at me. I tried to not linger on any special one. My father nodded for me to sit. I sat back down, glad to not be the center of attention anymore.

Cheers erupted from the table. I noticed a few hungry eyes trying to catch my attention. I ignored them the best i could. The servants began to bring in the food. Before long the table was groaning, i didnt know how anyone could eat this much food.

Wide ranges of dishes, from roasted pork, to fried liver, to fire spitted duck. I had never in my life sat before so much splendor. I scooped some roasted potatoes and garlic onto my plate. My father and brother were grabbing everything like animals. I ate with dignity and composure.

The whole hall was busy eating and talking. I sat silently and ate as much as i could. I was terrified down deep into my soul.

When the eating was done the people were escorted back out onto the grounds. Me and my family were escorted through a different way. We couldnt be sure if there were assassin attempts out on us in the crowd. We took our own way to the arena.

The battle arena was a wooden encampment. It was a wide circle with enough seats for everyone to sit. The middle platform was for the Morgenstern heirs. We climbed the steps to take our seats. Next the selected suitors would be set of in pairs until only one was standing. They each before the battle would declare their royal house. Which would let my father know the riches that came with the man. I detested this mockery of bravery.

The first two men were brought forward. He declared himself of the Penhallow royal family, the other one was a Garroway. Battle commenced. I watched the men spare each other, all hoping to receive my hand. I kind of liked the look of the Garroway man. He looked alot nicer than his opponent. Garroway was sadly defeated.

I watched battle after battle. Penhallow was then matched against someone from the Carter royal house and then he too was defeated. Too anyone looking up into the arena, i appeared watchful and respectful. But my eyes had glazed over a long time ago. I was pretending to watch. The sun beat unmerciful upon the spectators. I was at least shaded up here on the platform. Even so, it was still to hot. My corset made it hard to breathe. This battle was the entertainment of fools.

Different men of different houses all came forth, and all began to fall. I had hopes that maybe there would be no victor. But then that would mean i would have to marry Jonathan. I didnt want that the most of all.

After hours in the hot sun, i was beginning to wish that my father would hurry up and just pick someone. It was then that i noticed someone that was different then the rest. For the best part of the battle i hadnt been watching what was going on. I had missed all that had were two men in the arena now. The one stood out from the other. He was a tall man, with dark hair and even from this distance, i could see his beautiful blue eyes. I leaned forward and tried to see what was going on.

I hadnt been paying attention and i hadnt realized that these were the last two suitors! The losers were all bunched up by the side of the arena. Scowls lined every single face. They all would be sporting bruises on the morrow. The dark haired man was up against a big brute. He had to outweigh me by three hundred pounds! Please dont let him win! If there are any gods in the heavens above, do not let me marry that man!

The dark haired man fought well. For every blow the brute swung, he easily parried it. His lean body meant he was faster than his opponent. I leaned forward and hoped that he would win. He swung his blunted sword with grace. Smacking the brute on the side of his head. The brute didnt like that. He charged at the smaller man. My teeth were clenched so hard i feared they might break.

The man ducked down at the last second and the brute tripped right over him! The crowd laughed. The brute had landed hard on his back. The dark haired man was quick. He rested his blade right in front of the brutes thick neck. He had won.

Cheers erupted loudly from the crowd.

The only thing i thought, was thank god.

Imagine being married to that big thing of a man.


	4. Chapter 4

My father stood up to address the people. He was pleased with the victor. The dark haired man walked forward. He bowed to my father. I watched in nervous anticipation. This was to be my husband.

"Alec Lightwood, i crown you victor! And you may have my daughters hand in marriage. Let all people sitting here today recognize this courship. For a few weeks, you have the liberty to stay here in the castle. You may get to know your bride. We will prepare for the wedding. Now everyone return to your tents. We will have a courtship celebration on the morrow!" My father cried out to the crowd.

The crowd eagerly cheered for their victor. I watched the solemn expressions of the losers. Most of them looked wistful, but some looked angry. Was i really worth that much? I looked at my new husband. I was sad to see that his face was blank. He didnt look happy at all. But if he wasnt trying for my hand then why did he join in the batte?

My betrothed gave one long bow to my father, and then one short one for me. Then he turned away and joined his family. My feelings were a little hurt. He was beautiful, that Alec Lightwood, but he also seemed bitter. The royal family was then escorted back to the castle. I watched the big doors finally shut and i felt a little better. I would have a few weeks before i was married. It took time to go over the proper dowry arrangements and to prepare for the wedding. Knowing my father, it was sure to be a grandeur occasion.

My father grabbed my arm before i could take leave to my chambers.

"Clarissa, come with me."

He led me to his private council room. I took the seat across from him. He sat down and folded his hands on the table. He looked at me for a long time before he spoke.

"Alec Lightwood comes from a very prestigious family. He will make a good husband for you. But mark my words Clary, if you invoke his anger i will be severely displeased with you. Do you understand what i mean?" he asked.

I nodded my head in compliance. He looked pleased, he continued on.

"We shall have your marriage celebration tomorrow. There will be more food, dancing, and a chance to speak to your betrothed. I expect you to act in the manner that a woman of Morgenstern blood should. You may leave." He had begun to look at his papers. I stood up and prepared to leave.

"Oh, and one more thing Clary. You may not think so, but i was proud of you today. You will make a good wife. A nice, obediant, respectful wife." he said not even looking up from his papers. I mumbled a thank you and left the room.

I walked slowly back to my chambers. I didnt want my father proud of me for being a sheep. I wanted him proud of me for being a wolf! I was bitter. I hated the fact that i had no control of my life, that i had no control of my body, that i had no control of anything! I slammed my door open with a band. I didnt want no part of this facade. I had to pretend to be happy but yet my husband could look as miserable as he pleased.

I felt a deep sadness. Why would he want to marry me if it wasnt for love? Of course, i tried to forget that i was a rich princess. Why did everything had to do with monetary value? Why couldnt he be pleased just that i was pretty, that i was smart. Men were all the same. They never saw me for the woman i was.

* * *

The next day was a flurry of excitement. Everyone around the village ran from place to place. All important villagers had been invited for the celebration. There would be food, music, dancing. I would actually get to speak to my husband today. I was dressed up again for todays events. Except this time i was dressed in white to symbolize my purity.

I looked beautiful. I did not look forward to the event but it was something i had to do. I could run and hide but that would solve nothing. Thousands of people would search for me, and once they found me i would be in trouble.

When at last it was time for the celebration i was escorted out onto the grounds. The grounds of the courtyard were awash with light. Torches flickered here and there basking the whole area with light. Tents were put up to shelter the food. Music was coming from the group of singers on the far side. Everything was perfect.

The celebration was at hand. People flocked in, every which way. All eager for the free food and wine. I stood awkward beside my fathers adviser. He was a small man of no statue. But he guided my father on difficult tasks. We were waiting here for the king.

My father emerged to stand in front of the crowd. The crowd grew silent and waited for him to speak.

"Welcome once again all fellow royals. We gather here to celebrate our victorious champion, Alec Lightwood!" He cried. He swung his arm to the right to introduce Alec to the crowd. He was handsome in his tunic of fine silks. I found myself beginning to blush. Alec came to stand beside my father.

"And also to witness his lovely bride. Clarrisa!" He shouted signalling me to come forward. The crowd cheered loud from every direction. I went to stand beside Alec.

"And now without further ado, the dancing of the wife and husband shall commence. Enjoy the festivities for there wont be another for a few years yet." he said looking towards my brother who had came forth from the crowd. The crowd laughed, Jonathan was not married yet and it was undetermined when he might.

Alec took my hand and led me into the middle of the crowd. He put his hands to my hip. I blushed as i looked into his eyes. I was surprised to see nothing in them. He looked bored! He looked as if he didnt want to be here. My heart was crushed inside my chest. I had expected a smile at the least. My husband didnt want to be here.

The music started, the trumpets blared, and someone was playing a wind instrument. It was a beautiful song. I just had hoped i would have been dancing with a person who wanted to dance with me. Alec swung me around, following the normal dance steps. I let him lead and just tried my best not to upset his movement.

When the dance was over, Alec gave me a bow and left me. He just left me standing in the middle of dancing people. Other people had started to dance after the initial dance had started. I was abashed that i was dropped like a hot coal. He didnt even speak to me the entire dance!

I fought tears streaming from my eyes. My husband didnt show any interest in me at all. I pushed my way through all the people. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to be away from all these people who were dancing and laughing. I didnt understand why i would be treated as such. He had won my hand. He had battled for it. And yet he acted as if he didnt want anything to do with it.

I hadnt been paying attention and i ran into someone. I fell to the ground stunned. My dress was covered in dirt. I stood up and tried to wipe off the worst of the grime.

"Im sorry i didnt see you coming."

I looked up into a set of golden eyes. I was almost stuck to the spot. My mouth fell open and all i could do was stare. He was beautiful. His eyes were a gold color that i had never seen before. His hair was a lighter gold, but gold nonetheless. He was a character from some romance book. His body was lean and muscled. I would be lying if i said i didnt feel a strong desire in my body.

I had never seen a creature so fine as this. "Who are you?" i managed to whisper.

His eyes went fearful for a moment, "Jace Wayland if it pleases you my lady." He lowered his eyes from my gaze. Wayland, i had never heard of the royal Wayland family.

"I have never heard of the royal name Wayland, are you a distant relation to the royals?" i asked. Some people that had come to the celebration were not royal, but they had enough blood in them to be at least somewhat accepted into the group. As long as there family was high enough up of course.

"No, ma'am...Im just a...a low born from a family that works at the stable."

My mouth dropped again. A low born here? At this celebration? How could this be? No one from the village except important people were allowed here. If my father knew...

I looked at his clothes. He was dressed at least nicely. Nobody would ever realize he was a poor man from the village. He must have saved alot of money working hard for those clothes. Nobody down in the village dressed that nice.

I looked into his eyes, almost about to warn him, when i hesitated. Why shouldnt he be allowed here? No matter that i didnt even know how he had gotten here in the first place. He was dressed nice and he talked like a gentlemen. If it was up to me, he would be allowed to stay. But i knew that my father watched closely the royals that came from across the land. He would know this man was not a royal. I had never seen someone with golden features that this man wore. He would stand out like a sore thumb.

His eyes were sad, as if he knew his night of fun was over. He had to have known that he would be punished if he ever was found out. I grabbed his arm.

"Come with me." i whispered. He looked surprised but followed behind me. I led him to an empty part of the grounds that the festivities had not reached. I nodded for him to sit on the grass. I sat beside him. I had never really known someone who was foolish to sneak into the castle. This man intrigued me. Why would he do such a thing.

"Why are you here? How did you even sneak in?" i asked.

He looked a little timid so i said, "Dont worry im not going to turn you in." I smiled the only genuine smile i had smiled that night. He looked more at ease after hearing that.

"Everyone is so attentive to the celebration, that nobody noticed me sneaking in behind the rest. I dressed the part, so i looked the part. They just let me walk in."

My father would be enraged by this. He thought the common people were nothing better than soil toilers. He would not be happy to hear that a common man had easily walked past the guards. I was actually impressed. To risk coming to the castle, when at any moment you could be found out. He must know my father was a ruthless man. He must know that the penalty he would have suffered would have been paramount.

I instead talked to him. I learned of his family. I learned that he actually rode horses! I loved horses. I learned many things that night. We spoke of many things. He listened to me as i told him things about myself. He actually listened and didnt try to make me feel inferior. He treated me like he would treat any one else. I had never met a man such as this! When the festivities were starting to die out, i grabbed his hand.

"Listen you must leave, its almost time. People will begin to notice you and you cant be caught."

He wouldnt let go of my hand, "But i want to see you again."

I smiled, "The castle is guarded, there is no way."

"I will see you again Clarissa." he declared. I had no choice but to blush.

"And i will look forward to it. Now go!"

When Jace had turned and was starting to dash away. I called his name and ran to him.

"Wait! You never told me why you snuck in here in the first place."

He smiled a dazzling smile that almost took my breath away.

"It was to see you. I always wanted to rest my gaze on the Morgenstern princess. They say down in the village that you are pretty, but i think your the most beautiful creature i have ever laid my eyes upon." He said quickly, before he turned and ran to join the crowd of people waiting to leave the castle walls.

I brought my hand to my lips. I could still see the way his golden eyes gleamed in the light of the torches. He was beautiful. His whole stature was magnificent. It was hard to believe that he was low born. His beauty alone would move any woman to tears. I reminisced until the torches were being extinguished. I ran back to the castle in the hopes that no one had noticed my absence at the celebration.

When i finally got to my chambers, i flung myself down on the bed. I felt elated. I could feel the pure adrenaline rushing through my veins. I had never felt this alive! That young man had listened to me and spoke to me like an equal! He had not treated me like a princess, he had treated me like i was a close friend. I laid in bed feeling happy. Thinking of all the things that had happened and that were said. And i was astounded to realize, that i was in love with him.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day things went back to normal. The royals were preparing their long journey home. Only the Lightwoods stayed. They would be staying for the courtship. When it was time for the wedding they would need to be there. They needed to recognize our marriage before the king. It was the only way to have the marriage legal and binded. Once we were married, there was no turning back.

I had not seen any of my betrothal since the dance yesterday. I was glad that was the case. I couldnt get Jace out of my mind. I could not get the thought of him near me. It was almost too much to bare. I felt sick when i thought of my upcoming courtship. Me and Alec would be required to spend alot more time together. I dreaded this upcoming event. My heart belonged to another!

Some people might call it foolish, but my heart knew what it wanted. And it wanted Jace Wayland. I was caught in a trap. I was betrothed to another. There was no chance for a girl like me and a boy like him. I felt my hopes wither. He was low born! My father would never accept him as my husband. Common born were never considered for the royal bloodline. Their blood was no better than dirt.

I was expected to get to know my husband. I was expected to woo him into taking me. He could break off the attachment at any time if he chose. That was what this courtship was for. It allowed the suitor to know his bride before he consummated the marriage. Men always got that choice. Woman were never allowed to say no.

Maybe if i acted repulsive he would call it off! But then i would have to suffer my fathers wrath. He would know of my actions and i would be punished for them. I couldnt believe the situation i was in! How could i pretend to be happy with someone i didnt love? I had loved Jace at first sight! That was how love was supposed to work. I had fallen for him the moment i looked into his eyes.

He had captured my heart and even down to my soul. I had never felt like this before, and i definitely didnt feel that way for Alec. He was handsome sure, but he evoke the same feelings that Jace did.

I didnt know what to do. I went through the day as normal as possible. I instructed the servants on what flowers to plant. I watched the daily happenings in the castle. I tried to stay occupied. I didnt want to think of the despair lodged in my chest.

My fathers adviser came to me. "Your to meet with your betrothed in the sun room. You will be supervised so dont think your woman fantasies will happen tonight."

I almost couldnt believe that! Did he think we were going to mate right there on the very floor? How dare him. I was a princess, i knew how to act like a lady. I pushed my way past him and made my way to the sun room. When i reached the archway i stopped to calm my beating heart.

I entered as dignified as i could. Alec was leaning up against the open window. It was a huge window cut into the castle walls. It was designed this way to allow as much sun in as possible. Alec looked solemn as he looked out onto the grounds. My father had positioned a guard near the door. I had almost missed him standing there.

I walked toward Alec, and when he turned around i bowed.

"Its nice to finally speak to you, my lord." I said as light as possible.

"And i you, i had never imagined your beauty as much as it is. I have heard much but i needed to see with my own eyes." he said confidently. I could see his eyes flickering to the guard by the door. Why did this feel false? It was almost like he was saying what he had to say. I composed my thoughts and began to speak of trivial things.

When at last we were allowed to leave, i knew more about my betrothed then i ever did. He was an arrogant arse. He didnt seem interested at all in what i had to say. He acted a part of a script. The script that i had no part of. He was always checking to see where the guard was. He didnt want to speak to me at all! I didnt understand it.

I was left with a bitter taste in my mouth.

* * *

Over the next few days, i played the part of the obedient wife. I met with Alec on more then one occasion. None of them mattered much. He was obliged to assist me to the healers chambers. Magnus had to inspect me to see that i was still pure. He was required to stand by and wait for confirmation. If i was found unpure, the marriage would be disbanded.

Me and Alec made our way to the healers den. It was at the highest point in the left tower of the castle. I was almost out of breathe by the time i reached it. I knocked politely, a calm voice replied.

"Enter."

So we did, I was amazed to see Alec was instantly alert. We were standing in front of Magnus, he knew why we were here. Magnus's eyes were not looking at me, he was looking at Alec. Why had Alec suddenly come alive? He never looked this interested when it was just us talking. I couldnt understand him at all.

Magnus tore his gaze away and gestured for me to come with him. I followed him behind a sheepskin cloth. It made it so Alec couldnt see me naked, and it made sure Alec could hear as soon as the verdict was reached.

I felt no worry, no man had made a claim on me.

I undressed and allowed Magnus to examine me. It was over in a few minutes.

"Shes pure." he mumbled.

Did i detect displeasure in his tone? Was he not happy with the fact i was untouched? He had me undress and i walked back to my betrothed. He was sitting in the chair while my procedure was done. He stood up straight when i reentered with Magnus on my heels. His eyes went to Magnus's face.

"Thanks healer, i appreciate the good care you have serviced my...wife"

Was i mental or did i notice a glance between those two? Why had he hesitated when he thanked him for his service to me? Did those two know each other? He acted more alive when we went to the healer than he ever did. I wondered as to the reason why.

Alec left me at the main hall. I decided i was going to walk around the gardens. I needed time to think. I walked out into the sun and headed east. I was instantly at peace when i was surrounded by my beautiful flowers. I stopped to sniff the roses. When i looked up, he was there.

"Jace? How?" i stuttered.

He smiled and my heart lurched in my chest.

"I got employed right here in the castle. They were inquiring over a animal handler in the village. I came forward and told them my expertise. They hired me that day. I have been trying hard to reach you, but you were always inside the castle. Im just the stable watcher, i wouldnt ever be seen in the castle." he said in a rush.

I beamed at him. This was perfect. He would always be in the castle now and i could see him whenever i wanted. How lucky could i get? I grabbed his hand in mine. I turned to look around me. I couldnt let anyone see us. I led us to the thickest of bushes and pushed him through. Behind the bush was a little enclosure. The bush hid us from view. I sat next to him, just happy to be in his presence.

We spent that sunny afternoon together. He had leaned close to me and planted a kiss across my cheek. I blushed as red as a rose. We spent the afternoon talking. We talked about our hopes and dreams. I spoke to him about how i wanted to be a better ruler than my father. He had sat silently though out it all. He seemed to be in thought.

"I never really thought of this, but what are we doing Clary?" he asked. I loved how he used my shortened name.

"What do you mean? We are talking?"

"But your a princess, and im just a common man. Your father would never let it happen." he whispered.

"Dont worry, i will think of a way. I feel for you Jace. I know it sounds crazy but i feel as if i have known you forever. You make me feel alive in all the ways i never have been."

He leaned over to kiss me hard on the lips. I wrapped my hands around the back of his neck and pulled him to me tighter. His lean body pressed against mine. It was a hot day outside, and i still didnt care. I pressed myself against him as hard as i could. I could feel his member stiffening through his pants.

I broke from the kiss out of breath.

"We need to slow down. I cant think when your pressed against me." I was flustered. I have never known what it was like to kiss a man. My thoughts lingered to dangerous ideas and i started to get aroused. I quickly thought of something else.

"I understand, i will wait for you. I will wait for you as long as it takes. When will i see you next?" He asked me, looking at the darkening sky. I didnt want him to go but i knew he had too. Someone might wonder as to where he was.

"Tomorrow when the sun is highest in the sky."

He smiled and leaned over one last time to kiss me. It took all my willpower to not indulge in this wicked event. I couldnt lost my virginity right here in the dirt! He broke the kiss and i slipped out of the bush before him. I took one last look behind me to see him smile and walk back to the stables.

My face was red. I felt desire burning in my gut. I wanted him so badly. I wanted his seed burning inside me. Dear god, i needed to calm down. I couldnt think these thoughts, i was a lady! A proper lady didnt think these things especially out here where everyone could see! I ran to my chambers. I needed to see him again. Or else i would die from this desire. This awfully wicked desire, that crawled throughout my entire body. Leaving me weak with need.


	6. Chapter 6

That next day went by in a whirl of activities. I tried to keep myself occupied with my time. I would meet Jace tonight. I couldnt act out of ordinary, i couldnt attract attention. I was summoned to my fathers council room in mid afternoon. When i made my way they i was almost terrified. What if he had found out? What if he had known all along. He must have someone watching me, he always did.

I knocked and waited for admittance. "Come in" i heard him say from behind the door. I entered the room and took my usual chair. I tried to appear calm but my father was a smart man. He could smell fear. I was trying not to let him see me afraid.

"Clary, how nice of you to stop in." he said. Even though he knew full and well that i had been summoned here. My father liked to play his little games.

"How are you and Alec getting along." he asked, not looking up from his ink and parchment.

"Fine, we spent the afternoon yesterday in the tea room." Even though he knew that already.

"Ah yes, i heard about all that. Was he exactly as you hoped? He is quiet handsome. He will make beautiful strong children." He was still not looking at me. Wasnt that a sign of disrespect when someone spoke and didnt look you in the eye?

"I suppose so father." i murmured.

Finally he looked up at me. I could see his black eyes held nothing. He was not interested in the least bit if i liked my husband. I had no choice in that matter.

"Is everything going as it should be? I would hate for something to come between this match." he slowly said.

"No father, everything is fine. I like him." i rushed on hoping he didnt detect any traces of my lie.

"You like him? Well thats irrelevant. You must do everything in your power to make him yours. He has but a few weeks to decide to keep you. This is paramount. The Lightwoods are a high noble family. It will be honorable to be joined together. I couldnt have picked a better man." he said wistful.

"I will, your grace."

"Thats what i want to hear, now you may leave. I have urgent business here to look over that dont concern a mere woman."

I tried to suppress the anger that wanted to rise up in me. He always has thought i was useless. He never would truly love me. My father always said he loved my mother, but i just dont believe it. That monster didnt love anyone but himself.

I left the room and continued with my activities from this morning, before i had been rudely summoned. I had convinced the royal castle guard to move my lodgings down in the almost abandoned wing of the castle. Nobody hardly ever slept down here. They all preferred the higher more prestigious rooms at the top of the spirals. I wanted something more close to the ground.

I had guards move all my belongings into a spacious chamber that i had checked out. It was a little forlorn and hadnt been used in a few centuries, but it would do. I would not be disturbed as often down here. There was a reason that kept edging at the side of my mind, but i pushed it away. When everything was perfect, i began to relax.

My father might get mad and order me to return to my original lodgings, but for now i was safe. I had servants fill the fireplace and dust out all the dirt that had collected over the years. It wasnt fancy or anyway unique, but it was my own. I was happy that i finally had a space that i had chosen.

It was also a nice little walk to get here from the main castle. It was a dark corridor that led into the black. I felt this would deter potential spies and even my brother. I had not seen Jonathan all he. He must be bothering someone else, which suited me fine.

I went through out my day in a jumble of nerves. I was trying hard to appear normal but i couldnt. I would meet my love tonight. I had pushed Alec far from my mind. I had not seen him since yesterday. He was lodged in the residential west wing of the castle. I could always go see him. Maybe that would please my father?

I chose a simple silk dress. I was not going to dress highly for a little visit. I brushed my hair til it shone. I was ready. I walked all the way down my own private hall til i reached the antechamber, from there i took a left and made my way to Alec's chambers. Surely he cant be mad for his betrothed coming to pay respects.

When i got to the door, i stood up straight and knocked once. I could hear someone whispering behind the door. A few noises of moving things were also present. What was he doing in there? I waited patiently before knocking again. Alec came to the door a little out of breath. What in gods name was he out of breath for? He looked like he had run a mile. I smiled as best as i could.

"May i come in?" i asked sweetly.

"Im a little busy at the moment." he declared blatantly.

"Oh but this will only take a moment." i argued.

I wanted my father to hear that i had willingly chose to go to Alec. He would be pleased to see me taking initative. Not that it matters much.

He appeared vexed but he inched the door open so i could enter. His chambers were a mess. Was he cleaning or something? But thats what the servants were for. His bed was a jumble of furs. I looked around curious until i saw a cloth sticking out from a chest. It had the blue embroidered sleaves of the castle healers. Why would Magnus's clothes be in Alec's chambers? I tried to listen for any breathing that was not ours. I couldnt detect anyone else in the room but us.

But that didnt mean anything, this chamber probably had its own secret doors and closets. I was instantly suspicious. Why would they be together in his chamber? Why would Magnus have taken his clothes off? It didnt make any sense.

"What did you want Clarissa." Alec asked trying to look calm. I could smell the very lie.

"I just wanted to know why theres a healers robe in your chest." i said pointing.

Alec blanched and tried to collect himself. "I dont know what your talking about."

"Alec i am not stupid. I have seen the way you two gaped at each other. Like a bitch in heat. Now i come here to find that his clothes are in your chamber." i hissed.

"Its not what you think. He came to inquire over our marriage and he spilled wine on his clothes. I offered him something to wear so he could leave. His clothes he never came to collect." he rushed out.

I knew i smelled a lie. He was lying and i couldnt begin to understand why.

"I can tell your not being truthful." i argued.

"To hell with that, i am not obliged to explain to you why anyone is in my chambers. Your a woman and i am a man, you best learn your place!" he yelled at me.

"Then i best go tell my father that my husband is into men." i said, my own self angry.

He appeared to look in anger. I could see he wanted to strangle me. Was this truly how a wife and husband are supposed to act? Surely not.

"Clary you dont understand. I will marry you at the end of this courtship and you will have no choice. That is all."

"But why marry me if you dont like me? That is just preposterous!" i cried.

"Because we have no choice, or hadnt you noticed? Our parents are completely set on this match. If i fail to please them, my inheritance goes to my brother. If you fail, your name is shamed to my family. We both will lose so much if this doesnt go as planned." he pleaded. I could see sadness inside his blue eyes.

My anger dimmed away. I knew how he felt. He didnt want to marry me anymore than i wanted to marry him. This was something are parents had made us do. How could i spend my life with someone who didnt even like me? Who most likely didnt even like woman? I was not too young to know that sometimes men and men lie together.

"I understand, just be careful. If i found out so quick, others will too. Good day Alec."

I left the room downcast. My own husband was not even interested in my pleasures of the flesh. He was more into that healer Magnus. I was upset because i would have to marry him and he would despise me. He didnt want me. But yet we had no choice. We were both trapped in this match.

Being gay was not something one bragged about. The secrets of the chambers were just that, secrets. If you were into such things you kept it a secret. He was an amazing fighter and i had not even thought of the possibility that he was into men. He hid it well. I shuddered to think what my father would say if he knew. My father tolerated none of that kind of stuff. You married to produce children. You could enjoy the carnal pleasures if you were a man, but you kept it secret. Us woman were to be pure and chaste.

I had a few more hours before the sun was at its highest. I didnt know what to do with myself. I could not face stares and glares from the rest of the castle. Somehow it would get reported to my father, and then once again i would be summoned. I didnt want to speak to my father yet. I was not in control of my emotions. Too much was happening.

I was happy that Alec was not interested. But i was also sad, because the marriage would be a terrible one. I couldnt imagine living to end up dying with a gay husband. He would never love me in the way i wanted. But i had Jace. Jace who i burned for at the very sight. His eyes lingered on my flesh and i felt it burn. His touches sent me into a cloud of bliss. Even in all this darkness and despair, i still had my shining light.


	7. Chapter 7

When the sun finally reached its highest point in the sky, i couldnt control my rush of happiness. It was time for me to go to Jace! I still wore my simple dress that i had worn to see Alec. I didnt want to raise attention by dressing up just to go into the garden. Nobody must know that i was meeting the stable boy. My fathers wrath would be unimaginable.

I tried to walk slowly and casually to the gardens. I was half tempted to run. But then the guards would wonder what i was running too. I tried to remain calm and collected. The sun was burning brightly from the sky. I had maybe a few hours with him at most. My father would wonder as to where i was.

I strolled into the garden and immediately headed to our secret spot. I looked once around me to see if anyone was near, and then i pushed myself behind the bush. He was already there. I rushed to hug him but stopped short.

"What happened to your face?" i cried. His face on the left side was a crusty purplish bruise. His eyes were not the soft they had been yesterday.

"I had returned late. I may not have much time with you today. The stable master doesnt look kindly on lateness." he sounded bitter. I went and hugged him. I pressed my delicate frame as much as i could into his lean supple one. I knew how hard it was for any common man. Just because he worked in the castle now made him no different. My fathers men could be cruel.

"Im sorry." i whispered.

"Dont be, it was my fault. I will be fine. It was worth it to see you even if for a second." He was smiling at me. His face was still beautiful even with the blows he had sustained. I kissed him lightly on his bruised face. He grimaced in pain so i pulled away.

We began to talk lightly about what i had been up too. I asked him questions about his everyday life.

"Whats to know? I wake up every morning at the crack of dawn. Spend countless hours cleaning out stalls. I feed the castles animals and i butcher them if necessary. I dont just work with horses Clary. The castle has a wide range of animals. My job is to take care of them all. Im so tired and my hands are blistered." he said wearily.

I felt unhappy. I felt bad for the common folk. I looked down at my own hands. They were pretty and delicate. They had never done a hard days work in their life. I never really stopped to think about the common toils of everyday men.

"But i get to see you." He said putting his finger underneath my chin, bring my eyes toward him. I once again got lost in his eyes. I had never seen golden eyes such as his. I could look into them all night long. He slowly brought his lips to mine. I could taste the fresh taste of apples on his lips. I eagerly kissed him back. When he slowly slid his tongue into my mouth, i thought i would die.

I couldnt take this anymore. I wanted to be around him, i wanted him to be around me. I wanted him to be in me. I wanted us to be as one as people in love are supposed to be. I reached my hands to slide underneath his shirt. I could feel is hard taut muscles clench at my touch. His hands roamed down the contours of my bodice. I pressed myself as close as i could. Feeling man parts in his pants stiffen almost drove me wild.

I couldnt get enough of him. I couldnt press harder against him if i tried. His lips were locked to mine and my legs were now wrapped around him. I have never in my life been like this for anyone. He awoke feelings in me that i could push down. I wanted him. And i wanted him badly.

"Clary? Where are you?" I heard a voice ask.

I ripped myself away from Jace. I was scared. I couldnt let them find him! If they did and seen the state of us, he would be punished on the spot. It was a crime to be like this with another royals wife! Especially because Jace was of the common variety.

I pushed my finer to my lips, signalling Jace to stay silent. I peeked out into the gardens and seen my brother, his back was to me. He was looking around for me. He had to have seen me enter the gardens! Now i would never be safe coming here again. Jonathan would murder Jace on the spot if he found him.

I waited til Jonathan walked a little ways away and then i spoke to Jace in a rush.

"Listen, stay here until the coast is clear. I will lead my brother away from here okay. It isnt safe here anymore. I will come to you when i can think of something. Now stay silent." i whispered feverishly.

I slowly squeezed myself out from behind the bush. I straightened my dress as much as i could. Wiping the dirt off as best as i could. When i steadied my ever beating heart i made after Jonathan. I found him at the entrance of the gardens looking around. He was looking for me.

"Jonathan, what are you doing here?" i asked casually.

"Clary, there you are. You know the weirdest thing, i seen you enter here but yet when i came in i could see you no where. Isnt that peculiar?" he teased.

"I was sleeping by my favorite rose bush. I heard your final call as you were walking away."

"Ah of course. I could swear i checked everywhere..." he said looking at me sternly.

"I assure you i was there." i said confidently.

He looked at me with his black eyes. I could tell he wanted me to confess where i truly was. He didnt really believe me. Finally he tore his gaze away.

"I also thought i seen someone else enter before you did." he said softly, looking into the gardens once more. Fear gripped me. If he had seen Jace, all was ruined.

"But it might have just been the sun in my eyes. Well i better let you get back to your business." He said still standing there. I looked at him one last time to see if he was angry. I could see nothing in his cold dark eyes. I left him at the entrance to the gardens. I had to be alone to collect my feelings. That encounter with Jonathan had startled me.

* * *

Jonathan smiled as his sister walked away. He lingered outside the garden for a few more minutes. He was trying to see if anyone else came out. He walked over to the castle walls and leaned against it. He was half hidden by the walls shadow. Anyone coming out would have a hard time seeing him there. He leaned up and waited.

Within a few more moments someone came out. Jonathan clenched his teeth in anger. He knew it! His sister was nothing more than a dirty whore. She was sneaking around with that man. That golden haired man. Jonathan had never seen him before in the castle. He couldnt see him clearly from here but he could see enough. His sister was a terrible liar. He could smell the deceit on her pretty white skin.

What did she see in him, he wondered. He had pretty features yes. The golden haired man walked back to the servants quarters. Oh this was great. His sister, the Morgenstern princess, was in love with a servant. He had to laugh at that one. He laughed long and hard. His father would be seething with anger. The golden haired would be found and executed. Nobody common was ever allowed to even touch a royal.

He smiled, deep in the shadows of the wall. Things were working out better than he had hoped. Her husband was gay, and here she was fucking the servant boy! Well, he hadnt seen evidence of them being together as one. A burn of jealousy ripped up inside him. He had wanted her since before he could remember. Our children would be untainted, they would be pure Morgensterns. Instead his father had allowed her to be betrothed to that Lightwood man. That Lightwood fairy boy. It had taken only one night of spying to attain that information. Alec was hot for that healer Magnus. Anyone with brains could see.

How dare she chose that low born over him! He should have had her maidenhead not that low life scum. She was his whether she liked it or not. If all things went as planned she would be his. He would make her surrender herself to him. He would make her cunt eager for his rock hard member. He would make her scream out his name.

But all in due time. He had to be patient. He had to keep watch.

All things happen in good time, he thought, still smiling from the shadows.


	8. Chapter 8

That night i was tossing and turning in my bed. I had hoped that my little adventures with Jace would remain undiscovered. We had been so close today! And we had also almost been discovered. That couldnt happen again. I would need to think of another plan.

My brother also had been a little to close for my liking. What was he doing snooping around the gardens? Surely if he knew about Jace he would stop us. He had hinted at seeing someone else but he hadnt said for sure. I was worried. I hadnt stopped to think about the consquences. I hadnt wanted to think of them. Why couldnt i just be left alone? Why couldnt i just be allowed to do what i wanted? Why couldnt i love who i wanted to love?

* * *

The next morning i scrawled a note onto a piece of torn parchment. I would have to find a way to get it to Jace. It was killing me that i couldnt meet with him anymore in the same spot. That had been our secret haven. I could have discovered all of lifes secrets there.

I stuffed the note into my bodice. I had to find out where exactly Jace was. I figured i could try near the stables. I opened my chamber door and almost ran into my father. He was standing there silently staring at me. Oh no! Could he possibly know about Jace. He pushed past me and entered the room.

"I dont like this one bit. Why would you move your lodgings Clarissa? Especially way out here?" he asked. I could tell he wasnt happy.

"Just for a new surrounding father. I will miss the castle when i have to leave so i figured i would get started now. Being here makes me feel homesick but every day its easier to get over." i lied effortlessly. He looked at me for a few moments and then looked around.

"If this is where you want to be then fine. How is your betrothed? I havent seen him much around the castle. Last night at dinner he seemed far away. You have been doing what i asked?"

"Yes father, i was thinking of seeing him today." i said simply.

He looked at me to try and detect a lie, and found what he wanted.

"Okay, i shall leave you to it. But make sure that things are okay between you two. Its only a short few weeks before the wedding and we dont want anything messing that up." he said coldly. He gave me one last parting glance and then left my chambers. I was relieved that it was all about Alec and not about Jace.

I exited my chambers and went out onto the grounds. It was beautiful outside. I breathed in the fresh scent of grass. I loved being outdoors. I walked casually towards the animal pens. No one there would think it weird that i was visiting. Everyone in the castle knew i had a thing for animals.

I walked over to the wooden fence and peered over. I couldnt see Jace anywhere. I walked around the perimeter of the fence. I kept a sharp eye out for anyone with golden hair. I was about to give up hope when i seen him near the horses.

Such beautiful beasts horses were. They could carry a man half their weight. I had always loved horses. I pretended to not get excited and strolled nearer. He was bent over fixing a horses shoe. I could see him scraping the gunk out of the hoof. I scared him a little when i got close enough to speak.

"Jace, i dont have much time. I cant be seen talking to you." i whispered, i walked closer to examine the horse. I ripped the note out from my breasts and slipped it to him. I pretended to then scratch the horse behind the ear. I had hoped no wandering eyes had seen me slip the note to him. He looked at me and nodded. The bruise was starting to lighten on his face. He looked as handsome as ever. I felt my groin stir with desire.

"Read the note then destroy it." i murmered. I could see the stable master coming to see who was messing with his stable boy. I said a loud compliment about the horse and turned away. I saw bewilderment in the stable masters gaze. He obviously wondered why i was out in the stable yard. I gave him a regal nod and went back to the castle. I had an appointment with Alec i need to keep if i wanted people to think things were normal.

* * *

Jace couldnt believe it. Clary had actually left the castle in search of him. I didnt care what happened to him. I didnt want to see her hurt. My fist curled tight around the little scrap of paper. I stuffed it into my trouser pocket. The stable master was coming close.

"I wonder what the princess wanted." he asked giving me a look.

"She was inquiring over the horses, sire" i lied effortlessly.

He gave me one last hard look and then grunted, "Well finish up there. Theres a lot to do before sundown." I gave him a respectful bow and he went back into the wooden building that served as our quarters. I finished cleaning and repairing the horses shoe. I gave it one last gentle pat and i picked up my tools. I put the tools back in our tool chest, and went to do the other tasks my stable master asked of me.

When at last the day was finally over, i rejoiced. I still had the note in my pocket. It had been too risky looking at it with the stable master so close. I could not risk her like that. I had waited til it was time to end the day. The stable master usually headed to bed early most nights. I ate a quiet supper and then retired for the evening. I needed privacy.

"Master, i am off to bathe some of this muck off me." i shouted at him through the house. I was already out in the yard heading to the small creek that was by our pens. That served as our bathing area. When i reached there, i looked around for any unwanted eyes. I sat down in front of a tree and uncurled the note. It was simple and sweet.

 _My Jace,_

 _Meet me at my bedroom tonight. Its located along the east side wing. It will be the only one with a candle lit. I can not suffer anymore without you..._

 _Yours forever, Clary_

I could almost leap for joy! It had been a wonderful mistake that night he had bumped into her at the celebration. I had not expected to catch a glimpse of the beautiful princess. I had not expected to fall in love with her. She was so beautiful and the way a lady should be. And she created warmth that required no flame.

She stirred in me feelings that i had never known before. With every touch, my mind was blown to pieces. With every kiss, i needed more. She was like a drug. A sweet mind altering drug. I knew the risks of being seen with her. I knew the punishment i faced but i couldnt stay away. I loved her. It was as simple as that, i love her.

I took of all my garments and submerged myself in the cool water. I scrubbed myself the best i could. I didnt own anything nice anymore. The fancy clothes i had, i left for my father. My father would be able to sell them for a good price at the market. I felt at peace, for tonight i would see her. Everything else would fall into place in time.

I crawled out of the lake and shook my hair. I scrubbed the clothes as best as i could. They would not be fit for a princess but i felt that she wouldnt care anyway. She loved me. I could feel it. She kissed me with such passion that i couldnt believe that she was still pure. She felt the same desire for me as i did for her.

Oh god how i wanted her. I had wanted her that first night in the grass. They way she had laughed and her breasts moved with each breath. I almost lost it then. And in the bushes when she had pressed herself against me, i had almost taken her then and there. Each time i felt as if i would combust with all this desire. I want her and i hope to have her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Authors note: This is a sensitive chapter and i would advise not reading any further if you are to get offended by any of the terms listed in my summary.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

I paced anxiously around my chambers. I couldnt stand still. Would he come? Or would he figure it was too risky? I couldnt take this waiting around.

After i had given him the note i had went to see Alec. He had appeared the same as ever when he saw me. I talked of trivial things the entire time. I had to make it seem as if we were normal man and wife. I noticed he had markings on his neck. I didnt inquire over how he had gotten them, or who had given them to him. That was none of my business.

After a short time, i decided it was time to leave. I gave Alec a mock kiss at the door and went back to my lodging. I had been pacing back and forth ever since. I worried about him. I worried that he would get caught. I worried that he would suffer some penalty for risking to see me. I didnt want to see him hurt. But i had to see him!

I had changed out of my dress from earlier and put on a night gown. It was modest but showed a little skin. I wanted him to be excited to see me. I felt that this was the night. This was the night to see all our careful bridges burned down. I didnt want to worry anymore. I didnt want to feel as if our love was bad. Because it wasnt! It was the most beautiful thing in this world. It kept me happy when i felt like crying. How could that be bad?

I paced until i couldnt pace anymore. I sat down in a huff on my bed. Maybe he wasnt coming after all. I looked to the window and seen night had already fallen. He should have been here by now. I was almost to tears when i heard a noise! It sounded as if someone was scrambling up the stone walls. I ran to the window and threw my head out. It was Jace!

After a few seconds of climbing he was standing in my room. I ran to him and threw my arms around him. He hugged me fiercly back. I broke apart, "What took you so long? I didnt think you were coming?"

"I had a little trouble sneaking away from the stable master. Clary i had to come! I cant stand this anymore. I want you. I need you. I love you." he said all at once. I felt overwhelmed. He loved me? But surely i knew that.

"I love you as well, now come here..." i whispered seductively. He responded to my voice and came closer. He kissed my lips with urgency. I kissed him back twice as hard. He wrapped his arms around me. He kissed me until i had to break for air. Then his kisses trailed down my jaw and down my throat. I could feel the heat beginning to rise.

His lips kissed twice above my breasts. I had had enough. I ripped his shirt right of his back. His lean muscles fully displayed. I kissed him hard and ran my hands down his body. I could feel him tightening his muscles to my touch. He pushed me until my knees hit the bed. I let him lay me down. He laid on top of me and continued to kiss me. His hands slowly crept up my nightgown. I blushed deep red but let him have his way. He started rolling the nightgown up until my breasts were free. He looked me in the eye as he took one hard nipple in his mouth.

I cried out softly and watched him continue his trails of desire. He flicked and sucked delicately on each nipple before returning to my lips. I could feel myself getting wet. I wanted him and i wanted him now. I ran my fingers down his back, gently grazing. He arched to my fingernails scratching down his spine. I hooked my fingers and pulled his trousers down. His cock was rigid and hard. I was impressed at the sight of it. How in the world? It looked way to big to fit inside me. He saw my stares and kissed me gently. He could tell i was nevous. I had never been this close to another man before. I reacted instinctively and reached over to take it into my hand. He reacted instantly. He groaned and his cock throbbed hard with need.

I stroked him until he too couldnt stand it. He ripped his pants off and threw them to the side. My nightgown was torn off me and thrown away. We were both so maddened by this insatiable lust. I couldnt wait any longer.

He spread my legs and positioned himself above me. I loved the view i got of his taut muscles. He slowly started to push himself inside and i arched to meet him. He was slow at first. I was shocked at how much it hurt from his initial thrust. He slowly loosened me until his cock fit deliciously. He then thrusted so deep and hard i found myself losing control. I pushed my lips up to meet his and i kissed him with all the passion i had. He slammed inside me, harder and harder each time. I moaned so loud i feared the whole castle could hear me! He moaned and groaned right along with me.

He thrusted one long last thrust and i could feel his warm hot seed spill inside me. We were both out of breath. He laid his head down on my breasts. I felt happy. I felt whole. This was what true love was supposed to feel like. This was how a man and woman made love. I was so weak and tired. I didnt want to move for hours but i knew we didnt have hours. I pushed him and he moved off of me. I managed to roll over and off the bed. I picked my discarded nightgown off the floor and put it on. Jace was struggling into his own clothes. I laughed. He laughed too and i could see the love in his eyes. This was meant to be.

I looked at the sheet in dismay. It was covered in blood. I had now lost my purity. I balled it up and went to the fireplace. I threw it in without a thought of regret. I had given myself to the man i loved. If anyone can condemn me for that, then so be it.

I went back over to Jace and put my arms around him. I leaned up and kissed him. He tightened his grip around me. I could feel his cock harden against my thigh. I didnt have the energy to do it again. And we didnt have the time.

"Next time my love, you must get going. I cant bear the thought of someone finding you where your not supposed to be. Til next time..." i said giving him one long last kiss. He pulled away and looked at me. I could see thousands of emotions running through those eyes. I could gaze into them forever.

He went to the window and climbed back down to the ground. I watched him as he walked away. His form fading into the night. I had never felt this good. I had never felt this alive. Even though he was just here, i missed him just the same. I ran a hand over my body. My body was claimed now. It would not go to Alec. It would not be claimed by Jonathan. It now belonged to Jace.

I smiled and laid carefully in the bed. I was sore in places i had never been before. I had always imagined what love making felt like, but nobody had told me it would be so fantastic. I had never known the pleasure of a man. My body was sensitive to the touch. It wanted more of a mans touch. It would get it. I laid back and i was so tired. My body needed time to recuperate. I closed my eyes and dreamed of my golden haired beauty. He was the last thought i had for that night. I gradually drifted off into the land of dreams. Where Jace and i could be together, forever.


	10. Chapter 10

I woke up sore. But i had never felt so good. I managed to get out of bed. My lady parts ached in a nice way. It reminded me of what Jace and i had done. I slipped into a white dress. I was glad i didnt have to wear the corset with it. I brushed my hair and tried to get out all the tangles. I had slept in a peaceful manner but my hair always gathered knots.

When i was decent, i left my chambers. I walked slowly into the feasting hall for some breakfast. My father and Jonathan were already there. I sat beside my brother as calmly as i could. I put eggs and bacon onto my plate. They were discussing the Lightwood's importance in the match. I really didnt want to hear about it.

"Yes, he has his own castle upon Roberts death. He owns 200 head of cattle, and quite a few acres of land.'

"But what of his army? Could we call to him in need of soldiers?" my father asked picking apart a piece of toast with his fingers.

"They are quite superb, not as great as our command here, but a formidable amount. If need should arise, they would assist graciously."

I was busy trying to eat. I didnt want to hear any of this. Eventually my father got up and left the room. I watched him walk away with his cloak billowing behind him. He hadnt said a word to me that whole time. I was glad he hadnt.

Jonathan turned to me, "Why is our beauty looking so tired this morning? Had a rough night?"

"I didnt sleep very well." i said not looking at him.

"Well you know, i could always help with that, if only you'd let me." he murmured softly.

I stood up from the table abruptly, my food lay forgotten on the plate.

"I can do fine on my own, thanks."

I walked briskly from the room.

* * *

Jonathan leaned back and put his hands behind his head. Could it be true? Had my sister finally done it? He had to keep an eye on her. He summoned his most trusted spy. The man was small and slight and easily blended in. He was a man most unnoticed in the castle. That was why Jonathan had selected him. He obeyed every command that Jonathan gave him.

"Any news." he said softly.

"A few things to report my lord. The fairy boy and the mage meet almost every night in secret. I have heard groans and moans from behind the door. It is most certain that they have fornicated more than once."

"And the man?"

"He is a measly stable boy down in the fields. I will be keeping an eye out for him as well. His name appears to be Jace Wayland sire. He is of common stock and variety." his spy announced.

Things were all coming together. Alls he had now to do was wait for his sister to make a mistake. He had to be certain before he made his move. A mistake now could be disasterous. He motioned for his spy to depart. The man bowed deep and then took leave. Jonathan took a piece of bacon and brought it to his lips. He chewed thoughtfully.

This castle was his. This Legacy was his. He couldnt let his sister be married off to some filth. Especially a gay filth. He had to stop this marriage if it was the last thing he did. He smiled, his black coal eyes betrayed no emotion. He would have his way, one way or the other.

* * *

Alec was laying in bed. His arm was wrapped around the body of Magnus, the castles healer. Alec loved the mans off white skin. He trailed his fingers down it softly. Magnus woke up to his touch.

"Morning." Magnus said, shaking sleep from his eyes.

"Morning my dear."

Alec kissed him softly on the lips. He had never known a man like this before. He was almost in love. He knew that Magnus and him would never be accepted, but he could still dream. He snuggled closer and put his head on Magnus's chest.

"I dont know what to do." Alec said miserably.

"About?"

"Us. We can never be together. My parent would shun me and i would lose everything to my name. I have to marry that Clary girl and i have no feelings for her at all. I have feelings for you." Alec said bitterly.

"We both knew that it would have to end. Even though i dont want it to either. But you have to do your duty to your parents and i have to do mine to the castle." Magnus said softly.

"But i dont want too! I want you! I am a royal and i am a man. I should be able to chose who i want to sleep with and be with!" Alec cried out. His anger was slowly rising. Talk of the marriage always riled him. He shook the feelings away as best as he could. But he had no desire to be with that little girl.

He wanted this, he wanted Magnus. He loved his lean body. He loved the way Magnus laughed. He loved everything about this man since he first laid eyes upon him. Why did things have to be so hard?

His parents had forced him into being the suitor for the Morgenstern princess. They knew he was skilled and trained for battle. They knew he would win. They also knew that Alec was not like other men. They didnt know his secret, but his sister did. His sister had been a little unsettled over it, but had promised to keep it a secret.

It wasnt his fault. He just had never felt desire for another woman. He had instead spent his time in the training yard watching and fighting the other boys. He loved their strong muscled bodies. He loved when they smiled. A woman did nothing that a man did. She was a pretty statue that walked where she was bid. He wanted a man. He wanted someone to take control. He wanted someone like Magnus.

He dreaded to think what would happen if he was found out. His inheritance meant alot to him. Without it he was nothing better then a peasent down at the village. How could he survive without his inheritance? He would have to work hard everyday and never would be sure that he could make enough to eat that day. It would be a life of misery. He didnt want that.

But he wanted him. Thats why this was so hard. He couldnt imagine life without Magnus. Surely Clary herself didnt even want to marry me. So why couldnt we just break it off peacefully and go our seperate ways. But he knew better than that. The king would not take kindly to a suitor denying his daughter. Valentines named would be shunned to the whole world and the man had a fierce pride. He would be furious to discover that i had broke the marriage.

He sighed and leaned closer to Magnus. All of a sudden his chamber door was kicked in. He jumped off of bed ready to defend himself. To his and Magnus's surprise, Jonathan Morgenstern walked in. Jonathan surveyed the two laying in bed and smirked. Alec felt anger ready to brim over.

"Good morning Alec, Magnus."

"This is my private chambers, you have no right to be in here!" Alec hissed at the prince.

"Au contrair my little Alec. I have every reason to be here. What would my father think of this. Or better yet, your father." The prince said nonchalantly. He could tell the prince was messing with him. But what could he do? His secret was now out. Alec was saddened.

"What do you want Jonathan Morgenstern." Alec said softly.

"When the time comes you will stand with me. You can keep your inheritance and your lover, i really dont care. But you will not take my sister." The prince said darkly, his eyes burning into Alec's.

"Surely you know that Alec is in bed with me, so he surely doesnt want Clarissa" Magnus replied.

"I can see that healer. Clarissa has been in bed with someone else as well. I am sure of it." The prince said with his eyes turned back to Alec.

"Then i shall break off the marriage. My parents wouldnt let me marry a whore." Alec said happily. He could now break it off without serious injury to himself. He was glad the prince had kicked his door in. Jonathans eyes had turned dark at Alec's words.

"You shall do no such thing." Jonathan declared to the two men. "I am working on something else that suits us better. All will come in due time. Alls i ask is that you dont do anything stupid and wait for my signal. You shall know when it is to come."

Jonathan gave a scathing look to the two men and then turned heel and left. Alec had never felt happier. This was his chance! He wouldnt have to marry the princess after all. If she was unpure then his vows could be broken. His parents wanted this match, but they would never risk the reputation of a princess who sleeped around.

Magnus was still tense, "How do we know he will do as he says?"

"Its the best option we have so far. He clearly doesnt want this marriage anymore then i do."

Magnus turned his eyes to Alec's blue ones. Alec could see concern lingering there. "Dont worry Magnus, come here i have something to give you." Alec murmured, he was slipping his shirt off as he spoke. Magnus's eyes turned hungry as he gazed at his body. Things were going to be okay. Jonathan was handling it.


	11. Chapter 11

The rest of the day passed slowly for me. I couldnt seem to make the time go any faster. After the breakfast, i had done my usual duties of princess. I had instructed, gave advice, did whatever i could do to keep myself busy. I was restless. I wanted Jace around me. I missed him like he was another part of me. I couldnt take much more of this lifeless life. I needed him like i needed the air in my lungs.

I went from activity to activity with a heavy heart. I couldnt imagine my life without him. In just over a week i would be married to Alec. I didnt want that in the least. But what could i do? I could go to my father and tell him Alec's gay. But i doubt that would do anything. If Alec was still going to marry me then he wouldnt care what creatures Alec was into.

Even though i barely knew Alec i could still understand where he was coming from. I also was not a mean hearted person that i would go and destroy his life. My father was the reason for this, not the Lightwoods. I was at loss as to what to do. I couldnt marry Alec, yet i couldnt marry Jace. My father would simply never allow it. Yet i still hoped for a brighter option. I still had hope in my heart that me and Jace would be together forever.

What was i to do? I could run away with Jace but where would we go? The nearest town was miles from here. We would never make it before we were caught. Jace would surely get into serious trouble then. It was too risky. I just had to hope that maybe Alec would call it off and then i would be free. Free until another suitor came for my hand. Then i would have to figure out a way to get him off my back. It would be an endless cycle. I wouldnt be lucky enough a second time.

I was bitter. I hated the fact that i had to do things i didnt want to do! Why couldnt life be simple? Why couldnt love be simple. Jonathan was always breathing down my throat. My father wouldnt ever listen to me. What was i supposed to do?

Nothing. I had no choice, and besides i still had a little bit of time. I could still figure out a way to be with Jace. I still had time.

* * *

When night had fallen i had quickly made it back to my lodgings. I didnt know if Jace would be coming tonight or if he even could slip away. I had to be here just in case. I waited for a long time until i heard his voice from outside the window.

"Clary..." he whispered.

I ran to the window and looked down. Jace was standing illuminated in the moonlight. He looked so handsome that it hurt to look at him

"You came!" I cried happily.

"Yes, would you care to come sit in the grass with me?"

"How will i get back in?"

"I will boost you back through the window. Now please come down, i need you."

At those words i slid my legs over the windows ledge and crawled down. Jace was at the bottom to catch me. I landed in his strong arms. He looked down at me and i looked up. His eyes shimmered in this light. He bent his neck to kiss me softly. I kissed back eager. He instantly responded.

I wrapped my legs around him and he pressed me up against the castle walls. His kisses were burning like fire down my throat. His hands groped for me. He pushed my gown down to expose my left breast. His hand cupped them hard. I moaned softly against his lips. I could feel his cock hard pressed against my lady parts. I needed him now.

I shoved my hand between us to his trousers. I slid one hand down to cup his member in my hands. I stroked him as he sucked on my breast. His tongue flicked deliciously across my chest. He pushed down his pants with one hand while holding me in his other. My gown was hiked up to my waist. I could see he wanted me just as bad as i wanted him.

My lady parts were already wet and waiting. He gently pushed until he was all the way inside me. I moaned softly. He then began to thrust, gentle this time. I could feel hot desire deep in my groin. I kissed him harder and urged him to go faster. I loved the feel of him filling me.

He braced himself with one hand and began to thrust harder. He pounded my pussy with such fever that i hardly held onto him. His moans grew louder, as did mine. With every thrust i was driven closer and closer to the edge. I was now in a state of nirvana. I arched my hips to get him deeper inside. It would be over soon enough.

I cried out as my orgasm racked my body. My nerves alight with fire. I couldnt control the spasming in my hips and thighs. I had never know this to be like this. I was soaking wet and he still was not done.

He pressed me hard into the rock wall. He was still slamming into me with the same energy he had before.

"I cant...hold on much longer... your moans make it so hard..." he cried between thrusts.

"Cum inside me my love. Fill me." i moaned into his ear.

He had withstanding himself for too long. He thrust once more into me. I could feel his seed burst inside me. I clinged tighter to him as he tried to regain his breath. I kissed him lightly on the lips. We were both sweaty and tired.

He clung to me tightly. I was still pressed against the wall. His cock still deep inside me. We stayed like this for some time. Until our breaths had returned to normal, and our bodies as well. Then he gently tore himself from me. I shimmied my dress back down and he put his pants back up around his waist.

I looked at him in the moonlight and i felt as if this moment could last forever. I wanted it to last forever. I needed it to last forever. I went to him and hugged him close. His body pressed into mine. I didnt want to leave him. I didnt want to sleep alone. I broke from his grasp and kissed him one last time for the night.

"I hope to see you again soon, and maybe this time we will have time to talk." i said teasingly.

He smiled, "If it pleases you my lady."

He helped boost me back into the window. I could have climbed it like he had but didnt want to risk hurting myself. I laid down on my bed at peace. My body was sore last night, and now its more sore tonight. But i didnt care. It was worth it. I was so weak from the energy that had bursted from me that i didnt have a choice, i was asleep before i even knew it.

* * *

Jonathan paced in his chambers. His gaze was stern and angry. Where was his spy! Why hadnt he reported yet! He needed to know what was going on. All depended on his spies findings. So where in the bloody hell was the man?

He was about to give up and go search for the fool, when the fool finally arrived. He slid into the room without announcement. Jonathan didnt care.

"Well,what did you find!" he hissed angrily. The spy was used to his mean behavior and paid no mind.

"Sire, it is true. I caught her fucking the stable man outside her bedroom window."

"You sure?"

"Yes, i saw them with my own eyes. He had her pressed against the wall fucking her so hard that even i could hear them from a mile back." the spy said nonchalantly.

Jonathan's anger threatened to blow over.

"That is all, you are dismissed." he said coldly.

When the spy had gone, Jonathan couldnt keep his anger at bay. He had knew it all along that his sister was a no good whore. That stable man should never have laid his hand on her. If he had anything to do with it, the mans hands would be removed.

How dare he touch her. How dare Jace know her in a way that he couldnt. He was royal! He was heir to the castle. If anyone should get Clarissa's sweet cunt it should be him.

Another part of him was happy at the news. He had great plans and pretty soon they would come into action. Then he would see who her cunt really favored. Then he would see how loud she screamed.

* * *

 **Authors note: If anyone is interested in the next chapter, just let me know! I will be writing more if i feel its worth it. So dont let me down :D Thanks for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

In the next few days i remained content. I spent almost every night with Jace. Sometimes we stayed in my chambers, and others we ventured onto the grass. Sometimes we spoke, and sometimes we enjoyed each other. It was a fair share of both. I was as happy as i could ever be. Me and Jace shared many stories of our life. We joked and teased each other like we had known each other forever. And after some time, i genuinely felt that way.

I learned more and more as time went on. I learned that he had a little sister and a brother of young age. I knew that his father was a kind and noble man. I asked him what his father thought when he moved to the castle, to which he replied.

"My father has always listened to me. He has always supported me no matter what decision i make. I told him that i had met you. I told him that i planned to keep seeing you. He said that i was foolish, but he also said i was very brave. To risk my life just to see you everyday is the bravest thing, he said. He knows my intentions, and he knows i mean well."

"Thats nice to hear. My father hasnt the time to listen to me, nor does he want to." i replied.

"Then that tis a shame" Jace said smiling. I got lost in his smile and nothing seemed to matter.

When it was a week and a half til the marriage, I was summoned to a feast with Alec's family. I nervously prepared with the help of a few maidservants. They dressed me in a fine grey dress and powdered me again with powder. My hair was left flowing past my shoulders. I looked like a regal princess. My father would have nothing less. He instructed them to make me as beautiful as they could manage. Alec's parents and i had not even met one another. This would be our formal meeting.

The wedding was scheduled in a around ten days. It was to be a marvelous occasion for all except me. I dreaded this event more than anything. I just wanted to be with Jace. I didnt know what choice i had in the matter. I did as i was bid. My father would punish me if i didnt.

When i was ready, i was escorted to a small feasting hall. It was set over in the residential wing of the castle. It was primarily used for royal or important visitors. I was to meet the family there. I was nervous. I was afraid that i would make a mistake. I hadnt met his family or even seen them. He had a mother, father, and a younger sister. They would all be present.

What was i to do? Could i act normal? I could try. I would have to pretend to be smitten with Alec to avoid suspicion. It would be a difficult task for both of us. I didnt enjoy pretending i had feelings that i didnt feel. But i had to do what i had to do. I must not arouse suspicion.

I entered the hall with a straight back. I kept my head held high. Alec was already there. He was set next to an empty seat. I curtsied to the family who gazed upon me.

"Hello, i am Princess Clarissa." i said courteously.

Alec stood up, "This is my father Prince Robert, my mother Maryse, and my sister Isabelle." He introduced and gestured to each one. His mother and father looked polite enough but his sister was giving me daggers in her eyes. Why did she not like me? She knew her brother was gay, so why was i to blame?

I nodded at each introduction, and went to give Alec a kiss on the cheek. He didnt back away or anything. He accepted the kiss, and we moved on to eat. I sat next to him and tried to appear the way a princess should. His mother Maryse broke the tension.

"What a beautiful girl, Alec. She shall give you many beautiful heirs."

"Yes, i agree mother. Her beauty is one of the best qualities she possesses" Alec replied looking to his mother, he was smiling but i could see he didnt mean it. His father then began to say, "I am eager for this match." I smiled and tried to appear eager as well.

"It has been a long time that i have waited to get Alec a good bride. The Morgenstern Legacy is nothing to be laughed at. It is a proud noble name that all over the realm are awed by its sound. I am proud to welcome you into our family Clarissa. May we all have many years of joy." He said in a joyful tone. He appeared genuinely excited over the match. His mother too, didnt seem to argue much with it. His sister though was another story.

Maryse engaged Alec, and Robert joined in with the chatter. I was at relief to eat in silence. His sister leaned closer.

"I dont want my brother with you. We both know he wont ever be happy." she hissed softly. I looked into her black eyes and looked away. I had no answer for her. She appeared puzzled by my silence.

"Didnt you hear me? Or dont you care?"

"I have nothing to say."

"Then dont marry him!" She still was hissing her words. It was hard for me to hear her which was her intention. She didnt want her parents overhearing.

"We have to." i said just as soft as she did.

"You dont have to do anything! Call it off or you will regret it. Our whole family will hate you once they know you married him for no reason."

I tried to keep my composure. She was a younger girl, of about 15. I couldnt slap her in her smart mouth like i wanted too. She knew nothing about the situation. And yet she blamed me. Maybe Alec would hate me, but i couldnt disobey my father. I was scared just thinking about it.

"My father would be pleased to know that threats are already being made against his daughter." I said smug. Her eyes went fearful. Ah! She did know the terror that was my father. Even she was scared of him. I turned my eyes away from her and continued to eat off my plate. I wanted this dinner to be over with. His parents were alright, but that sister was a brat.

After some time, his parents called it quits. They wanted to retire to their chamber for the night. I didnt blame them. Alec remained the dutiful betrothal and walked me out. He stood with his arms crossed once the door was shut.

"Your display of etiquette could use some improvement." he said coldly.

"My display? What about your sisters? Hissing at me like that all through dinner. It took all my strength not to slap her cheek."

"My sister had twice the amount of decency you posses!"

"Decency? How is that so. Hissing at her betrothal at her family dinner? How is that ladylike?" i asked.

"Your as stupid as you are vain. If you opened your eyes, i gather you would see a lot better." he declared. He turned and went back into the hall. I was angrily still by the door. How dare he talk to me like that. How dare he say his sister was composed of more decency than me. I was more than a woman then she was. I was mad the whole time i walked back to my chambers.

I opened the door and ran into my brother.

"What were you doing inside my chamber? i cried angrily.

His ice cold glare made my shiver involuntarily. "I came to see you."

"But you were inside my room!"

"I was checking to see if maybe you had fallen asleep somewhere awkward. Like on the floor, or perhaps by the chamber pot..."

I pushed past him and went to close the door behind me. He put his hand to stop me.

"I told you i came to see you." he said with no warmth in his gaze. What could he possibly want now? Jace would be along any minute or so. I decided to get it over with as quick as possible. I stopped trying to shut the door and instead turned to sit at my vanity table. I picked up a brush and acted busy with brushing my hair.

He stood behind me, i could see him in the mirror. I acted as if he wasnt even there. I wasnt happy marrying Alec, but at least then i would be away from Jonathan! I didnt even look at him. He stood behind me watching me brush my hair. I could see his eyes moving with my brush strokes. I acted indifferent to his presence. At last, he spoke.

"How are you and Alec."

"Fine, thanks."

"Thats good to hear, i was a little worried that he might be a little...weird. Its just a feeling i get when i am around him. Do you get such feelings?"

"No...I dont know what your talking about." I didnt waver my pace, i brushed my hair normally. I avoided his gaze on purpose. I didnt want to see those coal black pits from hell.

"Ah, the i fear that it is only me. Are you excited over the match?"

"Im excited as i will ever be." i replied coyly.

He smirked, "You dont seem half as excited as you should be."

"Oh i am." i curtly replied.

"Its funny but i thought you'd be more nervous, or excited. I will never forget the first time i had a woman. But maybe it is only men who feel such things."

His gaze was on mine fiercely. What was he trying to learn? What was the point in this endless drabble? I didnt anwer him. No proper lady talked of such things, especially not to their kin. I just brushed as i had been brushing.

I could tell i was angering him. Good thing that i didnt care. His face now betrayed emotions. I could see anger coming on thick. He was mad at me. But i could care less. When he saw that he wasnt getting a rise out of me, he left the room in a huff.

I waited until i was sure he was gone, and then i stopped brushing. Why was everyone acting so hostile toward me? Alec usually acted indifferent, but today he acted rude. Jonathan was just a prick by nature. I resolved to not think of these thoughts anymore for the night, Jace was coming.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Jonathan**_

I left my sisters room before i did something i regretted. She irked me by not answering me. Every woman should know their place! I was not a common man, i was Jonathan Morgenstern, heir to the Morgenstern castle. What woman would not want me? I was handsome, smart, and everything a woman would need.

I remembered the first barmaid i seduced. She had been a tiny thing with huge breasts. I had been just 16 years old. She was worried that i would compromise her virtue. It took me a few weeks to convince her to lay with me. I had the bitch squeeling for more afterwards. She had loved my cock and what it had done to her. It took me some time convincing her that it was just a lay. I was not interested in her in the slightest. She was just a means to and end.

The last time i had seen her, she was standing so deifant screaming that i was nothing more than a scoundrel. I had her tongue removed for that.

But why didnt my sister yearn for me? Thats what i never understood. My sister was the only woman to deny me. Maybe that was why i burned for her in a way i have never burned before. I would have her, mark my words, i would.

I walked slowly toward the antechamber. I had plenty of time. I leaned up against the wall, hidden from view and watched my father. He was being diplomatic and showing Robert Lightwood around the castle. Bah, the Lightwoods were nothing but hungry vultures. They were trying to marry off their gay son to a nice bit of riches and a boost in reputation. They cared nothing for the Morgensterns except by name. But that was the way of the world.

I remembered when my father had come to me about marriage.

"Jonathan your 19 years, you must find a wife soon. I can find you many suitable brides." my father rambled on. This was before Clary was even fit to marry. I was now 21 and had never seen a potential bride. My father brought the issue up every so often. I always said that there wasnt any girl with any name that i wanted. And i didnt.

But i was a harsh man, just like my father. He tried to threaten me and i threatened right back. I was the only heir to the throne he had. If he disinherited me, the Morgenstern name would fall. One of the lesser royals would fight over who was King of the realm. My father would die rather than see that happen. I was free to do what i wanted.

My father never knew that the woman i wanted wasnt ready yet. I watched her grow up, waiting for my moment. But my sister never accepted my advances. She rebuked me at every chance she got. It made my blood boil. She was now a woman fit to wed and my father chose her the Lightwood man. Good thing he was gay, or else bad things would happen, bad accidental things...

How i had hated watching those suitors fight for her hand! I was almost mad enough to go down myself and finish them off! My sister had watched Alec eagerly that day. Now she was not so eager. Maybe she too knew the secret of the Lightwood boy. I smiled at the thought. My sister had always been a soft quiet creature. She was so soft that i couldnt resist the urge to give her something hard.

My cock stiffened slightly in my pants. If it were up to me, i would go fuck her now. But i couldnt risk her running to father saying i raped her. I didnt care about the rape, but i did care that Alec would have a reason to break the match. Everyone would think that i had done it so on purpose and i didnt want any slight to my name. I was to be King some day.

My sister was supposed to be chaste. My spy had identified her and Jace on the castle walls. She was taking him back there and being sinful. I wanted to wrap my pale fingers around his throat. Watch him as he slowly lost his life. That would be almost as erotic as my sisters sweet cunt. I shook those feelings away. I had to be alert. I would call in a maidservant later to take care of my needs.

I watched my father lead Robert away into the next room. Now was my chance. I slipped out of the main gate and went onto the grounds. Tonight i would see with my own eyes. If my spy was lying, he would pay dearly. I walked slowly, casually. I would have all the time in the world to see what my dear sister was up too.

I at last managed to creep silently over to the east wall. I sticked to the walls, trying to hide in any available cover. I didnt want her to see me. I didnt want her to stop in her evil sinful ways. But i didnt blame her, i blamed that pig from the village. He had easily seduced my innocent sister with his good looks. Hadnt i once done the same? But at least i was of the royal blood.

When i started to get closer, i finally heard it. I heard my sisters soft sweet moans. I could tell it was her, i was never more attuned to anyone like i was my sister. I slowly moved up, i needed to confirm with my own eyes. I let my eyes adjust to the light and i seen all i needed to see.

Jace was laying on his back. His hands visible on my sisters waist. She was grinding on his body with such slow soft movements that i began to harden again. Damn her! I should be the one underneath her! I should be the one suckling on those teats. My anger threatened to spill over. I took a deep breath and kept watch.

Jace gripped her waist hard, i could see his fingers digging into her soft flesh. He was helping her grind against him. She was now moaning hard. Her cries deep pitched and so incredibly hot that it was hard not to bust, i'd imagine. I watched them enjoy each others pleasure. I was angry but i couldnt let this ruin my chance. Let her enjoy her stable boy for a while longer, i would strike when i was ready.

I backed away. As i was walking away, i heard the soft cry of Jace through the trees. He had finally busted inside his sweet sisters wet cunt. My anger came at me fast. Someday i would have my Queen, someday soon. But for now let her enjoy that stable boys shaft for just a little longer. The revenge would be just the sweeter.

My cock was throbbing by the time i made it to my room. I signaled for a guard to come closer. "Find me Irrina, now!" i commanded, the guard departed at once. All the guards knew of the Morgenstern wrath. I went to my chambers and stripped down. My cock was rock hard and i needed release. That bastard better find Irrina quickly or i'll be happy loosening his own arse.

After a few short agonizing minutes, Irrina entered the room. I went to her. Her eyes were fearful but quickly relaxed as she realized what i wanted, what i needed. She went to her knees instantly and took me into her mouth. I loved the soft wetness between those lips. She sucked my cock til i couldnt take it anymore. I grabbed her and threw her on the bed.

Her dress was then ripped off her, i exposed all over her naked body. I looked at her big breasts, i looked at the crop of hair between her legs. I looked at it all. And by damn was i angry that the hair was brown and not red.

I had no time for pleasantries. I put her on her knees and bent her over. Her pussy widely displayed for me to see. I wasnt a slow kinda guy. I pushed inside her forcibly. She cried out in pain. Good.

I slammed my shaft inside her wet pussy. She was nothing better than a whore, but she would suit my purpose. I fucked her hard. Her face was smashed into the bed, my hands left marks along her back. She knew of my love making, she had had it before. When i was about to bust i turned her over. I gripped a nipple between my teeth and bit down hard. She cried out in pain once again. But she would never dare tell me to stop. I was still slamming my cock deep inside her. She knew my ritual. I wrapped my pale fingers around her throat. I was angry and i would seek out release. I wrapped tighter as i thrust harder. Her face was turning blue.

I could kill her, if i so pleased. I could strangle her as i fucked her. Nobody would dare chastise me for doing so. I was allowed to do as i pleased. I could kill her and then fuck her til i came. But then who would replace her? I loosened my grip on her neck. She breathed in a burst of air. Her face returning back to normal. I could see in her eyes that she, for a moment, feared for her life. But i would miss the way she accepted my pain.

When she was not about to die before my eyes, i wrapped my hands back around her slim neck. She knew by my thrusts that i was ready to cum. I pulled out, and thrusted deep and hard. I watched her face as the life was dragging away from her. It would be over soon.

I dug my fingernails hard into the soft flesh of her neck. My seed bursted from me with such force that i let go and arched my back in pleasure. She had satisfied me well tonight, maybe because i had seen the object i most desired in action. I rolled away from her and gestured for her to go. She picked up her ripped dress and gave me one last curtsy. I loved seeing the bruises forming on her neck.

I laid in bed completely relaxed. At least one good thing had come out of this fated night. I had busted so hard into that girl and it wasnt because of her. I wanted my sister, i always have. Every since she was a teen i had fantasized about her. I always imagined my fingers entwined in that lovely red hair. Her lips open ready to receive me with her mouth. I had never felt this way about another woman. I would have my sister, or i would have no one at all.

She had always been my object of fascination. She would always be the one to dominate my mind. Her innocent face was all i had needed to form an attachment. She was beautiful. She had always been. I had wanted her even when she was younger. But i had controlled myself. I knew that my day would come. I knew that someday soon i would have her. That day was approaching fast and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

Pretty soon her world will shatter, and then nothing will set it right. She will belong to me. I will do whatever it takes. I will kill as many men as it takes. I will take her and make her mine! She would always be mine. We were tied together as siblings, and we were tied together in blood. Clarissa Morgenstern would never escape me, no matter how far she tried to run.

* * *

 **Authors note: I update at least twice a day, if not more. Do not always believe the site, lol. Keep your eye out and enjoy! I love reading the reviews of my lovely fans! Thanks for the support.**


	14. Chapter 14

I remained in a state of bliss. I was getting closer and closer to Jace. I was happy that i had met him. It was unfair that i couldnt freely be with him just because he was common. If im a princess i should be able to do what i like. Why is it that my brother never married and hes way over the age. My father lets him do whatever he likes. Meanwhile i have to obey every word. How was i going to fix this?

I needed a way where me and Jace could still be together. I was to marry Alec in a week. If i didnt figure something out by then than all was lost. I didnt want to say good bye to Jace forever. I wanted to hold him and love him for the rest of my life. What was i to do? I couldnt break off the match, and i couldnt run away. But what if i took him with me? Alec could give me him as a gift. A stable boy wasnt worth much, my father would honor that. But how do i get Alec to agree?

I decided i would go see him. I would kindly ask what he was planning to do with Magnus. Maybe i would just bring Jace along as my own servant of sorts. He was strong and he could do heavy work. Maybe Alec wouldnt have to know. I dressed in a simple wool dress and put my hair up. I left my chamber in a hurry. I had to figure this out! Jace and i depended on it.

I went to Alec's chamber door and knocked. I got no reponse. Maybe he wasnt in there? It was a little before noon, where could he be? I searched the castle for him but couldnt find him. Where in gods name was this man!

I looked in the kitchen, the servants quarters, the residential wing, i couldnt find him anywhere. I was about to give up hope when i seen him come out of the feasting hall. I quickly grabbed his arm, "I need to talk to you." He looked pained as if he didnt want to, but he allowed me to lead him away. I took him outside and into the sun. I made my way for a the castle walls where i was assured that no one would hear us. I let go of his arm and turned to face him.

"How are you going to keep Magnus?" i asked.

"Thats none of your business." he declared looking around. I could see no one so i didnt bother.

"It is my business as your bride. How is that fair that i'll be all alone and you'll be in the arms of another man."

"It is what it is Clarissa. That is the only choice you have." he said not looking at me.

"But what if i found someone?"

His eyes turned angry, "You wont be able too."

"But why not? You have someone special for you, i want someone special for me." i cried.

"It doesnt work like that. People will notice me and Magnus around each other and think nothing of it. We are both men, and he is a healer of royal status. If my servants saw you running around with some man, they would instantly become suspicious. A man and woman are together for only one thing."

"But i dont care what your servants think!"

"Than you should! Rumors would start and then i'd have no choice but to punish the man you chose. And do you know what the penalty is? The penalty for even laying a finger on a princess when shes claimed? Or if the man in question is nothing more than a comman man?"

My eyes lowered, "Death..."

"Exactly! And what do you think my people would have me do with you? A bride of low inhibititions and no restraint? The penalty would be bad for you as well." he said in a flurry of anger. I could see this was getting no where.

"So your saying that you can mess around with who ever you like, and i must remain chaste and virtous."

"Yes, that is what a princess does." he hissed back. Why was he so angry with me? I hadnt dont anything wrong to him?

"But thats not fair!" i wailed.

"Life isnt fair, you best get used to it. Our wedding is in just a few days. I'd remember that if i were you." He gave me one last long glaring look and then turned to walk back to the castle.

I watched him go with a heavy heart. My plan had turned to ashes and blown to the wind. What Alec was saying was true. Everyone would notice the princess bride around some man. Alec could go unnoticed because he was a man and he was royal. But i was to be the only one to suffer. It just wasnt fair!

Tears began to brim in my eyes. I let them fall silently down my cheeks. What was i supposed to do! I couldnt bring him to his death, i couldnt marry him, i couldnt do anything. It was almost as if fate was trying to drive us apart.

But why would it? Our love was real and fearless. I loved him with all of my being, and he loved me. We had felt real feelings since that day in the grass. How could anyway say that it was wrong? How could anyone say that i was living in sin? I loved Jace Wayland. It was as simple as that. I didnt want anyone but him. But i also had to see the sense in Alec's words.

If his servants spread the word that i was sleeping around, Alec would have to kill him. And after seeing him in battle, i doubted he would be merciful. No matter what i couldnt change fate. Jace was born of common variety. He would never become royal. I was a princess and could never become low born. Unless my father would let me go, but i doubted that he would.

My father would rather see me dead, than marry a low born. He would probably do the honors himself. Either way i looked at it, we were both dead. Because if Jace died, then i died. If i died, then Jace died. There was no easy way out of this. Every path we took would be filled with danger and complication. But it was worth it!

I couldnt imagine a life without him. I couldnt wake up each day knowing that he wasnt in this world. His death would surely leave me with no will to live. I didnt even want to think about it! There had to be a way! I just had to figure out what it was. I only had a couple more days and then the marriage would be upon me.

If i didnt find a way before then, then i would be carted off to the Lightwood castle, never to see Jace again.

* * *

 _ **Later that night...**_

I acted as best as i could through out dinner. I could not be happy no matter what. I was sick with worry. I sat beside my brother and ate with no relish. I didnt want to eat, i wanted to crawl into bed and not get up again. I picked at my food slowly. My brother was watching me but i paid him no mind.

My father was busy talking to Jonathan but my brother had his eyes on me. What was he always doing staring at me. Why couldnt i have a normal family. Would things be different if my mother was still alive? Maybe then she would let me marry a man that i loved. She would be nice and kind and persuade my father to let me. But all those hopes had died with her. My mother was just a skeleton in the ground. She could not help me.

"Whats wrong Clary? Not feeling well?" my brother asked. I didnt even look up from my plate.

"Well you better get better. Your wedding is in just a few days! We cant have you sick at the alter!" My father yelled, he had heard my brother speak to me. I didnt reply to any of the said words. I didnt want to speak to them. They were both monsters.

"You should be grateful that match i provided for you! Alec is a noble man of noble name. Any princess would be overjoyed for such a match. But yet i see you moping around like this. What is the meaning of this!" My father cried, i didnt answer.

"Answer me Clary!" He yelled, slamming his fists on the table.

I looked up, "It must be just something i ate. Im fine father. I will be ready for the marriage when it arrives."

My father calmed a little at those words. "You best be. We need this alliance. It will be a good thing for the castle and the realm."

I could care less about the stupid realm. The realm was the reason why Jace and i couldnt be together. If there were no laws stating that a royal and a low born couldnt marry then i wouldnt even be here! I would run off with Jace and that would be the end of it. But my father would never allow me to escape. He would follow me to the ends of the Earth. I was utterly helpless.

I returned to my dinner silently. My father continued on with his story to Jonathan. My brother acted as civil as usual but i could tell his mind was on other things. I had had enough for the day. I excused myself as politely as i could and left for my chamber. I wanted to be alone.

I walked slowly back. Jace would be coming shortly and he would notice that i was upset. What would i tell him? That there was no hope for us? That our love was doomed the day it began? I was depressed over today. Things just didnt ever work the way you wanted them too. I made it to my chamber door and entered. I sat on my bed with my head in my hands. I was waiting for Jace.

It took some time before i heard his voice calling me from the window. I went over and crawled out like i did a hundred times. I lowered myself gently to the ground. Jace was standing there, so beautiful that my heart broke. He ran to kiss me, i broke apart. His eyebrows arched and i took his hand.

I walked him away from the wall and sat down in the grass. The night was helping us hide ourselves but i didnt want anyone coming into my room and overhearing us. His eyes were worried as he sat beside me.

"Whats wrong my lady?" he asked. He took my hand in his.

"I dont know what to do."

"About what?"

"Us."

He looked off into the shadows. I could tell this topic made him upset as well.

"I will be married in a couple days Jace, and i can not take you with me."

"Why not? I can come along as your servant or something."

"But if you do, then that is all you will be. If Alec's servants see us together they could report back to Alec. And if the whole castle knew then Alec would have to take action."

"But Alec is off seeing that healer man isnt he? If he is untrue to you, then why cant you be untrue to him?" He asked, i had told him about my matchs leniency towards the same sex.

"He is a man. Things work differently for the men. He can go see Magnus every day all day, and no one will think the wiser. But if im seen with you, then questions will be asked. And i do not want anything happening to you." i said softly.

His eyes met mine and i could see grief outlined inside them. I didnt know what else to do. There was no way.

"But i love you Clary, surely there is a way."

"There isnt one that i could think of. In a few days i will be gone, and then you'll have to go on as you once did."

"But i cant! I dont want too! I need you, like i'v never needed someone before!" he cried, his eyes holding so much emotion. I dropped his hand and stood up.

"This is the best way Jace, we do not belong in this world. But i do love you, always remember that." I gave him one long last sweet kiss and then i turned my back on him. I walked back to my window with tears streaming down my face. I had never felt this much despair in my life. My heart was breaking in two, and there was nothing i could do about it.


	15. Chapter 15

Every new day i woke up with crusty eyes. I cried myself to sleep most nights. I couldnt handle the loss of Jace. I just didnt want him do die because of me. If anyone found out, i dreaded to think what would happen to him. I had to suffer so he could live. That was the only way. I couldnt bare the thought of my fathers wrath. He would be a unstoppable force. I had to break it off, even though my heart still yearned for him.

It was now only four days til the wedding. I was awoken early by the tailors who had come to take my measurements, that was yesterday. Today they woke me up with urgency. They needed to see if the dress fit. It was a long beautiful dress. It had diamonds sown into the fabric. It shimmered in the morning sun that glinted from my window. I ran my fingers down its smooth fabric.

The tailors waisted no time. They undressed me quickly. They shoved me into a tight corset and pulled close the strings. Then they shoved the dress over my head and tightened those strings. My breasts were pushed so far up that they looked bigger than they ever did! A blush creeped across my cheeks.

They went around making final measurements. I stood still and didnt say a word. I had no words to say to these people. I hated this dress no matter how beautiful. They carried on with their work and i day dreamed.

I didnt want this marriage. I didnt want to be princess! I wanted to be normal. I hated my life. I couldnt imagine living the rest of my days next to a man who cared nothing for me. But that was to be my reality. I was to suffer until the day i died. I would never know the grace of marriage. I would only know suffering. I was sad to say good bye to Jace but it had to be done. There was nothing else i could have done. My life was apparently destined for other things. I would suffer for the rest of my life.

I tried to keep those thoughts away. I couldnt let others see me so down. They might become suspicious as to why. Though my father knew that i was unhappy, he dictated for me to not be. I tried to stay to my chamber but i was always summoned out. The day before yesterday, my father wanted a meeting with me and Alec. It had been a fiasco. My father had screamed at me afterwards.

"How can you act like this in front of him? I swear to god Clary that if he doesnt marry you, i dont know what i will do! You know how sometimes i cant control my anger! So you best do you duty and do what i tell you!" He had screamed at me, and inch from my face. Spit had flew from his mouth onto my face. I didnt dare wipe it away.

My father had been mad because i had acted so indifferent to their conversations. I only answered in one word sentences. Alec was, as usual, the perfect host. He was happier than i had ever seen him. I was instantly jealous. He could have the life he wanted, i would never. He was being as sinful as i was, yet nobody seemed to care. It wasnt fair! But today was a new day, and all that was forgotten.

But back to the present, the tailors were not taking the dress off of me. They had a few final measurements before the wedding. I could care less. They dressed me back up and away they went with the dress. I didnt see it as a dress, i saw it more as chains. When i put that on, i would be nothing better than a prisoner.

I tried to remain content with myself, but i found that i could not do it. I went around the castle with no whit about me. I paraded through dinner as though i was a member of the living dead. Nobody questioned to hard into my behavior. My family knew my unhappiness for this match. The only one who was always smiling was my brother.

What did he have to be happy about? He strutted around the castle like he owned the place. Why would my match matter to him in the slightest? It had nothing to do with him. I tried my best to ignore his actions the best i could. I had other things on my mind.

I hadnt seen Jace since that fateful night a few days ago. He had listened to my word and stayed away. I missed him with every breath. But what was i to do? I needed him more than he realized, but i couldnt endanger his life. I needed him alive. I couldnt go on in my misery if something ill had befallen him. I needed hope that he was somewhere alive, happy and well.

I bit back a cry that had threatened to escape. I couldnt let them see. I went through breakfast with no emotion. I watched my family eat with relish. I couldnt eat, i moved things around on my plate in the appearance of eating. My brother was actually not staring at me this time. I left them to their mindless chatter.

When the meal was over, i went onto the grounds. I could feel no warmth in the sun overhead. I was in a deep dark place with no return. I walked slowly to the pleasure gardens. The sight of the roses almost made me weep. I couldnt even look at the bush that had held our secret. I couldnt even think about him without crying a river. I was so sad.

I sat beside the rose bush. This was my favorite place in the castle and now it was nothing but a memory. I grasped a flower in my hand and crushed it. I watched the petals fall to the dirt. I feverishly grabbed at every rose i could and squashed them all to a pulp. I wanted them to die, as my own heart had died. When at last all the flowers had been ripped apart, did i sit still.

Thoughts bombarded me. And they were not nice thoughts, i wanted my father dead. Without him i could have Jace. My brother shouldnt care to much if i run away Yes he had a small thing for me, but i wasnt as scared of him as i was my father. I could run and never look back with Jace at my side. I could live out the rest of my days in happiness rather than depression. But i knew my father wasnt going to die anytime soon.

What was i to do? I had no choice but to obey. These were my last few days as Clarissa. After the wedding i would be nothing but a name. Jace would move on, he would start a family. He would have cherub children. While i was alone in some castle. I was jealous at the thought of Jace moving on, but i wanted him to be happy.

Thats what love was. Love was doing everything you could for them, even if it meant hurting yourself. He could have a life. Here with me, he would know only death. I should have remembered my place when i met him. I shouldnt have allowed myself to love him. Because now he was in this web of lies no matter how hard i tried to get him out of it. He was stuck as i was.

I was just glad that i had stopped it before it was too late. I couldnt bare the thought that he would be punished for my wild fantasys. I loved him, more than i ever loved anyone. And i had lost him.

* * *

 _ **Alec**_

I was delicately picking a piece of toast apart. The butter clung to my fingers. I took a small bite and put it down. I had too much on my mind. This morning tailors had come for my suit measurements. Where was Jonathans plan? Why hadnt he done anything about it? I needed this marriage ended. I was tired of her little girl whining. I was to take Magnus back with me when i left. No one would question my action.

I had never imagined that i would find Magnus here! It was a stroke of luck. I had never felt this way about another man. I had an instant connection with him and he felt the same! It was as if i was destined to come to the Morgenstern castle. I had found the love of my life. Now i just had to make sure i kept him. I didnt want to lose Magnus because of some girls petty jealousy. Magnus could die just as easily as her Jace. My father still had more power than i did. One word about Magnus, and he would be put on the block. I didnt want to see my love beheaded because of some brat! I had to figure this out once and for all.

I needed that girl out of my life! She would only complicate matters. I didnt want to kill her if she remained unloyal. I didnt feel anything for her, but i still didnt want her dead. She wanted freedom, but she was to get none. I was happy, more than ever, that i had been born a man. I was free to do as i wanted, whenever i wanted. It must be a sorry affair to be born a girl. She had surprising not told anyone about Magnus, for which i was grateful.

I kept my eyes down on my plate. I was the only one in the feasting hall. Everyone else had already left by the time i got here. Magnus would be waiting for me, i didnt want to sit around and eat all day. I got up and brushed my hands on a cloth. I couldnt go to Magnus with buttery fingers!

I walked confidently from the room. I was a happy man. I was to get all i ever wanted and more. Even if i married the brat, i would only have to get her with child once, and then i could drop her entirely. Once a heir was born, i would have no need for her. I could live my life with Magnus. I didnt want to marry her, and the idea of mating with her made me ill. But i would do what i had to do. It would make my relationship with Magnus more obtainable. Nobody would believe my tendencies when they seen her heavy with child.

I finally made it to my chamber. I opened the door and stepped inside.

"Are you here my love?" i asked.

"Yes but im not too sure that im your love." a voice answered.

Jonathan stepped out from the shadows.

"What do you want now?" i declared.

"I wanted to speak with you." Jonathan said, sitting down on my bed. I stood as far away as possible. This man made my skin crawl.

"About what i persay?"

"What you must do." he said softly. He told me his plan as deftly as he could. I had to agree that i was impressed. This man was not to be trifled with. He was as cunning as he was beautiful. Yes, Jonathan Morgenstern was beautiful. His hair was a delicate shade of whitish blonde, and his eyes were dark as coal. I preferred a different color combination, but he was still pretty nonetheless.

"Why do you want her so bad?" i asked after he was done. His eyes glazed over. I could see a wistful look in his eyes. It was over quick enough as the coldness seeped back in. This man was deadly.

"She is mine, its as simple as that. Now remember what i told you. I would be sorry to hear that your part was not carried out. We wouldnt want the castle knowing the real reason behind Clarys husband not wanting her, now would we?" he hissed under his breath. I had to admit that i was scared of this man.

"Of course, i will do my part as intended." i declared. Jonathan smiled his dark twisted smile. I hid the urge to look away. His eyes sometimes scared me. They were so inhuman. It was almost as if you were staring into the Devil's own eyes.

He nodded and left my chamber. I breathed a sigh of relied. Things were coming along now as planned. Pretty soon Clary wouldnt be my match. I felt sorry for the poor girl just then. I would feel sorry for any girl that Jonathan set his eyes upon. His eyes were dark and cruel. I couldnt imagine ever being with a man like that. Beauty was beauty, but the inside mattered most. And the inside of Jonathan Morgenstern was rotten, as rotten as anyone could be. I felt sorry for the girl, but that was none of my business. I had other matters to worry about.


	16. Chapter 16

I made it through the next two days without incident. I now had only two days before the wedding! I was irritable and stressed out. I hadnt thought of any new plans period. I was just as lost as i was days ago. There was no way out of this.

I got out of bed and got dressed. I wore just another simple dress. I didnt have the energy to wear anything nice. I tied my hair up in a bun. I didnt have the energy to do anything more. My life was just a hectic array of feelings.

I was distraught with grief. I missed Jace more than i ever imagined. I just wanted to see him one last time. But i couldnt risk his life. I would just have to remember him from memory. That would have to do. I morosely went to breakfast.

My father was already there, but Jonathan wasnt anywhere in sight. Good, i needed a nice quiet dinner without him staring. I sat beside my father. He looked at me once, and then continued on with his breakfast. My father was never really comfortable around me. He preferred my brother to me. He always had.

I piled some eggs on my plate and tried to eat. The food tasted like dirt in my mouth. I gave up after a few bites. My father didnt look at me as i left the room. He usually only spoke to me to yell or criticize. I left him to eat in peace.

I didnt want to do much of anything. I didnt want to see or hear or even think. I shambled around the castle with no intent or desire. Things were not going as i imagined. When i was a little girl i imagined nothing less than being married. I dreamed of my wedding most nights. I would be dressed in a fine dress. My groom would be the most handsome man around. All would come to celebrate our union.

But here i was, about to be married, and i wished i never would be. Its funny how your childish dreams can feel so real. But here in reality, things were startling different. I didnt want to be casted away into the unknown. I wanted to stay here. I wanted Jace. But what was i to do? I could call of the match but what would that solve? My father would be angry, and more suitors would come.

I walked aimlessly around. There was no real place that i wanted to go. There was no real place that i could go. All around me were the symbols of my chains. I didnt want to be the Morgenstern princess anymore. I wanted to be normal, with a normal life. I wanted things with all my heart, but that still didnt change a thing.

The whole castle was in a rush of activity. Things were being prepared now for the wedding. The food was brought in days before and packed with salt. Things were stored away for the dreadful night. Servants ran around cleaning and cleaning again. Everything was to be immaculate for the wedding night.

I should be excited, a bride should be happy. Instead i cursed the everyone in sight. The village people were excited because they would get free food and drink. My father was excited because he would get his allegiance. I was the only one that was miserable. I hated my father even more because of it.

What right did he have to sell me off as if i was nothing. How dare he presume to tell me that i knew nothing about love. I knew plenty! The fire that burned in me for Jace was proof of that. I just wished that he could see that. I hoped that wherever Jace was,he knew i loved him. His absence was felt dearly. It was almost like my heart had been ripped out. What was i to do?

* * *

 _ **Later that night.**_

I sat at the feasting hall table. Alec, his parents, and my family were all seated. I was trying to act normal but i fear i failed miserably. My family pretended not to notice, but Alec's sister glared at me. Alec's parent were engaging my father in conversation to which i was grateful. Alec was staring at his plate, and my brother was staring at him. Why?

I decided not to care, at least i wasnt the center of Jonathans attention tonight. I swirled my corn around on my plate.

"I am excited for the wedding." Maryse said looking at my father.

"Yes, Clarissa is a fine woman. She is delighted to take part in this union. It wasnt too long ago that i was married." My father replied.

"Yeah a hundred years ago." Robert lightly joked.

"I look good for an old man." Valentine chuckled.

"She looks just like her mother." Maryse said casting a glance down at me. I pretended not to notice.

"Yes she does, it was a sad day when Jocelyn was taken from us. But she is up in the heavens above watching down on us." Robert said wistfully. Yeah right, my mother was probably happier wherever she was.

"Yes it was, Jocelyn was a fine woman. I loved her from the first moment i put my eyes on her." My father said a little softly.

"I just wish that at their age that i knew what i knew now." Robert said lightly.

My father gave him a look, and then looked away. I knew that look. He thought Robert was an idiot. My father could act the part of a nice King. But underneath that facade was the strong fearless unmerciful King i knew him to be. He talked politely because he wanted to be pleasing to the Lightwoods. But alls it was was just an act.

"We all hope that our children wont make the same mistakes we did, but they have to learn for themselves." Maryse said touching Roberts arm. I could tell from the look on my fathers face that he didnt believe that one bit. Your kids were the way they were because of you. My father ruled us siblings with a strong hand. He expected nothing but obedience. The Lightwood children apparently had more freedom.

That made sense to me. Isabelle was nothing but a brat, and Alec was gay. My father would have smashed us into shape if that were the cases of his children. My father had always punished us even for minor things. He always handled us with a strong hand. I wished that my father could be more like the Lightwoods. At least they seemed happy.

The rest of the dinner went by normally. I said good night to all at the table, and took my leave. I walked back down the east wing to my chamber. I walked slowly as if i had stones at the end of my feet. I only had one more day. One more day to enjoy the little freedom i had left. When i opened the door to my room someone was in there.

My heart stopped in my chest, i didnt want to believe. Jace stood there, his eyes carefully masked. I closed the door with a bang and dropped the latch.

"What are you doing here! Dont you know what will happen to you?" i cried.

He still looked at me with coldness, "I dont care what happens to me."

I looked at him closely. His manner was cold, why was he acting like this? I moved forward and he moved back.

"What do you want then?" i said, trying to hide the pain in my voice.

"I just wanted to see you one last time before you were carted away to who knows where."

"Well you've seen me." i said as distantly as i could. I still couldnt believe that he was here.

He looked at me with no expression that i was used too. I had only seen the lighter side of Jace, this Jace was not my Jace. I could feel tears threatening to brim over.

"Your to be married soon, to that Lightwood man." he said looking around my room. His eyes wouldnt reach mine.

"In a little more than a day." i said softly.

"Okay, have a good life Clarissa" he said, still distant. He walked to the window and began to climb out of it. My heart was pounding inside my chest. This couldnt be the end of it, this couldnt be the end of us!

He crawled out of sight, my hands were wrapped hard around me. I felt as if i was falling apart. I couldnt lose him! I ran to the window and peered out. His figure was already starting to fade into the night. I hitched one leg over and jumped from the window. I landed hard. I got to my feet and took off at a full sprint.

I ran until i could see him. I stopped short.

"You came just to tell me that? Why did you tell me you loved me? Why did you tell me that this was killing you, just as its killing me!" i cried out, tears now falling freely. He didnt turn around, and he didnt say anything. I was now getting angry.

"Was this all just a game to you? See if you can seduce the princess in the castle? Did i never mean a damn thing to you!"

He turned around sharply, anger in his own eyes.

"What am i to do Clarissa! Steal you away like some scoundrel? Only to be caught and brought back to die? What is it you would like me to do?" He hissed.

I felt my anger disappear. "I want you to love me." i said softly. My hands were shaking at my sides. He still stood a few feet away. I couldnt look into his eyes anymore. I had lost all i ever had. And it was killing me.

I didnt have time to react before he ran to me and clung himself to me. His own tears were starting to fall. I was so shocked i just gripped him tighter. I could feel his sobs rake his body. I held tighter and sobbed my own tears.

His lips found mine and we were kissing. We were kissing as if this was our last moment, and indeed it was. I held him as hard as i could. I didnt want this moment to end. He broke apart to say, "I love you Clary, i always have. I will love you in this life, and the next."

"I love you too, Jace Wayland. My heart will never belong to another but you." i said with all the conviction i had. His eyes were turning back to the eyes i knew. He was coming back to me. He hugged me and i hugged him back. We enjoyed each others presence for as long as we could. I broke apart.

"I dont want to marry Alec, you know that. But what other choice do i have?" i asked.

"I have been thinking about that and the only thing we can do is run away." He said his eyes bright.

"Run away? Run away where?"

"I was thinking about this the whole time and i finally thought of a way. My father is willing to help us, i told him about our woes. He will hide us in a cart to get us out of the city. Once were out, i have saved enough coin to get us at least far enough away. You can come with me Clary. We can live happily ever after, but we must leave." he said hopefully.

Did i want to leave? Did i want to leave behind all that i had ever known? I didnt even hesitate before i replied.

"I will go anywhere with you, to the end of the Earth if need be."

He smiled the widest smile, and i felt as if my whole world had righted itself once again.


	17. Chapter 17

We made love out on the grass. It was slow and sweet. Jace took me to places i had never went before. It probably had to do with are emotions running so high. I layed in his arms afterwards. His arms were wrapped around me as well. We were laying in the grass looking at the stars. They had never looked as beautiful as they did now.

"When were you planning to leave?" i asked.

"Well, i was thinking that the best time would be before the wedding. Most people will be rushing around and no one will see you slip away. The wedding is for the evening right?" he asked.

"Yes, the morning of will be so hectic."

"Exactly, we need as much time as possible. If someone were to see you disappear to soon the guards will be looking for you. And sorry dear but your hair is a dead give away."

I turned to glare at him. He laughed, i felt each rise in his chest.

"Im sorry but its true, i love your hair but it is a Morgenstern icon. Most people in the village are plain people, red hair like yours will stand out."

"Then what am i to do?" i asked.

"Find servants clothes and try to be as inconspicuous as possible. I will be waiting near the stable yards for you. From there we are to meet my father who is to help us escape the village."

It all seemed so easy but i knew it wouldnt be. Any kind of complication could arise. We both needed to be ready for anything. We laid in the grass for a few hours more. I really didnt want to leave him so soon. I wanted every moment i could. It wouldnt be long before we could be free.

I couldnt believe that i would actually be free! I would be with the man i loved! I wouldnt have to give him up for anything! I couldnt believe that i had found this chance. If Jace had stayed away, i would be just as worse off as i was. But Jace had given me hope. He had given me the very hope that i needed to go on. I loved him now more than i ever have before.

I snuggled deeper into the contours of his body. I loved the fresh smell of grass that always clung to him. I never wanted to be without him. I reached up and pressed my lips against his. We kissed for many moments. I broke apart and sighed. I would have to go back to the castle and pretend everything was fine.

At least now i had a reason to be happy. I could smile at everything because none of it was true. I was not to marry Alec. I was not to be sold like cattle. Jace and i would go as far as we needed too. We would make a name somewhere else. I could live out my life with the man i loved. Everything was coming along nicely. Jace had brought me hope.

I helped him to his feet. He kissed me one last time. That kiss held a thousand words, but the most important one was love. I watched him walk away into the trees and i felt so relieved. No matter what happened, i would find a way. I would be with Jace and no one else. No matter what kept us apart, we would always find a way.

* * *

 _ **Jace**_

I left her and went back towards the stable yards. I felt at peace. The few days i had without her had nearly killed me. I wanted to do nothing but lay somewhere and die. I needed to be around her like i needed to breathe. She was everything to me.

I had went to her in a state of turmoil. I had expected her to turn me away. I had not expected her to follow me and tell me those things. I wanted her to be happy. I wanted her to be safe. I had went to her just to say good bye. I didnt intend to kiss her or say anything about my feelings. I knew she was to be married, and i knew she had to do what she had to do. I didnt realize that she had loved me just as much as i loved her.

When she had told me that she wasnt going to see me again. I blamed myself. I thought that she was done with me, that she had gotten bored with me. I didnt blame her. I always felt inferior to her and i felt inferior now. I wanted the best for her.

She was royal, she had riches beyond measure. What did i have? I was a farmers boy. I didnt have any jewelry, i didnt have a fancy crown, i didnt have a big castle. All i had was my heart. I thought maybe that wasnt good enough. But she had accepted that as easily as she accepted me. She didnt care that i was a common man, she only cared that i love her. And love her, i did. I loved her with every ounce of my being.

I had talked to my father a few days ago. I was hoping that if i had a way, she would come with me. Because even though i knew i had not alot to give, i still hoped she would chose me. The Lightwood man had more than i could ever give her. But he did not love her, he never would. She would have all the coin in the world, but no love in her heart. It pained me to think that she should suffer so.

Even if she hadnt wanted me, i still would have offered to take her away. I would have done anything that she asked me too. No matter the cost.

But in all miraculous ways, she had wanted me.

My father was cautious at first and tried to warn me to stay away. I told him that i would have none of that. I loved her. He had agreed to help me after some time.

"Son, you are walking a thin line. If your caught, you will die." He had said.

"I know father, and its a chance im willing to take. Because without her im dead anyway."

My father was a wise man and in the end he had agreed. I was to bring Clary to him and we were to be smuggled out of town in his cart. He would take us as far as he could and then we were on our own. I had enough coin saved up that we could make it far enough away that her father wouldnt search. I would then have to find a ways of making a living for us. I would provide for her the best way i could.

I just hoped she knew what she was getting into. She would never have the rich life she had always had. She herself would have to work now. Could she clean? Cook? Manage the house? I hoped so, because she would have to learn quick. I was only one man and i could only do so much. But i knew our love would see us through. It would be hard, but we both could make it. I loved her too much to see her suffer.

I pushed back the tree branches and made my way though. I needed to be back to the stables before the master woke up. He wouldnt be pleased to find me gone. I wasnt going to get any sleep today it seemed. But i didnt care. Clarissa was mine, she would be mine until we died. I would give up all sleep if i had too. Alls i needed was her.

I was still in the trees when i felt something hit hard into my back legs. I fell with a grunt. I tried pushing myself back up only to be hit again on the back. My arms were ripped behind me and tied together. I was then rolled over to stare into a face i had never seen. Darkness clouded his face and made it hard to distinguish any features. I couldnt identify him.

The strangers fist came and connected to my face. I felt a sharp blinding pain. The figure hit me once more, i saw stars. What was happening? Who was this person? Why was i being attacked for?

My heart was beating fast in my chest. Please god, do not let this be because of Clary. Do not let this be the end when i had been so close. I didnt want Clary getting into any trouble, i hoped this was just a guard wondering as to why someone was sneaking threw the bushes. I hoped with all my heart that that was the case. Because otherwise i was dead.

"Who are you? What do you want?" i cried, blood leaking from my busted lips. The man just smiled, i could feel shivers creeping down my neck. I couldnt see the rest of his face but his mouth. Why had he smiled like that?

"Hello Jace Wayland, its so nice to meet you." The man said, he had his hands on my legs. He was dragging me across the ground. He knew my name! How could he know my name? I twisted and turned trying to break my hands from the bondage. I couldnt escape.

"What do you want from me?" I cried as best as i could. The blood was running freely from my mouth making it hard to speak. The figure stopped pulling, his cloak he wore slipped back and i looked into the coal black eyes of the devil himself. His voice came out cold and harsh.

"Everything."

I couldnt help but be afraid.


	18. Chapter 18

I was awoken to someone beating down my chamber door. I was ripped out of bed, still in my nightdress.

"What is the meaning of this?" i cried to the guards who were draggine me from my room.

"Take your hands of me this instant!" I screamed to no avail. These men were not listening.

I was dragged into the throne room. The guards dragged me forward and threw me down. I stood up quickly and turned to the throne. My father was seated, and next to him was my brother. They both had looks of anger. Oh no..

"Father what is the meaning of this! These men came and dragged me from the room. That is uncalled for!" i yelled loudly.

My father stood up, his hands balled up tightly. His face was nothing but rage.

"Tell me it isnt true."

"What are you talking about?" i said meekly.

"Tell me that your not a dirty little whore!" he screamed at me, i shrank back from his words.

"Father, i dont know what your talking about."

Valentine rushed forward and struck me across the face. I fell to the floor. I could taste the metallic taste of my blood in my mouth.

I looked up bravely into his seething eyes. "I dont know what your talking about."

His hand raised once again to strike me, i held my hands up to protect myself. My brother stepped forward, "If i may father?"

Valentine lowered his hand. I could see plainly that he wanted to hurt me. They must know.

"I have found out a few things over the past few days Clarissa." Jonathan said coldly. I raised my eyes to meet his. I could see happiness swirling around in his dark gaze.

"I dont-"

"Stop! Dont say another word!" My brother hissed nastily. He was the perfect picture of anger. But i knew that somewhere inside him, he was happy. That bastard.

"I have caught you myself, wandering around with that boy from the stables. I have caught you myself in the act of sex. Do you deny it?"

"I dont know-"

"Clary if this is true, so help me you will be punished. Alec will never marry you now." My father screamed from his throne. I was no in some trouble. If my brother had indeed saw me with Jace, then he already knew all of it. I would pay dearly for my mistake.

"I dont know what hes talking about." i said as calmly as i could.

My fathers eyes burned with energy i had never seen before. He would beat me to an inch of my life is he so desired. I could see he was trying to keep his composure but he was slipping.

"Bring Magnus!" My father ordered his guards. A few seconds later, Magnus was brought forth into the room. He stood solemnly in front of my father.

"Magnus i want you to check my daughter once more and tell me what you find."

"As you command sire." Magnus replied dutifully. I knew i was lost.

Magnus took me into an adjoining chamber and instructed me to undress. I pleaded with him but to no avail. He undressed me himself and examined me. After a few minutes he had his answer. I dressed as quickly as i could. My fingers were fumbling with the buttons. When i at last was dressed, i went back to the throne room.

I felt my heart thud weakly. I was never going to get away now. All was ruined! Jonathan had seen Jace and i worried sick over what had happened to him. They wouldnt just murder him on the spot, right? This was all my fault. If i had kept him away then nothing would have happened. Any blood that was spilled was now on my hands.

Magnus pushed me into the room. He stepped aside to turn to my father.

"She is no longer intact sire. She indeed is no virgin anymore." He said simply with no emotion. He bowed once and turned to leave the room.

My father grew increasingly angry. I could see his face turning red.

"How dare you after all that i have done? How dare you besmirch your name for what? A hard cock to ride? What noble lady sets herself to find a man to lay? No decent lady. I am sickened by the very sight of you!" he screamed into my face.

"Call Alec in." my father screamed to his guards. Alec was apparently not to far away because he was inside the throne room in seconds.

"What say you Alec of your brides misconduct?" My father asked, even though we all knew the answer.

"I will have nothing to do with her sire. A wife of mine must be virtuous a chaste. I am therefore caused to break off this match. I am sorry to see our allegiance turned to ashes." Alec said calmly. I could have killed him! He was gay! That is why he didnt want anything to do with me. He could care less about who i slept with. He bowed and left the room.

"Father i-"

"Shut your mouth! I have had it with you Clarissa." my father said cutting me off. "You have soiled the mighty Morgenstern name. You have soiled yourself. Who is to take you now? Who in this realm will take the princess of whores?"

I knew that whatever i said would fall on deaf ears. My fate was sealed. Whatever he chose to do to me now i would have to do. I just hoped that Jace had gotten away free.

"Father... may i?" Jonathan asked to speak. I hated the sight of him! If it wasnt for him i would be safe. If it wasnt for him everything would have went as planned!

My father looked at his son and nodded. His anger was controlled. Jonathan stepped closer to me. His eyes were black and i could sense a glee in him. I tried so hard not to spit in his face. Anything i did now would only endanger myself more.

"I will have Clarissa." he said simply, turning away.

"You? What would you want with her?" My father demanded.

"As you yourself has said. No one is going to want her now. She will be here an old maid until she dies. I will take her father. I care not for who was between her legs." he said. I could tell he was lying.

"If that is what you want. Clarissa has given me no choice. The wedding will continue. Jonathan is now to be your husband. Take her to her new room and lock her in. No one but me and my son are to be allowed in. You are dismissed!" he said to his guards.

I had one last glance of my brothers cold smile. I tried pleading but to no avail. I was dragged from the throne room. My father wouldnt even look at me. Servants stepped back as i was dragged away. I hung limply from their grasp. There was nothing i could do.

I was taken to a holding cell in the tower. It had no window and only a straw mattress. My fathers men threw me into the room. The door slammed shut and i heard the lock turn. I still ran to the door and tried to get out. They couldnt do this to me! I was a princess!

I banged my fists over and over again on the door. I screamed to be released. No one came to let me out. I slumped up against the cold stone wall. My life was over.

I just hoped that they hadnt caught Jace. Maybe Jonathan hadnt looked at him close enough to identify him. Maybe he would still be okay. Maybe before the wedding he would be waiting for me! I had to believe in that because if not...

I didnt want to think about it but i had no choice. Jonathan would be my husband. I couldnt think of a more vile creature. He had ruined my life! Why couldnt he just leave me alone? Why did he have to put his nose in everything i did!

Alec had even came forth and declared he didnt want me! I expected that a noble man would decide to drop the match but Alec? Alec was only looking to save his own skin! He didnt want to marry me at all, and here was his chance to honorably break the match. He wouldnt lose his stupid inheritance after all.

I didnt want to be Jonathans wife. The thought of his hands on me made me sick! He would have to be stupid to think that i would ever accept him as my husband. Even if i was his wife til i died, i would never accept him. I would hate him til the very end. He would never find any love from me.

But somehow i felt that my brother wouldnt care. His obsession with me was not healthy. He always had a thing for me. It was not healthy and it was not normal. If it wasnt for that damn marriage law that allowed him to marry me, none of this would have happened! I could have ran away with Jace as planned. I wouldnt be stuck in this damn tower.

Angry tears threatened to stream over. I was tired of being the one who got kicked down. There had to be a way out of this. There had to be! Tomorrow would be the wedding and i didnt want any part in it! I wanted to wither away in this tower. I would not give Jonathan the satisfaction.

I sat in my tower, a crack in the wall let me know that night was falling. Tomorrow my life would end. I would now be married to the monster that called itself my brother. I couldnt imagine a situation more worse. What had happened? Last night i had been so happy, all things were coming into place. Now my life was falling apart around me.

My tears had all been cried.

I laid by the wall with my arms wrapped around me. I felt dead inside. I wasnt prepared when my tower door opened. I pushed myself up and was about to get to my feet when i realized who it was.

My brother stood straight and tall. His eyes were cold and calculating. I sat against the wall and wouldnt look at him. He stood there for a few minutes just watching me.

"Get up Clarissa." he commanded. I ignored him, he came closer and wrenched me to my feet. He grabbed my face in his hands. I cracked my hand across his face. He stepped back and touched his cheek. I thought he would be angry, but he instead smiled.

"I will forget you did that, wife. Im here to give you some sorrowful news." He said his eyes aflame. I knew this was the moment. He had murdered my Jace. My heart pounded fiercely in my chest. He came closer and grabbed me once again. His lips hungrily crushed against mine. I tried pushing him away but i wasnt strong enough. He broke apart, his smile not reaching his eyes.

"Our father, seems to have suffered a wound." he said messing with his collar on his cloak.

"What do you mean?" i whispered.

"I mean what you think i mean," he said loudly, "I am now King. I am the King of the Morgenstern Legacy. And you are lucky enough to be my Queen."

"What happened to father!" i screamed. What had he done?

"Dont pretend you cared for the man. You guys have hated each other since birth. He couldnt forgive you for killing our mother. Its kinda funny really. You look so much like the portraits of her, yet he would never treat her as he treated you"

"You dont know anything." i said softly. Was it true? Was my father dead?

"It is true. Did he ever tell you of his first wife? She was a girl of high royal blood and father loved her as well. But Jocelyn was a whole different creature. She was fiery red to the others dull brown. Our father couldnt resist her. He beheaded the other girl with no remorse. He only loved the things that he couldnt have. Our mother hated him! She resisted him at every chance. She was probably smiling as she died."

"Your lying!" i screamed. I covered my ears with my hands. I didnt want to hear anymore. My brother was not done.

"Its true. Father was sad when she died, but he was also relieved. He wouldnt have to fight anymore. He loved our mother in his own special way. Just as i love you in my own special way."

"You do not love anything. You do not know how to love!" i yelled nastily. My brother didnt even seem to be listening. His gaze was slowly taking in my body. I still wore the thin nightgown of last night. I felt awkward under his gaze. I dreaded to think what would happen after the wedding.

Jonathan smiled, his smile gave me the creeps. He looked like a creature that had crawled from the bowels of hell.

He came close and took a strand of my hair into his fingers. I wanted to slap his hand away but he pulled away before i could.

"Father is dead Clary. I am now King. You will bow to your King." he said. I didnt believe a word he said.

"Father was fine when i seen him!"

"That was before i stuck a blade between his ribs."

"What! You killed your own father?" i whispered. How crazy was he?

"He was in the way, that was all. I am the rightful heir to this castle. You can believe me or not, but i promise you he is dead. I am the only Morgenstern man left. Dont you see? Our legacy will be built on us Clarissa, just you and me. We cant have anyone tarnishing that, can we?"

I looked into his eyes and couldnt believe his words. He had actually murdered our father? Because he was in the way? Was he utterly insane? He could take his legacy and shove it up his ass. I would never bow to him!

His lips turned up into a smirk. His eyes burned into mine. I wanted him gone. I didnt want to be around him anymore. He made me sick.

"Just leave" i said defiantly. His smirk went into a frown.

"So be it. And Clarissa?" he said throwing me something, "Heres a gift."

I caught the small bundle of cloth into my hands. He gave me one last smile before he left, slamming the door behind him. I slumped once more against the stone wall. My head was hurting with all this stress. I couldnt believe that Jonathan would just kill our father. Surely he had to love his own father? But i didnt love my father, i didnt grieve or feel any regret. If that man was dead, then good riddance.

The bundle was tied with string. I pulled the string apart. Something fell to the floor. I looked at it and felt my heart break. A strand of golden hair laid on the stone. I picked it up, it was the exact shade of Jace's. My brother had Jace and there was nothing i could do about it.

* * *

 **Authors note: This story is far from done. I know many will not be happy about the turn of events, but things have a way of fixing themselves. Thanks for the support! I hope your having a good time as i am while writing it. Thanks so much for your time!**


	19. Chapter 19

_**Jonathan**_

I watched Clary being drug from the room. I was emotionless on the outside but i was ecstatic inside. She was now mine! I would marry her and than she would be mine forever. The little bitch had the nerve to lie to my father. I stopped myself from chuckling out loud. When the guards shut the large oak door i turned to my father.

He was angry still. I could see his emotions running wild on his face. He was not happy about todays events. His displeasure with Clary was absolutely fantastic. I could marry Clary now without any objection. He had already gave me the go ahead. All was coming along nicely.

"What is it father?" i asked politely.

"I needed that alliance. It was paramount that i aquired the Lightwood sigal."

"We do not need those...Lightwoods. We have many men that are already in our inner circle." i said.

"But the Lightwoods hold the upper part of the realm Jonathan. Without them if anything from the north shall rise to uphold our part, we will have no ally from that side. I needed this alliance from Clary!" he hissed through his teeth.

I walked over and laid my hands on his shoulder to try and calm him. It wasnt working in the slightest. I could see his chest heaving.

"Father everything will work out, Clary and i are to be married and-"

My father cut me off, "Yes son and now you have everything you desired for. But what of me! I needed that Lightwood boy. I needed his alliance more than i ever needed the girl. She has been brought up for purely this reason. I needed to marry her to someone important. You think the Lightwood man won on his own?" He cried. "I had to pay off most of the royals to insure that Alec would be the victor. That huge man Grunt had almost cost us it all. Luckily the Lightwood man wasnt too cowardly. All could have failed then."

"You paid off the suitors?" i asked coldly.

"Of course you fool, i needed the strongest match i could make. The Lightwoods were the most prestigious of the group. Are you blind to the way of the King? I thought you were smarter than that." He yelled, his mouth flew so fast spit flew out. I remained calm even though i wanted nothing more than to smack the insolence from his lips. How dare he speak to me like that?

"Father, i will make a good match for Clary."

"You and your perverted fantasy. That clause in the royal decree is only if there are no other suitors available. I have a letter here that is to be sent tomorrow searching for some. Im sure i can find someone more suitable for Clarissa. But dont worry, if none shall come, she shall be yours."

I spoke as coldly as i could, "Clarissa is mine."

My father stopped his rambling and looked at me. His gaze full of wrath.

"Clarissa is for who ever i choose. You best remember that boy!" he spat. I clenched my fists at my side. This pathetic excuse for a man was telling me nothing but lies. Clarissa would be mine no matter what!

I stuck my hand into my cloaks hidden pocket. My fine steel dagger was carefully inside it. I walked closer to my father. I knelt before him.

"Im sorry my lord. I seemed to have forget my station. I will do as you bid." i said pleasently. He looked taken back, he had expected a fight.

"You may rise, it is forgotten. We have more important matters to discuss." He said airily looking around the throne room.

"Yes father, but before we do. Can i request something of you?"

"What is it?" he asked warily.

"It had been forever since you have hugged me. I would like that pleasure before we retire to the council room. You havent hugged me since mother died."

"You want a hug?" he asked incredulously. I nodded my head in deep respect.

"So shall you receive it. Though i never took you for a soft hearted man." The King extended his arms. I walked up to him and took him into my arms. I could feel his heart beating inside my chest. I smelled deep the scent of sandelwood upon his person. I leaned closer to his ear.

"I have never loved you. You were a cold hearted man. You should have learned not to deny me what is rightfully mine!" I slid the dagger from my sleeve and inserted it deep into his ribs. His hands clutched frantically at my back. His lips were dripping thinly with blood. Nothing came out of his mouth but gasps.

"Clarissa is mine." i declared. I held onto him as his life bled away. His hands fell limp to his side. I looked into his eyes slowly fading of all life. I smiled. "You should have never denied me father." i said softly to his corpse.

I dropped him to the floor. I carefully removed the crown from his head. It would need to be refitted. There was now a new king.

* * *

 _ **Later,**_

I crept down into the dungeon. Alls i could smell was the stench of rot. It permeated the air thickly down here. I took the key out from my pocket and inserted it into the correct door. It swung open with an eerie creak. I stepped inside and surveyed the room.

The man was hunched over in the corner. His clothes ripped and tattered. His body bloody and torn. I smiled and lit a brazier. The room was now basked in a horrific glow. I looked down at the man and gave him a swift kick. His eyes opened and he tried to slither away from me. I put my boot down on his body to keep him in place.

"How are we today Jace?" i asked pleasantly. I could see his eyes widen in fear. I didnt blame him. When i had caught him and drug him here last night i had been most unkind. I had beat him senseless with my fist. Then waited until he regain consciousness. Then i took a hot branding iron to his body, i loved the smell of his burning flesh.

I had whipped him until his back was bloody. I loved the way he had screamed for mercy. But there was no mercy here. Nobody could hear him scream from this part of the dungeon. He was here at my command. He would stay here until i was finished with him. I wanted to pay for touching her.

I kicked him once more in the ribs. His eyes were puffy and swollen. I loved seeing his blood pouring from his body. But i would have to relent. He would die soon if i kept it up. I didnt want him dying before i could have my fun. That would be wasteful.

I uncovered a parcel from my cloak and threw it at him. He weakly grabbed for it. A moldy piece of bread fell out. He attacked it like an animal, swallowing it without chewing mostly. I was sickened by this creature. She chose this? She chose this animal? I turned away from him.

The room i had put him in was tiny. It was a dungeon after all. It had no commodities. It held no bed. The only thing this Jace had to sleep on was the cold stone floor. He had to piss and shit in the corner, just like the animal he was. I had picked this place well. I went over to him and knelt down. I looked deep into his worthless eyes.

What had she seen here? What had caught her attention? He was nothing more than a common man with no purpose. I grabbed his head hard in my hands. He whimpered slightly. Oh how i loved the sounds he made. I opened my cloak and removed my blade. I had wiped it clean of my fathers blood earlier. His eyes widened at the sight of it. I had to smile.

"Its not your time yet, no its too soon. But believe me, when the time comes. You will be begging for death." I slipped the knife under a lock of his hair. I pulled quickly and collected as much as i could. I needed this as a little gift to Clary. I wanted her hopes crushed. Because when she was down she would have no will to fight. I now had her completely in my grasp.

I let go, his head fell back to his shoulders. Oh how i wanted to take this blade and skin him alive. His screams would be most delicious then. But no, i had to keep him. I would rather enjoy him for a few days, then just this moment. I slipped my blade back into my cloak. I took one last look at the broken man. His broken eyes screamed a thousand words. I was finding it very erotic.

I opened the door and turned back to face him.

"Im going to meet Clary now, or actually my wife. Tomorrow we are to be married. And i will be thinking of you as im balls deep in her. Just thought you'd like to know." I laughed hard into the wide eyes of Jace Wayland. He was nothing to me. I relished in the fact that he would be hurting for hours over what i had said. It didnt matter, because Clary was mine. Clary would always be mine.

I closed the door and locked it. I made my way up through the winding stairs and twisted corridors. My sister couldnt be kept waiting. I had a little gift for her.


	20. Chapter 20

Today was the day when my whole world fell apart. I had been up for hours dreading this event. I had watched the light creep away from the crack in the wall. Pretty soon it would be time. I could do nothing but sit and wait. Finally my waiting had ended. I wearily heard the sound of footsteps outside my towers door. I was roughly escorted through the halls. I needed to be prepared for the wedding.

They threw me into a room with four maidservants and two guards. I would not be able to escape. The maidservants pushed me into a bath of hot water. They scrubbed all the muck and grime from my body. I felt scoured alive when they finally dragged me out. My body was red from all the hard scrubbing. They all took turns preparing me for the nights occasion.

I was squeezed into a corset that took my breath away. I couldnt breath in this thing! My wedding dress was then put on. It was a lenghthy affair of silk and cotten. Diamonds were embroidered all along the hem. It was a beautiful dress for a worthy disaster. I fought them all the way but the maidservants did their job. The King would be displeased if they didnt.

They took my hair and brushed it til it shone. They jammed my veil down around my ears and pulled the hair through. I itched to tear it away. I didnt want to wear this monstrosity. My heart was beating wildy in my chest. I didnt want to do this, i didnt want to marry Jonathan. I had no choice.

Somewhere in this castle he held Jace prisoner. I dreaded to think what he would do to him if i refused. I fought back but only half heartedly. I didnt have much strength in me. I followed along as they finally got me ready. The wedding was not for a few more moments. We were celebrating it out in the courtyard. Everyone who was invited would be there. I didnt know how on Earth i would get through this day.

I was led to the front gate on the castle and escorted outside. I follow along meekly. I didnt have any other choice. I could see the white awnings from here. I could also hear voices and laughter. Everyone was having a good time but me. I walked as regal as i could. My chest pushed out and my head held high.

I entered the side of the awning into a small room. I was ushered to wait. I tried not to run from the tent with my arms held high. But i resisted the urge, i would be caught and drug back. Jonathan would not be too happy with me. I clasped my hands together in a state of nervousness. I waited patiently for the signal.

A lady in waiting came from under the tent flap. She wordlessly handed me my bouqet. I clutched it tight in my grasp. She then took my hand and led me out into the isle. I had heard voices but i hadnt guessed there would be this many people. I was surprised that this tent held this many. I looked around at all the unfamiliar faces. I swallowed nervously.

The sound of harps were being heard as i walked down the isle. I tried to keep my eyes straight. Jonathan stood at the end. He looked handsome in his all white jacket and trousers. His eyes were gleaming evilly. Oh how i hated him. The lady in waiting took me before him and put my hand in his. His hand felt ice cold.

The priest stepped up to the dias. I didnt recognize half of the people around me. They all seemed happy and joyful. I wanted to scream at them. I turned my eyes back to the priest. He was going on in an annoying drabble about the sacridity of marriage. When he finally got to the part, Jonathan stepped closer and lifted my veil.

I looked into his dark dead eyes and felt bile rising in my throat. His eyes gleamed with the power he had over me. He stepped closer and whispered, "If you anger me, you know what will happen..."

He didnt have to say anymore. He stepped back and watched the priest. I knew what he had meant. I knew that he held Jace's life in his hands. I couldnt let anything happen to Jace! I tried to calm my beating heart. I had to remember my lines.

"Do you Jonathan Morgenstern take Clarissa Morgenstern as your lawfully wedded wife?" the priest asked solemnly.

"I do." Jonathan declared loudly.

"And do you, Clarissa Morgenstern, take Jonathan Morgenstern as your lawfully wedded husband?"

I didnt want to answer. I wish i had the power in me to scream "Hell no!" to the priest. But if i did, then what would happen to Jace? I swallowed drily in my throat.

"I do." i said softly.

The priest smiled, "Then by the power that is vested in me. I now pronouce you man and wife! Jonathan you may kiss the bride."

Jonathan smiled and leaned toward me. I would like nothing more than to turn away but i had no choice. His cold lips pressed hungrily into mine. I resisted the urge to smack him. I couldnt let him hurt Jace. I could suffer this for the one i loved.

Soon enough, Jonathan pulled away. The crowd roared from their seats. They did not care for us. They did not care for me. They only cared about the free events that went on for today. I hated these people as well. How could they not see the fear in me? How could they not see my unwillingness? Either they couldnt see, or they wouldnt. My brother had put forth fear very well into the people.

I lowered my head and let Jonathan escort me out of the tent. His hand felt foreign in mine. I didnt want him touching me at all! But i had no choice. I followed along as slowly as i could. I didnt want him celebrating his wedding night, especially with me. I would have to get by as easily as i could. I couldnt stomach the thought, so i tried to ignore it.

He led me to tables set all along the courtyard. We took our seats at the head of the table. The rest found seats wherever they could. When we were all seated the cooks began to bring out the food. A large roasted pig was set before us. Vegetables of all sorts. Meats of all sorts. The bakers even brought forth more sweets than i had ever seen. The table was ladened with pounds of food. I didnt know how we were to eat it all.

I knew i couldnt eat but i forced myself to. I spooned a little soup into my bowl and started to sip slowly. Jonathan was eating so much i couldnt believe it. His plate was filled with overflowing food. I kept my gaze to my plate. I didnt want to look at him more than i had too. I waited nervously through all the eating and merriment. The many voices made it hard for oneself to think! I tried to remain content as the time slid away.

When all the plates were clear, and everyone had ate their fill, Jonathan stood up to address the crowd.

"Thank you all for coming to this marvelous occasion. My wife and i are pleased to see all the wonderful people that have graced us with their presence." The crowd cheered at that. The one thing the Morgensterns knew how to do, was please the crowd.

Jonathan took my hand and led me over to where a gigantic white cake laid on a table. I was surprised that they found a table able to hold the monstrosity. It must have taken the bakers hours to make it. Jonathan cut the first slice and handed me it. I held it limply in my hands. Jonathan then stepped aside to let others get a piece. I stepped back and tried to remain hidden.

After the cake, i was led onto the courtyards stone ground. Jonathan took me in his arms and the music started to play. He twirled me around in all the usual steps. My hem twirled with every step. I thought that this event would have been magical if Jace was the groom. But Jonathan made it all horrific and undesirable. I let him twirl me around. I had no emotions. I was lifeless in his arms.

His eyes were shining the whole time. I could see he was enjoying himself. I cursed him silently in my head. I would do everything in my power to thrawt him! I couldnt let him take me as a husband. The thought made me absolutely sick. I resisted the urge to throw up right at his feet.

When the stars were finally beginning to come out, the event started to died down. The dancing was brought to a halt, Jonathan once more addressed the crowd.

"My wife and i would like to thank all of you that have shown up here today. I am a very happy man. I bid all you a farewell. My wife and i have things to attend too." He said smiling, the crowd laughed. Guards escorted the townsfolk out through the main gate. I was shaking with fear. I was not ready! Jonathan came and grabbed me by the arm. His smile covered his whole face. He saw the fear perfectly shown and chuckled softly.

"Dont worry Clarissa. I will be soft." he paused, "At first."

I clenched my teeth together to stop from retorting. I wanted to hit him where the sun didnt shine! I let him lead me through the halls. All the servants stepped aside with knowing smiles of their faces. I felt nothing but nausea creeping up on me. Jonathan led me to the Kings bedroom chamber. He had apparently taken residence after he murdered our father.

I didnt want to believe Jonathan when he had told me, but today was proven evidence. My father was dead and buried. There hadnt even been a burial ceremony. Valentine was dumped in a wooden casket and buried in the family cemetery. I couldnt believe that Jonathan hadnt put him in his tomb in the mausoleum. That was blatant disrespect. I didnt share any warm feelings for my father, but i still would have buried him properly. I would have seen him to the gods in the proper way a King should. No matter that he was a monster just the same as his son that was made from his loins.

I felt no remorse for my father. He was murdered at the hands of his kin. How dreadful! I wouldnt have had the nerve to murder him, but Jonathan was a whole different story. He had been poisoned from the day of his birth. My father had ruled him and shaped him into the monster he had become. My father had no one to blame but himself. I didnt feel any pity. My father died as he had lived. In the battle of lies.

Jonathan opened the door and bid me enter. I stepped into the room i had never seen and my mouth dropped. The bed was the biggest i had ever seen. Its canopy was a dark red. It had bed posts that were carved exquisitely. The room itself was big in contrast to what i was used too. I had never really entered this room before. My father and i had no reason to be together in this room. The room was basked in candle light. If i had the right man here, everything would be perfect. Instead i turned my eyes back to the monster.

His eyes gleamed hungrily, sending flickers of light across his eyes from the candles. His lips parted and he spoke softly,

"Come to me Clarissa...succumb to me."


	21. Chapter 21

_**Jonathan**_

I parted my lips and said, "Come to me Clarissa...Succumb to me."

I could see her eyes widen with fear. She was frightened of me. That was all the better. I knew my sister had little love for me but that didnt matter. She would come to love me just as our mother did to our father. My mother loved to hate and hated to love, but she still came to love him just as much as she hated him. Clarissa would be no different.

I walked toward her slowly. I took her chin into my hands. I had always loved how small and delicate she was. I always wondered how hard i could go before she broke. She was now my wife. She would do as i commanded, or she would suffer the punishment. She could never escape from me now.

I leaned forward and kissed her on her lips. Her mouth proved unresponsive. I didnt care. I pried her lips open and stuck my tongue inside. She fought me all the way, but that made it all the sweeter. I pulled away and looked once more into her eyes.

The brightest green i had ever seen stared back at me. Her eyes held so many emotions and none of them were nice. I would have what i deserved and nothing less. She could fight me until the day she died, but she would always be mine.

I lifted a hand and placed it on her bare shoulder. Her wedding gown was too much fabric. I slid the fabric down from her shoulders. I leaned forward and kissed her shoulder blade. She shuddered beneath me. Good.

I took her hand and led her to the bed. I looked into her eyes as i tore the gown free from her body. I had seen her naked before but this was different. Her breasts hung erotically from her chest. I gazed down and seen a flash of red between her thighs. I had waited too long for this. I undressed slowly. My muscles taut as i pulled my shirt over my head.

No one had ever complained about my chest. I was more muscled than her Jace. I slipped a finger into my trousers and pulled them off. My cock was limp but starting to rise. I needed complete control over this moment. I had waited too long.

I pushed her back onto the bed. She scrambled back as far as she could. I couldnt help but smile. She really thought she would get away from me? Not now, not ever. I climbed onto the bed and onto her. i hovered above her. Her lips were open, she was breathing hard. I could see the fear, i could practically smell it. She would have me whether she liked it or not.

I put my hands on her body. Trailing my fingers over her hard nipples. She tried to stop me, i pushed her feeble hands away. I put my lips on her neck and kissed sweetly. I could be sweet if i wanted to be. My sister didnt need sweet. She needed the love only a true man could give her. I bite hard into the tender flesh. She whimpered sharply and tried to push me away. I bit harder.

She flailed underneath me, trying to get away. I used my body weight and held her in place. I kissed her now bleeding neck. I loved the taste of her blood. I kissed her defiant lips. Blood smeared across her face as she tried to turn her head. So be it. I kissed down her chin and down her chest. I took one nipple into my mouth and sucked greedily.

She had started to cry. I was getting more turned on by those sounds than anything else. I sucked each nipple before i started kissing downward. I held her body with one hand. She was not strong enough to pull away. I dragged my tongue down her belly. She squirmed under my grasp.

I kissed each thigh in turn. I put my face between her thighs. I kissed her pussy softly. I flicked my tongue and found her sweet center of release. I flicked my tongue back and forth over it. I could feel her body responding even though she hadnt want anything to do with me. I was guessing Jace never took the time to explore her body like he should have. I licked her folds as she fought the moans that were fighting to escape her.

When her body convulsed, her thighs clamped by head in place. Her cry of orgasm rang deep throughout the room. I licked her sweet taste of my lips. Her tears were now coming down fast. She had not liked that i had given her a sweet release. I had enjoyed it immensely. I kissed hurriedly up her body and back to her lips. I wanted her to taste herself as i have tasted.

My cock was now throbbing with need. I needed to be inside her. Her pussy was wet and ready. I had done my job correctly. I pried her legs apart and went to position myself. She bucked wildly underneath me.

"Jonathan please no!" she cried.

"Jonathan please yes." i murmured back to her. She knew she could not persuade me otherwise. I needed her.

She slammed her hands into my chest to keep me from her. I loved the way she struggled. I grabbed each hand and slammed them above her head. I held them with one hand as i got myself ready. I pushed my cock toward her entrance. It indeed was wet to the touch. I pushed inside her with all my strength. I had never felt a cunt this pleasant before. It begged to be ripped apart.

She cried as i entered her. Her legs clenched my sides strongly, but i would not falter. I was controlled by a selfish need. I needed to stretch her. I needed to fill her. I needed to cum so hard inside her. I held her down and i went at her like an animal.

I thrusted so deep inside her that every thrust she cried out. I slammed my shaft deep into her sweet cunt. Her cries soon became screams. I beat her pussy so hard that after awhile she went limp underneath me. She had finally learned to succumb. I, Jonathan Morgenstern, would have what i wanted.

I pumped away for a long time. I couldnt get enough of her hot wet cunt. Each thrust, i moaned loud. I was having a hard time controlling myself. I would bust soon.

I put my hands around her throat. I loved to bust this way. I slowly tightened my grip as i thrusted hard inside her. Her cries were cut off seeing as she couldnt get any air. I enjoyed the look of fear in her eyes. Her emerald eyes were starting to fade when i couldnt control it any longer.

I slammed one last time into her soft sweet body. My seed pumped into her cunt with happy release. I had held back for too long. I took my hands off her throat and watched her struggle for breath. I loved the bruises that were starting to form. I had claimed her now.

I climbed off the bed and took my robe off of the chair. I draped myself with the robe and turned to look at her. Her eyes were hollow and dead.

"See, that wasnt so bad. I rather think we both enjoyed that. There will be many more times to come my dear." I smiled and turned away. There were a few more things i needed to do this night. My other guest could not be kept waiting. I shut the door with a slam. A guard was posted outside. His ears were red. Apparently he had liked the noise as well. I motioned him to come closer.

"No one is to leave or enter this room. Disobey me and i will have you head. You understand?" i said coldly glaring at the man. He nodded so hard, i feared his helmet might fall off. I turned from him and made my way down into the dungeon. Things were ending just nicely. I had never imagined that she would be just as delectable as i had found her.

She would be mine. She would always be mine. I had her tonight, and i will have her forever. Clarissa can never escape me. We are now bonded in the most sacrilegious bond. Our marriage was forever consummated. She is my wife and i will kill any man who comes between that. I needed to vent some steam. I opened the secret door that led down into the darkness. My other guest couldnt be kept waiting.

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 **Authors note: Thanks for all the support guys! Your reviews mean everything to me!**


	22. Chapter 22

_**Jonathan**_

I crept down the crumbling stone steps. This part of the castle was old. Nobody had been down here except those left to rot. My father had not been a nice man. That was fine, because neither was i. I lowered my candle to see into the darkness. The door i wanted was just down this corridor. I hoped my guest would be excited to see me.

I slipped the key from my pocket and inserted it into the lock. I opened the door and peered inside. Jace was still lying in the corner. His back was to the wall. He looked at me warily. I smiled and shut the door.

"How are we today?" i asked pleasently. "Im doing very well myself. My bride and i shared a wonderful time together." Jace's eyes turned angry. Good.

"What...did you do?" he croaked.

"Only what was required of me. I assure you she enjoyed it just as much as i did."

Jace tried to move toward me but failed. His body slumped to the ground. With barely any food or water to sustain him, he was now weak. He couldnt crawl out of the door even if i left it wide open. His hair was a scraggly mess and he was a sight for sore eyes. His face had healed somewhat from the last thrashing i had giving him. I would have to remedy that.

I crossed the room and knelt next to him. His hand feebly tried to grab my face. I pushed it away. His hand as strong as a childs. I liked this state that he was in. I liked the fact that he was now broken. What would Clarissa say now? Would she still look at him the same way?

His eyes were dazed and angry. I reached into my robe and pulled out a parcel. Inside was his food for the day. It was the same as it was last time. I dropped it to the floor. He didnt go for it in the same way he did before. His hands moved slowly as if it were too much energy. He was slowly dying right in front of me. I loved every minute of it.

He chewed as best as he could until the bread was all gone. I next slipped out a waterskin and gave it to him. A little of his energy had now returned. He still couldnt move or try and escape, but he wouldnt die just yet. I let him eat in peace.

When he was done. His eyes still proved hostile. How nice of him to treat me as such, when i kindly offered him food. But that was the way off the common people. They would take whatever they could and not be thankful for a penny of it. I hated the low born. What use were they except to toil our fields?

I raised my arm and cracked it once down the side of his face. He hadnt expected it and his head rolled with the impact. I wanted him dazed. I slipped the rope out from a hidden pocket and quickly tied his hands behind his back. He was no immobile. His eyes were glaring with defiance, but perhaps not much longer. I made sure he was securely bound while i took out my blade.

It was a beautiful dagger. Its point sharply made, its handle made of glass. My father had given it to me for my fifteenth name day. It was the same dagger that i had murdered him with. This daggers legacy was built on blood, and i would have it no other way. Jace's eyes widened at the dagger. He thought his time was near.

I knelt next to him and slid the dagger gently down his face. I didnt cut him, just yet. I loved seeing the fear grow as i played my little game. I dug the blade deeper and cut a thin line. He grimaced and tried squirming away from the blade. I didnt let him. I put one leg over him until i was straddling him. He couldnt move even in the slightest. My knees were keeping him in place.

I had cut a little line down the side of his chin. I needed something more, something bigger, something greater. I positioned it right in front of his throat. One cut would all it take. One clean cut and all his lifes blood would spill out onto the floor. I could do it, i should do it. But i didnt want too just yet.

This was the man who had taken what i prized most. I wanted him to suffer for what he stole. A quick death would be better then he deserved. I took the blade away from his throat. I could see his pulse thundering in that sweet spot on his neck. He would live another day. But that didnt mean he would have to be as before.

I held is head down with the palm of my hand. He was too weak to move. His dry cracked lips begged for mercy. His pleas fell to deaf ears. I would have my vengeance. One way or the other. I would have my atonement in any way i saw fit. I placed the tip of the blade right under his eye lid. He begged and pleaded but i didnt listen.

I slid the blade into his eye socket and rotated it. Blood gushed from his face in a torrent. His screams coming loud and thick. I ripped his eye out with one pull. Blood cascaded down his face. His screams were music to my ears. I took his eye and examined it.

Such a fine color for a low born. Such a pity it was wasted on him. I crushed the eye in my palm. It squeezed out between my fingers. He would have no use of it now. He would have no use for it anymore. At least i was kind enough to leave him the one eye.

* * *

I exited the room and pulled the door closed. Jace's soft whimpers still could be heard. I smiled and slid my blades edge down my robes hem. I didnt want his blood rusting the edge. I made my way happily back up the winding stairs. I had had the best night in such a long time. Could this night get any better?

I made it to the top of the steps. I opened the dungeon doors and stepped out. I sighed a breathe of great release. My life was getting better every minute! I now had the crown, the princess, and my sweet revenge. I chuckled at the thought of what Clarissa would say to him now. Surely the loss of one of his precious eyes would make him less desirable. Maybe i should have taken it to her? Offered it as a wedding gift.

I walked slowly back to the royal chambers. I needed some time to cool my blood. I could hear it pulsing madly inside my head. The rush i got from others pain put me into a state of nirvana. I needed to hear their screams.

I made my way down the royal quarters. When i got to the door i noticed something was amiss.

"Guards! Guards!" i screamed until my throat hurt. Four men came running, their armor clanging together as the moved. The guard at the chamber door had been bashed in the head. His body now dead or unconscious was lying slumped against the wall. Someone had been very very naughty.

I kicked the door open with all my might. I gestured for the guards to check the room. They moved as quickly as they could. They knew my anger could be something fierce. I made sure the whole room was checked before i finally realized, Clarissa had escaped.

I slammed my fist into the chambers bed post. The clang resounding all through out the room. The guards looked at me and each other nervously. They knew this would not end well.

"I want this whole castle checked. The first person to find her will be rewarded. Anyone who is not trying hard enough will die. Go now! Find her!" I screamed.

The guards rushed to action. They ran to sound the alarm. I waited and heard the bells clanging throughout the castle. She would not escape me. Too much was at stake here. I couldnt let her slip between my fingers. She was mine forever.

I crossed the room and picked up her torn nightgown. I brought it under my nose and sniffed twice. Oh how i loved the smell of her. I needed her, just like i needed the crown. We would be the Morgensterns, we would further the legacy. Our children will be the most hated and feared of all the realm. How could she not see the greatness in all this? How could she not see the power that i was giving her?

She was destined to be sold of to a lesser house, but here i offered her the best reward of all. She could have everything as my Queen. She could have all she ever wanted except one thing. Jace had to die. Sooner or later, his life would bleed away into the afterlife. It was only a matter of time.

I shook my head. She was proving to be more strenuous than i had imagined. I thought my lovemaking would have broke her spirits. But it turns out that she was alot stronger than i thought. I would have to break her more before she would ever bend to my will. It saddened me that she couldnt be more cooperative. We could have it all. We should have it all.

I was Jonathan Morgenstern. I was the best being in all creation. The Devil himself is deep in fear in the pits of hell. The Angels weeped as i was spat from my mothers womb. I was born out of greatness, and out of greatness i shall rise. I was the King of Shadowmoore, but someday i will be King of the realm. Let anyone defy me, and you'll see their heads on spikes before the day ends. Clarissa would be the only exception.

I needed to find her, i needed to have her safe. She was the piece to the legacy that i could not let go. She was my Forever Queen, as i was her Forever King.

* * *

 **Authors note: I am glad so many people are eagerly reading this story! I would love it if some of you would kindly review and tell me what you think! I always read my reviews and take each one into thought. Thanks a bunch. And sorry for the few days wait. Thanks!**


	23. Chapter 23

_**Clarissa**_

Jonathan left the room. I wrapped my arms around me. I was cold inside and out. I felt broken and weak. I tried to fight him off, but to no avail. He had taken me without consent. I didnt know how to cope. I tried warming myself by rubbing my hands over my arms. It wasnt working.

What kind of evil was he? To take a woman without her consent? To take pleasure in something that wasnt yours to take? How could he wake up each morning and not feel guilty? I had known their were monsters but i didnt think i would know a true beast like him. He had relished in the pain he had caused me. He had no regret for anything.

I shuddered back a sob that threatened to escape. My tears had long since dried. I was numb. I sat up on the bed and looked around the room. My gown was a torn mess. I went to the chest beside the wall and dug around. I found a cloak of my fathers. I tried not to shudder as i slipped it on.

I was now covered at least. All my clothes were in my chamber. I would have to wear this for now. My skin itched where the cloth covered me. It was almost as if i could feel my fathers dead soul still inside.

What was i to do? I felt like just laying in bed til i died. I didnt have anything left for him to take. He had brought me down lower than i had ever been before. How was i to ever get over this? This invasion of my own body. I felt used and diseased. His seed still seeped out from between my legs. I was at loss.

I sat back down on the bed. I didnt know what else i could do. I could run but he would find me. But how could i even get away? Jace's father was long gone by now. I doubted he would still take me when his son was inprisoned somewhere in the castle. Jace!

I needed to see him. I needed to see that he was alright. Where would Jonathan keep him? Surely not here in the upper part of the castle. Servants would wonder as to why a man was being held captive. It had to be somewhere secluded. Where in the castle was there such a place?

The dungeon! It was the only place in the castle that was dark and creepy enough. It could hold many people and not effect the people in the castle. But where was it? I couldnt remember. My mind was so fuzzy and it was hard to think. I remembered a time when Jonathan and i were young and he had locked me in there. But where?

Jonathan had pushed me inside and turned the latch. I had screamed for hours from the other side. I had pounded my tiny fists against the door for hours, until a bewildered servant had called a guard to check it out. My father had not been pleased. I couldnt remember where that door was!

I knew it was in a secluded section of the castle. There was a statue of a knight beside it. It had a heavy wooden door. I would remember it if i could see it again. But where could it be? The only places that weren't well known were the east wing, where my chamber was, and the underwing of the castle. It had to be there!

But how do i get out of here? I had little energy and my body felt torn apart. I went to the door and listened. I could hear a guard outside shuffling his armored feet. I would have to get rid of him. I looked around the room for some kind of weapon. I saw a candelabra and picked it up. It was heavy in weight and small enough to conceal in my robe. I went to the door and knocked.

The guard opened the door hesitantly. He was a young man with a kind face. I shuddered to think what my brother would do to him, but i didnt care. I had to find Jace!

"Where is my brother?" i asked feebly.

"He went out miss."

"Where?"

"I do not know my lady."

"Well i wish to go find him." i declared. The guards eyes went wary.

"Im sorry, but his orders were to keep you here."

"But i am a princess, surely you can not keep me here?"

"Im sorry, but orders are orders." He said with a stiff voice. I could tell he was a little unnerved to be speaking like this to me. My brother had made him his puppet. I felt sorry for the man, but i had to do what i had to do. I slid the candelabra out from my sleeve and swung it hard. It connected to his face with a loud crack. The guard fell to the floor in a heap.

I dropped the candelabra and looked around me. I was in the royal chamber hallway. I needed to find the archway that led into the lower areas of the castle. I walked cautiously down the hallway. I made sure to listen to every sound in case i needed to hide. I couldnt be found just yet. I peered around corners as i went along. Finally i made it to the underwing.

A door led me through into a long forgotten corridor. Cobwebs and dust were everywhere. Nobody was allowed though here. The men who went in, most certainly did not come out. My father had used this plenty in times of war. I shivered at the thought of how many lives had been lost here. One single torch burned from a socket. I tugged the torch out and held it high. I could see a few feet in front of me.

When i found the knight statue i knew i had the right place. The knight was chipped and corroded, but it was the same statue. I looked at the door and gave it a push. It creaked open. I peered down into the gloom. Chills ran down my spine as i looked into the pit of darkness. Nobody could hear me scream from down here. I slowly made my way down the steps.

I heard voices behind me. Oh no! Somebody was coming to check out the dungeon! I looked around me and had to think quick. Jonathan would not hold him up here. These levels of cells were bigger and more decent than the rest. Jace would be kept farther below. I looked frantically for the door that led me down deeper.

I ran as quickly as i could. It would take the guards some time before they could check all the cells. I would have at least some time before they found me. I was on the second level. Smaller cells were all around me. I couldnt detect any sign of movement or sounds. He was not here. What if he was dead?

I stumbled along the best i could until i found another door that opened to more steps. I descended as quickly as i could. I found another similar room as before. Jace wasnt here. I found another door and started to go down the steps. These stone steps were even more cracked and worn. This was a place not many visited. It was old and rotting.

I could see nothing, water dripped down on my head from above. It was as silent as a tomb down here. I felt fear creep into my skin. I didnt want to be alone down here. The silence gave me the creeps. The stairs went down for what felt like hours. My legs were tired by the time i reached the bottom. I held my torch up high. There was only one door down here.

I walked closer and tried the latch. It was locked! I lowered my torch and searched around. There was a tiny chunk out of the bottom corner of the door! Years of rot and mildew had rotted away a small portion. I dropped to my knees and brought the torch closer. My hair was getting singed.

"Jace?" I cried softly. I could feel tears threatening to brim over. He was all alone down here in the dark.

"Jace are you in there?" i whimpered.

I didnt hear a sound. I sat back and let out a sob. Where was he? Did Jonathan kill him?

"Please lord in our Heavens above, dont let Jace be dead! Have some mercy on my soul!" I cried out into the darkness. A sound came from the door. I scooted closer and put my eye to the gap. It was pitch black inside. Was it Jace that made that sound, or just a rat?

I was close enough that the door was digging into my face. My heart thudded hard inside my chest. I hoped with all my heart that Jace was inside!

"Jace, its me Clary!" i cried louder than i had before. I heard more noises from behind the door. It sounded like someone was dragging something. I waited patiently. The noises coming along regularly now. Whatever it was, it was coming. I had just enough time to be scared before an eye appeared in the gloom.

It was an eye i knew well.

"Jace!" i cried, tears falling down my cheeks. He didnt reply. I took a look at as much of him as i could. His eye looked hollow and lifeless. What had Jonathan done? I pushed my lips through the gap and kissed him. His dry cracked lips didnt respond.

"Jace are you okay?" i asked. His eye blinked, i couldnt see much more than his lips and his left side of his face. The door hid most of his features but i knew him too well. It was Jace but he was different.

"Jace its me...Clary."

His eye found mine and held.

"...Clary?" he finally asked.

"Yes Jace, its me Clary." i cried. I slipped my hand under the door and touched his lips. His face felt gritty under my fingers. Why was he so dirty? Surely Jonathan was feeding him? He didnt just leave him down here to die?

"Where is...your brother" he said weakly.

"I dont know. I dont know how much time i have left before they find me. I just needed to see you!" I looked deep into his half hidden face. His eyes were still dead and lifeless. Why was he so defeated for? I longed to be in his strong arms once more. I had to find a way to get him out of here! There had to be a key somewhere. I just would have to find it!

I heard voices coming from behind me. They had found me quicker than i had thought! I only had a few more moments. I looked deep into Jaces eye. I wished i could see him face to face. Someday soon, i hoped.

"The guards are coming, i have to go. I love you Jace Wayland." i said tenderly. His eye never left mine as i took the torch away. His gaze was swallowed by the darkness. Sobs caught in my throat as i left him. The guards caught me on the steps. My fingers and toes were numb. The cloak had not kept me warm. I let them roughly drag me through the dungeon. My brother would not be happy.

I was led back to the royal chamber and tossed inside. Jonathan was already there. My breath came out erratically. What was he going to do? He stood with his back to me. His arms laced behind him. I didnt know what to expect, but surely not this. I stood as silently as i could. My fear was coming on thick.

He spoke without turning around, "Ah, there you are. I wondered where you had gone off too." His voice was like a shard of glass, brittle. He was angry. I could see his anger rolling off of him in droves. He would not just let this one go. I didnt care, i needed to see Jace. I had to make sure that he was still alive.

I didnt answer. He didnt expect me too. His voice was filled with displeasure as he continued.

"Im disappointed in you. After all that i have done, you go and do this? Whatever for?" he asked. He turned around. His eyes burned with fury. I had never seen him like this. His eyes burned with a fever i had never known before. I didnt answer him once again, his eyes were burning into me.

"What do you see in him, that you dont see in me?" he cried. I couldnt answer, i didnt want me or Jace to be in more trouble.

"Why wont you love me?" he hissed. My answer was only silence. He walked forward until he was just a few inches away. His eyes disturbed me. It was almost as if i could see into his soul, but Jonathan had no soul.

"I see you have met our guest." he murmured coldly. I couldnt stay silent any longer.

"What are you doing with him! Why is he locked down there in the dark!" I screamed into his face. My emotions were running high.

"He is where i want him to be!" Jonathan screamed back.

"You cant do that!" i yelled savagely. His reply was a swift slap to my face. My cheeks burned from the blow.

"You have no authority to tell me what i can and cant do! You are a woman and you are beneath me! You best learn your place before i make you learn it!" He spat viciously into my face. His eyes burned with anger and hostility. It took all my courage; i spit into his face.

He stepped back, his eyes shone with shock. His fingers came up to wipe the spit away. He had not expected me to retaliate. I felt victories for only a moment, because the next words chilled me to my bones.

"Jace is dead."


	24. Chapter 24

_**Clarissa**_

I was dead. I didnt disbelieve Jonathan when he had said Jace was dead. He wouldnt tell me that if it wasnt true. I went through my days lifeless. I had no will to live anymore. My spirit was broken. Surely this couldnt be the end? I would not toil here under Jonathan's gaze for the rest of my life? I didnt think that anything good would ever come my way again.

Jace had been the only thing in my life that i had found happiness in. He generated feelings in me that i had never thought existed. I knew misery and loneliness, but i knew near nothing of the better things in life. His smile made me light up inside. What we had was true and pure and now it was all gone. Jonathan had taken everything away from me. He had taken my life as well as my will. I was now nothing more than a shadow of my former self.

The next few days passed miserably. I was instructed to attend every meal, be courteous, and to never decline my brothers advances. I had to dress pretty and smile a hollow smile. The servants werent buying my act, but they didnt say a word. My brother had changed things around the castle. Now there was an even darker tint to the air.

He had changed some laws down in the village. One of the more chilling ones was if a villager was found near the castle unannounced, they would be put immediately to death. I knew where that law had come from. Other things changed gradually as well. The guards became more cruel. Jonathan never chastised or told them to not behave like brutes. I averted my eyes to the maid servants getting raped in almost every corridor. There eyes had looked at me for help, but i had walked away. What was i to do?

There was nothing i could do. I was now dead inside as they too would be. I was the Queen but i was powerless. I couldnt stop it, like i couldnt even stop the bad things in my own life. Things were starting to take a colder side here in Shadomoore. I could feel it seeping deep into my very bones. Things were not the way they used to be. My father had been a cruel man but he had been just. He punished those who needed punished but he didnt hurt others for fun. His castle was slowly rotting away into my brothers legacy. Everyday the castle was more my brothers than it had been my fathers.

The castle became chilly and inhospitable. The King had put a high tax on the villages wares. The village had rioted within a few days of the taxes. Jonathan had sent guards down to settle the matter. I could hear the screams of anguish from the village from even inside the castle. The guard hadnt been very pleasant. They had went down and physically made the villagers stop rioting. Some they had murdered right there in the street. It didnt take long before the villagers stopped causing chaos and went back to their houses.

There was terror and confusion running rampant. I floated through life without any care. I had nothing more to care about. What was life if the only light you had, had run out? Alls it had taken were my brothers words to break me down. I saw many people who still had the will to fight.

A servant girl had stabbed her rapist in the leg with an iron poker. I felt she deserved a lesser punishment than what my brother ordered. She was ordered to a room to be up for pleasure for any man who enters. My brother was a sick creature. I felt pity for the girl as she was drug away, tears streaming down her face. But what was i to do?

A mother had come to the castle for atonement for her sons unlawful death. Apparently a guard had trampled the little one with his war horse. The guard had simply stated that the boy was in the way. My brother had sat on his throne with his head held high. He hadnt even looked at the distraught mother once. I stood beside him and tried to appear calm. My heart was hurting for the poor woman. He had given the mother five coins for her suffering. The mother was dragged from the hall.

I didnt agree with anything that my brother was doing. I had no choice in the matter. No one in the castle would take orders from me. I wasnt able to stop or do anything. I walked through my life being led by the creature of my nightmares.

Jonathan spoke to me as little as possible. He ordered me to be dressed in the attire he had chosen. I couldnt say no to him even if i tried. He was my King, and he was my husband. I was powerless in my own life. There was nothing more that i could do. With Jace gone, i had no will to escape. What would be waiting for me out there?

If i did manage to escape, i would have no coin, no food, and no where to go. I wouldnt be able to trust any person i met, in fear that they'd take me back to the castle. I would have to live day to day. I had never lived a hard life. I had never had to do what most people have done. From an early age i had almost everything i could ever want. There were always books, jewels, and pretty things for a girl like me. I had never lived otherwise. How could i leave all this? How could i find the strength to move on?

I was selfish in my own ways, but werent we all? We would do anything for those we loved. We would sacrifice millions just to save one. We all were selfish creatures, we were all human. I did what i did to survive, just as anyone else. I didnt want to live here with Jonathan but what other choice did i have? I had selfishly chosen to keep Jace in my life and look what happened. He was now dead and gone and i would never get him back. My selfish ways had cost him his life, as well as my own.

I was seated with my brother at the long table. Another meal of hidden tension. I poked at my food with no real energy. I didnt want to be here in the slightest. My brother ate relishly, his eyes often gazing in my direction. My body was still sore from his love making last night. He had come to me almost every night to take what was his. I drifted off in my head thinking of other things while he did his duty. In my place of peace i could forget my life for just as long as i had too.

When i was finished i placed my hands clasped together in front of me. My brother noticed my movement.

"Not much of an appetite tonight." he said nonchalantly, still stuffing his own face.

"Not that hungry."

"You have been acting a little solemn, perk up. We cant have the town thinking my Queen is miserable. It lowers morale."

I nodded my head, even though i doubted i could appear happy. What was there to be happy for? Jonathan looked at me once more and then waved his hand to excuse me. I bowed and left the table. I walked slowly back to the royal chamber. Guards followed close behind me. I was never allowed to go anywhere without at least two guards. Jonathan still hadnt forgot the time i had went to find Jace.

I opened my door and walked through. I shut it and stiffened a sob. I didnt know how long i could go on like this. I couldnt suffer through another day! Everyday i was dying a little more inside. I sat on the edge of the bed and put my head in my hands. I didnt want to live anymore.

I looked around the room for anything sharp. I found a silver chalice that i hoped i could crack. I smashed it on the hearth of the fireplace. Little cracks appeared with every smack. When the chalice had cracked enough to reveal sharp edges, i sat back.

What would my life have been if my mother was still alive. Surely she could have controlled my father, surely she could have raised me and my brother up right. She could have made life easier. I never had a mother so i didnt know what a mother even did. But i thought she'd be strong and kind. She would make sure the castle was fairly attended too. There would be peace and kindness, i just knew it. But all those hopes had died a long time ago. My mother was dead and buried. She would never be coming back. She would never be able to help me.

I cradled the broken chalice in my hands. I cried tears of deep sorrow. The tears falling fast down my cheeks. I didnt want to leave behind this world. But maybe in the next life i would have Jace back. I couldnt go another day without seeing his face. I could not go through another day of abuse from Jonathan. If there was any way to escape this, i had found it.

I placed the sharp edge on the inside of my fore arm. I jerked as quickly as i could to the left. I felt a sharp pain, blood ran from my wrists. I did the other one as easily as the first. I could feel myself slipping away with every second. I didnt feel any regret except for the life i had lived. I would not take away one second that i had experienced with Jace. I had loved him with all of my heart. But in this life things were not as easy as they appeared. I could not suffer being a slave any longer.

Only in death, could i be free.


	25. Chapter 25

_**Clarissa**_

I felt pain, blind searing pain. My head was clouded and i was disoriented. Where was i? Was this the afterlife? Surely it wouldnt hurt this bad? I heard myself scream but i still couldnt open my eyes. What was happening to me? It felt as if i was being stabbed in the arm repeatedly. I succumbed to the darkness and felt no more.

When i finally started to come too, i noticed many things. My arms were on fire and my head felt light. I felt as if i was floating on air. The pain wasnt as bad as it had been. It was now a dull ache. I opened my crusted eyes and looked around.

I was on a bed, heavy blankets crossed my body. I lifted my arm and pushed them away. I then noticed the bandages wrapped around my arm. I was not dead! Someone had found me and brought me back here to the healers. I didnt succeed in my attempt. I was a slave just the same.

I grabbed the bandages and tried ripping them off. I was weak and my hands fumbled badly with the cloth.

"I wouldnt do that if i were you." a voice called from across the room. I opened my eyes wider to adjust to the light. Magnus Bane walked closer to my bed. He handed me a water skin which i drank greedily. I felt weak and lightheaded. When i was done, Magnus took the skin back and sat across from me.

His glowing eyes peered deep into mine.

"Why are you with Alec?" i asked weakly. To my knowledge, him and Alec were lovers and he was supposed to have went back with Alec after the fiasco over our wedding. Magnus's eyes turned soft, and he looked away.

"Thats none of your concern Clarissa." he declared softly.

"Why did you save me." i whispered. He had to have known my intent.

His eyes returned back to mine, his lips glistening.

"Surely it cant be all bad?" he asked. We both knew the lie that it was. He knew better and so did i.

"I dont want to live in this world Magnus, please let me go." i pleaded, i extended one hand and clasped his. His skin was cool and firm under my hand. He didnt take his hand away.

"Death is not the fix for your problems."

"Then what is? I cant live anymore like this Magnus. What good is there in a world where you dont belong?" i said with a little more strength than before.

"There was a time in my life Clarissa, where i felt i didnt belong either. But life goes on, it always will. You must find a way to make it though." he said distantly. He grabbed my hands firmly, "Dont rip the bandages or i'll have no choice but to tie you down."

He let my hands go and walked away from me. I watched his back as he left me to my own thoughts. I stared into my hands. A single tear fell into my hand. I couldnt even kill myself correctly. Magnus was just in the other room. He would check on me to make sure i was okay. Jonathan must have him in his clutches as well. I was safe no where.

I laid my head on the pillow and just cried. My wrists were thrumming with dull pain. It was driving me insane. I wished i could just itch under there, but i had no clue as to what Magnus even did under there. It would have to stay on and i would have to suffer the itch that i couldnt scratch.

* * *

Over the next few days i stayed with Magnus in his chambers. On the third day he came over to redo my dressings. I longed to see what was under them. He took a small pair of sizzors and cut the cloth carefully. Then he peeled the cloth away to reveal my mangled wrist. Blood caked around the wound. He had apparently stitched it the best he could. I would have scars for life. I was amazed at the ferocity of the wound itself. I must have been in a very dark place to have done such a thing.

He cleaned the wound and rewrapped it. His hands moving expertly over the afflicted area. He was done in a mere few seconds. I waited til he was done til i spoke.

"What did Jonathan say?"

His eyes were busy tying the dressing closed, "He was angry."

"How angry?"

"Angry enough to beat the first slave he saw, senseless. Your actions effect others, remember that." he spoke softly, not looking at me.

"Why havent i seen him?" i asked.

"He has other matters to attend to." he said curtly. I wondered what these matters included. My brother couldnt stand the thought of me leaving him, but he wouldnt even come see me on my deathbed.

"When am i allowed to leave?" i asked.

"Not long now. Your wound is healing very well and its coming along nicely. I'll have to let Jonathan know your okay before i can let you out of here. I assume he will come along himself or send someone to fetch you."

I felt my heart lurch in my chest. I didnt want to see the face of that monster. I would find a way to escape him. I had failed this time, but next time i wouldnt. One way or the other, i was getting away from Jonathan Morgenstern.

Magnus finished tying the cloth and stood up. His black hair was untidy around his head. I looked up into his wise eyes and felt safe. It felt as if Magnus was a good person. Surely he couldnt touch that tenderly if he was a monster? Jonathan never even faked being nice.

I tried one last time, "Please i dont want to be here. If i have to be here any longer, i will not fail next time."

His eyes saddened at this, he turned from me and began to walk away. His back was rigid as he stood there. He turned back around. His eyes were pools of grief.

"I decided to stay here because i couldnt stomach the thought of leaving you here by yourself. All of us knew about Jace and not one of us warned you. Alec was content with letting Jonathan have his way. But i am not. I have lived in this castle for many years. I have seen the little monstrosity he had grown up to be. I felt that it wasnt kind leaving you like this. " His eyes were gleaming by this point. "You are a beautiful soul Clarissa Morgenstern. You are one of a kind and you can not die. You must live on, for yourself and for your people."

"But i have nothing to live for, Jace is dead." i cried.

"Clarissa when have you ever known your brother to speak the truth? Your brother is not fit for King. He is too cruel, too vain, and too mean. He must not reign for very long."

"So your saying hes lying?" i asked, my eyes rising to meet his. His eyes met mine and i could see all the truth i needed to see.

"Yes Clarissa, Jace is alive."

* * *

 **Authors note: Yes this one is a little short. But keep on reading away, more to come as soon as i can type it. Thanks for all the support!**


	26. Chapter 26

"But how? Where is he?" i cried grabbing onto Magnus's cloak.

"You must understand that there are more things going on than just your love for Jace."

"But where is he Magnus?"

Magnus looked deep into my eyes. There was something there that i had never seen before. I fierce determination. I just wondered for what cause?

"First i must explain some things to you." he said, "I have worked in this castle for many years. I have seen the rise the Morgensterns. I have seen and heard many things around this castle for many years. Not everyone is happy with your family."

"Well of course. Im not happy with them either." i replied, eager to hear what he had to say.

"Yes, but no one was happy when your father was murdered. Things have been set into place for many years. Your father caused things to go out of control, and Jonathan only added to it. You were never meant to be married off, you were meant to be our Queen."

My breath was catching in my throat. What did he mean things had been going on for years? Was there an uprising in the midsts? Jonathan must have ruined the chances of that. But i still didnt understand how they wanted me to be Queen.

"I still dont understand." i said.

"There are many people in this realm Clarissa. From the lowborn to the high. We have suffered under the Morgenstern House for many years. We have been trying to revolt and take it down."

"But thats treason!" i cried out.

Magnus chuckled, "If you were lowborn what would you have done?"

I thought about that. If i had been lowborn i would have had a miserable life. With the taxes and the harsh punishment, it would have been a sad life. The people in the village were always starving. They suffered the worse of my fathers wrath. They suffered everyday due to the King's ruling. Hadnt i wanted to change that ever since i could remember?

"I would have tried to defy them too." i whispered softly.

"Exactly. Things are changing around here. We are tired of the oppresion and the rules. Your father was to die shortly before the marriage. Your brother shortly after that. We never would have let you be married off. I just never thought i would have fallen for Alec." His eyes turned wistful at the thought. I waited til he continued.

"Alec knows nothing, and i couldnt watch him be content with our suffering. All highborn think themselves above the law. They do as they please and they always will. It is time for a change. It is time for a new ruler. It is time for you to step up to the plate."

"But im only 17, how can i possibly rule? There has never been only a Queen ruling the realm." i say.

"It is time for a change. Your mother wanted this from the very beginning."

"My mother?" i stammered.

"She saw the suffering of many and decided to do something about it. She made connections and she made alliances. She is the reason why we are here today. She wanted a different life for her children. We are only sorry that one can not be saved."

He must have been talking about Jonathan. I agreed with him. Jonathan was just plain rotten.

"She started this revolt?" i asked.

"No, she just helped move it along. Then she died giving birth to you, and we have taken over from there."

"So what do you want me to do?"

"Be ready, because when it is your time you must be ready. Jonathan will not go down without a fight."

I nodded my head, "So then where is Jace?"

* * *

 ** _Jace,_**

All i remember is a blur. I couldnt remember the moving or where i was even heading. All i had known was the insufferable pain. My eye was swollen and my throat cracked and dry. I could feel death creeping up on me in a sudden wave. I knew i was about to die.

I wasnt afraid of death. I was only afraid for Clary. I was sure i imagined her finding me. I thought it must have been a hallucination brought on by the dehydration and starvation. I couldnt remember much, just the feel of the cold hard floor.

My face was hot and blistery. My eye was damaged beyond repair. I could feel its emptyness. The pain of losing my eye was enough that i blacked out every so often. I had never known a pain like that before. I could feel it getting inflammed. It would be infected soon and i would die quicker. That was okay with me.

I felt lost, i felt broken. I was not the man i used to be. I was now a man who had lost it all. Jonathan had taken it all from me. My life, my eye, my heart. He had left a bigger wound inside my chest than he had in my face. The thought of Clary suffering under him was enough to drive me insane. My sweet dear Clary, how i longed for a way to fix things.

My time finally came.

I was barely concious as i was dragged from the room. A cloth bad was yanked over my head and i was dragged away. I thought that it was now time. I was being led off to my death. I was only a comman man with a comman heart. I didnt matter to these people with royal blood. I was to die without enjoying life as it was meant. I didnt weep a single tear. I was too disoriented to even care.

I could hear distant sounds, the sound of horse hooves, the sound of children playing. I didnt know where i was headed and i was okay with that. I slipped in and out of concious and i lost all sense of time. I didnt know how long it was until i finally was free of the sack.

I was in a chair. I could feel people talking in distorted voices. I could feel fingers poking and prodding my flesh. Were they cutting me? I was too far gone to even notice if i felt any pain. My lips were opened abruptly and water cascaded down. My lips greedily drank from the source. My cracked lips cracking even more. I had never tasted anything so good.

Over the next few days, i was nursed back to health. I was slowly earning my strength back. I couldnt begin to understand why Jonathan would heal me, just to hurt me. Maybe this was part of his plan, to heal me just to make me suffer longer. I just hoped that maybe this time i would have a chance to fight.

My good eye was soon able to see images. My throat felt raw and scratched. It was hard for me to speak.

"Who are you, what do you want." i croaked feebly.

They never answered. When at last i was back to normal, or as normal as i ever would be. The people dressed in white came and washed me down. They washed as much dirt and muck of me as they could. They found me clean clothes to wear and even brushed my hair. My eye they had slowly nursed away from rot. It would never be the same and i would have one hell of a scar, but i would be ok.

The people left me where i was. I slowly and painfully got to my feet. My limbs were stiff but i was able to move them after i stretched. I was not imprisoned so maybe i could escape. I didnt have long before a woman entered the room.

She was beautiful, brown hair and grey eyes. She was a wonderful creature to gaze upon. Not as beautiful as my Clary, but still a unique creature. She looked me over. I remained still as she did so. I didnt know yet what this woman even wanted. Her eyes went to my eye. She extended her hand to feel the rough tissue. A frown was upon her face.

"Sit down Jace, you need to be resting."

"Who are you?" i asked as best as i could.

"My name is Tessa. Can you tell me who gave you these wounds?"

I didnt even hesitate, "Jonathan Morgenstern."

She nodded as if she already knew. She must have, for her to rescue me. Or was this just a trap of some sort. Her eyes were hard but i couldn detect any malice in them. She seemed okay.

"Do you know why your here?" she asked, sitting opposite me.

"I have no idea, ma'am"

She smiled, "You are involved with Clarissa Morgenstern, correct?"

Should i speak the truth? Would it get Clary in more trouble? The woman seemed to read my mind.

"Clarissa wont be in trouble. I just need to know where you stand."

"Yes...i...i love her."

She nodded once, "I assumed as such. Well Jace, i have some good news. We detest Jonathan Morgenstern just you do. We are determined to bring him down."

"But what about Clary?" i stammered.

"No harm will come to her. She has a bigger part in the history of this realm."

"Bigger?"

"Yes Jace Wayland, Clarissa will be our Queen."

Clary as Queen? She had a soft heart and a good soul. But she was only 17, how could she rule all by herself?

"Clary is only a young girl." i say.

"Yes, but soon she will be a truly married woman, to a strong man."

"Clary is already married, to her brother." I said.

Tessa hissed under her breath. Her shoulders went rigid.

"That is no true marriage. That is a despicable act under the lords of our heavens. They have not repected that bond since the day it happened. Jace, if Clary loves you as i think she does, then you will be King. Clary will hold the true power, but you will be there every step of the way. Making sure she stays true to her word."

Me? King? I was speechless. True, this was what i always wanted. I wanted to be with Clary for the rest of my life. i just never thought it would be as equal. Would i finally have a chance, at a life i could have never had? Would i be strong enough to handle it?

"But ma'am, im only a lowborn. How could i possibly be King."

"That does not matter. It is time for a change, it is time for a new way of life. You must decide now Jace if you are going to stand with us, or against us."

A new way of life? Is that what i truly wanted? Is that what Clary truly wanted? I looked back on all the times we spent together. She had always had concern for the wellfare of others. She had told me herself she dreamed of ruling one day with a gentler hand. Well here was her chance and i could help her!

I didnt think she was happy at all with Jonathan. I didnt even know where i even was. Was i close to the castle or far away? Would i be able to get her out of there soon? I didnt want to think of her suffering anymore at the hands of that monster.

I had witnessed Jonathans own cruelty. I had seen what he does to people that he is angry with. He had made me less than a man, he has mutilated me beyond repair, and he has tore the very soul from my body. But i was strong now. I was no longer a weak little man. I had my strength runnning through my limbs.

I would fight. I would fight for Clary until i died. I would do anything in my power to give her a happy life. Even if it means my death. She was a beautiful soul. A soul that needed to be free. She always had excitement when she talked about things that she loved. I didnt imagine Jonathan allowing her her freedom.

I wanted to kill him. Not only for what he did to me, but mostly for what he did to her. If my hallucinations were real, i had seen the pain in her face. At the time though, i was only worried about my own. I couldnt let that happen again. I needed to save her. I needed to help end this reign of terror. Jonathan was an evil man who needed to be brought down. The only question i had, was how soon could i be helpful.

"Tessa, i will do everything in my power to help your cause." i said, my back straight. I tried looking as strong as i could.

She smiled a true and radiant smile.

"As i knew you would," she held out her hand and i shook it, "Welcome to the Circle."

* * *

 **Authors note:**

 **Chilling isnt it?**

 **I hope you enjoyed and stay tuned because this story is just starting to pick up. Thanks for all your support! I enjoy writing this for all my lovely fans.**

 **Reviews and follows make me update quicker so keep that in mind :D**

 **Thanks for your time!**


	27. Chapter 27

_**Jonathan**_

"Where is he!" I screeched into the mans face. His eyes were wide with fright. My anger made everything crystal clear. I would tear this mans head off from his shoulders! I grabbed him by the throat and pulled him close.

"Im going to ask you one more time...Where is Jace Wayland?" i hissed through my teeth. The man gasped under my grip. I slackened my hold and let him drop to the floor. His erratic breathing was starting to annoy me. I kicked him one swift kick in the ribs to get his attention.

"Sire! I have no idea. He was in his cell the last time i seen him!" the cell guard croaked.

"In his cell you say? Then how did he escape you fool!" i hissed. I aimed a well placed kick into his ribs again. He groaned and writhed on the floor. I was dealing with imbeciles. I was standing in the holding cells. It was dark and gloomy, just the perfect atmosphere for how i felt. I was angry and i needed to do something about it. How could this happen? Who had helped him? I didnt believe he just escaped by himself.

I turned to the Kingsguard. Men who swore allegiance to me and me only.

"I dont know where or how, but find him!" i screamed. The guards saluted and left the room. I turned back to the man laying on the floor. I held nothing but contempt for this man. He somehow let Jace escape. This man was too blame.

"Do you have a family Bran?" i asked sweetly. The man looked up to me his eyes wide.

"Yes sire, two boys and a wife." he says. Sweat pooling down his temples. _Ah, i had found a sweet spot._

"Is your wife pretty?" i ask slowly.

"Why yes sire...she is a most beautiful thing." he stammers.

I turned to my two remaining guards left in the room.

"Bring his wife to me." i command. The guard on the left leaves the room immediately.

Bran starts weeping, "No sire please! Shes all i have!"

I kick the man once more in the ribs. He stopped his annoying weeping and instead started whimpering. Oh how i detested a weak man. I let the man cry on the floor. I paced around the room waiting for this wife of his. I had plans to make him pay.

The guard brought in a weeping woman. He dropped her to the floor in front of me. I went to her and kneeled down.

"Is this your husband madam?" i asked.

She wiped her snot ridden nose and stammered a reply, "Yes your grace."

I stood and walked back over to the man.

"Bran what a nice wife you have. Its such a shame shes all covered up."

Bran caught my meaning, "Please your grace. Have mercy on me! I didnt let him out i swear!"

I shook my head, "Tsk tsk Bran thats too bad."

I tried to walk toward his wife. The foolish man tried to grab my ankles. I kicked him hard in the arm and he let go. I smiled as i went over to the damsel. I placed my hand on her arm and helped her up from the floor. Her face was a mess of acne and scars. _This was beautiful?_

She was sobbing openly. "Dont cry now. Your with the King and the King will take care of you." i murmured softly. I loved seeing the bewilderment in her eyes. She really didnt understand what was happening here. I would soon show her.

I motioned for my guard to hold onto Bran. I didnt want him trying anything. I went to his wife once more. "What is your name my dear?"

"Mildred, my lord."

"Well Mildred, your husband has committed a very offensive crime. Do you know anything about that?"

Her eyes went wide with fear. "I have no idea your grace. I am just a poor woman from the village."

I leaned close, close enough to smell her fear. "I wish i could believe that Mildred.."

The blasted woman grabbed my sleeve. "Sir i swear it i have no idea!"

I smiled in that way i always do. The woman backed away. She had indeed seen the devil today himself. I nodded to the last guard in the room. He grabbed the woman by her shoulders and held her tight. My Kingsguard knew me well. I came close and could see her eyes trying to figure a way out. Too bad there wasnt one.

I took my hand and slowly dragged it across her chin. I then slowly went down her neck and to her neckline. Her bosom was small but it still was easily visible. Not visible enough. I grabbed the fabric and yanked as hard as i could. Her dress split down the middle. Thats cheap material for you. The woman begin to cry.

I stepped back and let Bran take in his spoiled wife. It was a blight to have your wife naked in front of other men. I could see his fear. He knew he was powerless and i loved that. I could feel my cock stiffening inside my pants. _And here i thought i couldnt get hard for this woman._

I walked closer to her and ripped the dress all the way off. Her breasts heaved with every breath she took. I placed my hand on a hard nipple and squeezed hard. The woman whimpered but did nothing. _Good._ I slowly trailed my fingers down her stomach to the patch of hair above her privates.

"Bend her over!" i commanded. Mildred starts wailing then. "No sire please no!" I slapped her hard across her face. Her tears were flowing good and proper.

"Bend her over William!" i commanded again. The guard didnt hesitate. He kicked her legs out from under her. Mildred fell to the ground. William positioned her on her knees and kept a hold on her so she didnt try and run.

I slipped one finger into my waistband. "Now now, Bran i really wish i didnt have to do this. Its almost a sin..."

Bran tried to struggle out from under Stefans grip but my guard held him proper. "Please sir," he begged, "Please dont do this!"

I laughed. "I am King. I shall do what i want. And what i want now is your wife!"

I pulled my trousers down to reveal my hard cock. I always got aroused at things like this. I made sure Mildred was properly in place. I grasped her ass in both hands and pushed forward as hard as i could. Her wet cunt fitting tight over my cock. Her cries were lost in my thrusts. I fucked that woman so hard and rough. I made her husband watch, and i loved every minute of it. They had unleashed the beast.

When at last i released inside the mans wife. I leaned back and I pulled her back against me. Her tears and snot running down her face. I pulled her closer until her head was near mine. My lips at her ear. My hands around her neck.

"Thanks ever so much Milly, your services are no longer needed." i whispered just loud enough for her husband to hear.

"Please sir, dear god, please dont harm her!" he pleaded. His own tears streaming down his face. I laughed a sweet delicious laugh.

Then i tightened my grip on her neck with my hands and i twisted until i heard a snap. I dropped her lifeless body to the floor. Bran openly cried and wept. I was smiling the entire time. Oh how quickly life can be extinguished. I stood up and motioned for William.

"Bring me Clarissa."


	28. Chapter 28

_**Clary**_

I woke up sick to my stomach. I yanked the covers off my body and ran for the wash basin. I heaved up everything i had eaten last night. _What was wrong with me?_ I was sick every morning. I had a basin set beside my bed for this very reason. I hated the sight of my stomachs contents. After i threw up as much as i could i sat back. My hair was a mess around my face. I pushed it back as best as i could. I didnt want to have to wash my hair free of my throw up. It wasnt a very ladylike activity in the slightest. I hated the feeling of it.

It has been two months. Two months and no word of Jace. I was beginning to worry. I had been rudely summoned from Magnus's chambers by my brother. His anger was something unimaginable. I wondered at its cause. I wondered if he knew Jace had escaped. He had lied to me and said he had murdered Jace, and like a fool i had believed him.

Magnus had been the one to help me. He had patched me up after my suicide attempt and he told me the truth. My mother was part of a secret revolution that wanted a different era for this kingdom. Shadow Moore would no longer be in shadows. At least when Jonathan was taken from the throne. I had dealt with my brother and waited everyday for something to happen. But nothing ever did.

I had heard nothing of Jace, and nothing of anything else. I had tried to go to Magnus but each time he shushed me and sent me away. I wondered what was going on? Magnus said i was to be Queen yet he treated me like a child! I was sick and tired of going through the motions of the day with no word. I tolerated Jonathan's cruel ways. I walked around the castle while deep inside my own thoughts. It has been many moons and still no word.

I was beginning to lose my mind. Jonathan had come at me more than once since that time. I had fallen back inside my head each time. I couldnt handle the thoughts that his hands were on my body. That he was taking pleasure in the carnal pleasures of my skin. That thought sickened me. I didnt want to live like this for much longer. I was tired of the way things were.

I woke up every morning and did the same things. I woke up to my maidservants poking and prodding me. They dressed me in my brothers favorite dresses. Brushed my hair and washed my body. I did nothing on my own. I walked all over the castle and i could feel eyes on me. Except when i looked around i could see no eyes on mine. Its as if it was all in my head, but i knew better. I was being watched and i didnt know why. Nobody would talk to me and everyone avoided me. It was if i was a pariah.

I had no voice. My brother was busy doing King business and when he wasnt, he was bothering me. He always treated me like i was some piece of precious fruit that only he had access too. It made me sick. I wanted a way out. Magnus had promised me that things were coming to action. But where were they? So far i had seen nothing! Not one scrap of evidence that marked an uprising. The castle went on as usual. Servants ran to and fro. The cook was always banging cutlery in the kitchens. Everything was all in place and orderly.

I tried my hardest to remain calm. I tried to act normal in front of everyone. But inside my thoughts were in turmoil and now i had this morning sickness. What was the cause? Was it something i ate? Was it just that i was sick? I didnt feel sick like the normal way people get sick. I also had strange yearning for weird things. Molasses cubes, taffy sticks, weird things that i normally didnt eat. What was wrong with me.

I had to vomit once more. I leaned over the already half full basin and heaved again into it. I heard my door open with a click. I really didnt want anyone seeing me like this. But i had no choice, my stomach was throwing everything out. I held my hair as i threw up once more. I sat back and wiped my mouth with my dress. The maidservant standing there opened her eyes wide. She was one of the new girls that had been assigned to me. She was one of my brothers.

"How long has this been going on miss?" she asked. Thinking that maybe she could help i decided to answer.

"Few days." i replied.

"Stand up." she demanded.

I stood up and she walked around me. Her bony hands touching my waist. She pressed into my belly. I waited til she was done. What was this all about? Was i going to die?

"Miss i think its best if we go to your brother." she says.

"Why? Is there something wrong?"

"We need to see the King."

She grabs me by the hand and leads me out into the corridor. Never the mind that i was still in my night dress. She leads me down the hall and past all the open mouthed servants. It was indecent to be seen like this! I try to appear as if things were normal. I knew this gossip would travel through the castle in no time. Damn this blasted woman for not allowing me to dress first!

She led me through into Jonathans War Room. It was a room where he and his officers conversed over orders of the realm. I had never been inside it. My brother was sat in his chair. A map of the realm was spread in front of him. His Kingsguard were all around him. I didnt like the way they looked at me. They made my flesh crawl. My brother looked up at my appearance. His eyes were cold.

"What is this? An unannounced barging into my meeting? What is the meaning of this?" he said coldly. How i hated when he spoke. The maid dropped my arm and came forward.

"My lord, we must speak in private." she said a little hurried. She obviously didnt think to announce herself. My brother was all about respect. Especially from inferior woman with no family honor. I didnt even know what was going on. My brother motioned for his Kingsguard to leave the room. His eyes were black as coal and they looked foreign. I was scared, more than i liked to admit. What was going on.

His guard William didnt leave with the others. He was my brothers right hand. He stayed in case of an attempt on the Kings life. I hated him just as well. My brother leaned back in his chair.

"What is the matter then? I dismissed my guard. What is so vitally important that you disturb my peace?" he said. His dark eyes glinting madly at the woman. I felt bad for her. I knew what it was like to be under his gaze. I was used to it by now but she obviously wasnt. She stuttered and was already perspiring.

"My lord, i witnessed Clarissa vomiting this morning."

My brother raised an eyebrow, "Why do i care what my wife excretes?"

"Sire, she has been throwing up for the past few days she says." the woman says, lowering her eyes.

My brother looked confused but then i could see realization in his eyes. He began to smile. "Is this true sister?" he asks me. I dont know what is happening so i just decide to nod my head. My brother smiled a dark and cruel smile.

"You may leave us." he says to the woman. The woman bows and leaves the room. I could hear my heart thundering inside my chest. William was just a dark shadow over in the corner. I felt weird at his presence. What was going on?

Jonathan stood up from his chair and walked over to me. His eyes betraying nothing. He rested his hands on my stomach.

"Your with child, dear sister." he says slowly, seductively.

I about fainted on the floor. No, no, no! I couldnt be with child! Could i? I have been sick each morning but maybe i ate something bad.

"You dont know that." i say defensively. I could not be pregnant.

"Woman suffer stomach upsets when they are pregnant and if i can see correctly, your getting a little fat in the stomach." he says.

I looked down at myself. I didnt seem any bigger. My corsets needed to be tightened more to allow me to fit in my dresses but that was normal. Girls gained weight, it wasnt anything bad. I was just eating more or something. I could not be pregnant!

"No, i just need to eat less." i proclaim.

Jonathan smiles that evil smile i know so well. "We shall see. In a few months you will be large in the belly and we will know. Dont look so alarmed Clarissa darling, we are going to be parents."

I shuddered away from him. Never would i allow him to raise my children! They would turn out just as he did. Rotten and poisoned from the core. I couldnt be with child, i just couldnt be! But maybe i was... I hadnt had my maiden blood in two months. I had figured nothing about it. Jonathan had seduced me on our wedding night and every now and then after. If his seed sprung inside me then it was his child growing there.

But what of Jace? Jace's seed could have grown as well. I was struck by this realization, whos child was this?

Jonathan seemed to read my mind exactly.

"Oh and Clarissa, lets just hope this child is mine. I would hate to see what would happen to it if it wasnt." he said. I grew instantly cold. He would murder my child if it wasnt his. He would murder my child in cold blood. Nobody would stop him, nobody could. I could not let him get his hands on my child. I would die first.

I backed away and ran for the door. Jonathan chuckled behind me, "Lets hope his eyes are black and not golden." he said before i ran out into the corridor. My heart thudded inside my chest. I felt like i was going to have a heart attack. I needed to be out of this god forsaken place! If my child was born and had Jace's eyes i feared for his life. Jonathan would not have mercy. He would not show compassion. He would take my child from my arms and dash his head against the wall. He would not listen to my pleading and begging. He would murder my baby.

I cradled my hands around my belly. I would protect my child. I believed deep inside me that it was Jace's seed that had grown. I dreaded the thought of having Jonathan's spawn inside me. I shuddered at everything that had to do with him. I didnt want to carry a monster inside me. I wanted Jace's golden eyed baby, not the poisoned one.

What was i going to do? It wouldnt take too long before this baby was here. And then what? What could i possibly do? Pregnant and a princess, with no where to run too. I felt sick with worry. What in the world was i going to do? I only could think of what lay in store for me and my child. What would i do if it was born with Jace's eyes? What could i do to stop him? It wouldnt be long before my belly was swollen and large. It wouldnt be long before my birthing pains started. And then what would happen?

 _Oh Jace, Where are you?_

* * *

 **Authors note: Jace, where art thou Jace?**

 **Thanks for reading.**

 **I am at work on the next chapters to come.**

 **Thanks for the support and your patience.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Authors note: Sorry for the long wait on this update. I'm doing the best i can at the moment. My life has been a little hectic and i can not spend as much time as i like doing what i love. I hope to be finishing this story sometime here soon. So stay tuned and thanks for reading. :D**

* * *

 **Clarissa**

Over the course of many moons i was now more a prisoner than i had ever been. Jonathan kept me locked in the east side tower. I was under guard every moment of my day. I was not permitted to leave the tower, i was not inclined to do anything but watch out from my window. The air blew in carrying the scent of flowers. Oh how i longer to visit my garden again. From outside the window i could see the servants running around. They looked like tiny ants from up here. This was the only entertainment to be had in my tower room.

How funny that most princess stories have to due with towers. What irony that was now that i too, was locked away. I did not have long hair that my rescuer could climb. I had no vines that would let me escape. There was no way out of this dismal room except through the main door. There was no hope there, it was locked. Only my brother and his leader of the Kingsguard had access to this room. William was the one who brought me my daily water and bread. This man scared me.

William Starkweather was a handsome man. His face would make any girl swoon. His bronze hair and good natured eyes were a rare thing to behold. I knew otherwise of the darkness inside his heart. He wore a mask. A mask that only a few could ever reveal the truth underneath. He put on his good natured face for people that mattered, for people he needed to conceal his nature. He didn't wear that mask when he was around me. His blue eyes were cold in my presence. I could see no life within them. I had tried at first to beg to be allowed to at least stretch my legs. It gets damp up in this tower.

William had denied me that, he denied me even a few words of comfort. He would not speak to me. He would not engage me in any way. He brought my bread and water, dropped it on the table, and away he went. There was one time a few nights ago that i had seen just a flicker of something in his eyes. I had not expected him to come that late in the night. I had not received my food and i didn't think i ever would. The moon was shining high in the sky. It was way past the time for my meals.

I was undressed when he came into the room. I had not heard the key scratch inside the lock. I had turned, my hands covering my breasts to find him there in the doorway. His eyes took me in, they traveled over my covered breasts and down to the swell of my belly. I was now beginning to show the marks of motherhood. My pregnancy could not be hidden anymore. His eyes had shown some kind of emotion as he took in my belly. I could not fathom what he meant by it.

It only lasted a few moments. William tore his eyes from my stomach and dropped the tray at its usual spot. He turned and left the room without a second glance. I couldn't eat that night. I covered myself and laid on the small straw mattress that was provided for me. I had tried to forget that i was pregnant. That i had a child growing inside me. I wanted to forget that anything like this had ever happened. His eyes on my stomach were sinister. I could tell he had some fascination with my bulging stomach. What could he mean by that?

I had laid awake half the night running my hands over my swollen belly. Every so often i could feel something moving under my hands. It brought a smile and also a tear to my eye. I didn't know what lived inside me. It could be a monster with twisted clawed hands, or it could be a perfectly normal healthy baby. Jace's or Jonathan's. I really didn't want to think what any of it could mean. It was not many moons after i had known i was pregnant. My belly was now rounder and larger than ever.

I could not deny it any longer. I was indeed with child. It would also not be long before this child was born. I was being kept under close watch. Jonathan had told me his reasons.

 _I don't want anyone knowing your pregnant. If the child is not mine, i can not stomach anyone knowing that you bore someone else's son. I can not say it died in childbirth because no son of mine would succumb to that. We must keep you hidden. Its for your own good._

I had been locked away ever since.

There was not much to do inside the tower except think. I had not been given any books or anything to occupy my mind. I was slowly going crazy. I seen no one except for William, and even that man was not someone i wanted to see. What i really wanted was to be free. I wanted Jace by my side and-

Jace...

I tried not to think about Jace. He left a ragged hole inside my heart. I was so sure that he would have came back for me. I was so sure that he would have came for me already. It had been moons since i had seen him. Moons since i had heard his voice. I had acknowledged that Jace was not coming back. He would have been here already if that were the case. He would not have left me here in this place, would he? I liked to think that he wouldn't. That something important was keeping him away. But what was more important than me?

I had no answers to my questions and no one was around to ask. I was all alone inside my head and nobody to comfort me. I spent my days looking out the window. That was all i ever managed to do. My hair was a scraggly mess that i kept corded at the nape of my neck. I didn't want anything to do with it. My father had loved me for my hair, i despised the feel of it. It reminded me of all that i was, and all that i lost. I was now treated even worse than i had before.

 _I should have ran when i had the chance._

I should have slipped past the guards at the gate and just kept running. We had a plan to leave, Jace and i, but it was rendered useless by my brother. He had taken everything from me that i had ever held dear. My hair, my love, my body. There was nothing that i had that Jonathan had not corrupted. If this was Jonathan's baby, what was i going to do?

Would Jace even look at me now? Would my pregnant tummy turn him away? Would the thought of my brothers hands on me drive him away in disgust? He knew that Jonathan was my husband, he had to know what goes on. I had no choice in the matter. I did not make love to Jonathan, i only made love with Jace. But what did it matter anyway? It was not like Jace was coming back.

 _I had grown bitter._

I was angry at the fact that he had just left me here. That i was left to rot in this god forsaken place. No one had come to rescue me. Magnus's secret order was nothing but lies. He had promised me that Jace was alive. If Jace was alive, then where was he? I had not seen or heard any word since all that. It was like i was left alone in the dark. I was cast adrift and i had no idea where i was even heading. I was alone.

Each day was the same old routine. I awoke and sat by the window. Watching life go on around me yet i was stationary. I tried to keep my spirits up. I tried to keep calm and think of a plan. But nothing would come to me. I only had William's meal visits and occasionally my brother would stop in. Those visits i hated the most. He always made my skin crawl. It was getting harder and harder to fight him. My will to do anything was slowly dying out. I had lost all hope.

Jonathan would come to me. His robe wrapped around himself. I knew better than to believe that i was the only woman he had been with. He usually visited me smelling like a woman's perfume. I had hoped that he would bother himself with them and leave me alone. Alas, this was not the case. He visited me often enough that i knew there was no escaping him.

 _"Take of your dress, sister." he said._

 _My hands shook as i unbuttoned all the buttons. I let the dress fall from my body. My breasts heavy and sore, they had grown a little in size. Jonathan was keen on squeezing them too hard._

 _"Get on your knees." he commanded._

 _He didn't want it anyway else. Said the sight of my belly sickened him. I was glad for the excuse not to look at his face. For someone so sickened at my round stomach, he sure did enjoy fucking a pregnant girl._

I tried my best to block out each night with him. I tried, at first, to fight him but it did no good. He outweighed me and he was stronger than he looked. A slap to the head usually kept me compliant. Jonathan was not above putting his hands on a pregnant girl. Jonathan was not above anything. What he wanted, he got.

I laid in bed, my hands trailing softly over my belly. My breasts were sore and i knew that it was almost time. It would not be long before this child was born. There was no word from Jace, or anyone else. I didn't think that anyone was coming. I just couldn't believe that Jace had left me here. Had left me in a place where he knew evil thrived. He knew my brother firsthand and yet...i was still here. I was locked in a tower with no way out. I was treated like an animal. I was the Morgenstern Princess, yet here i was. No one was coming for me.

Did he even love me? I was so sure that he did. I was so sure that our feelings were mutual. I was so confident in the fact that Jace and i were meant to be. But what if i was wrong? What kind of man left me here in the hands of someone like my brother? How could he do that? How could Magnus leave me under his care. I had not seen Magnus since that fateful attempt at my life. It was as if everyone had disappeared. I was now more alone than i had ever been.

I dreaded another day. I dreaded when my son was to be born. I dreaded the very moment in time where i discovered who the father of my son was. Because if it was my brother who begat this seed inside me. I honestly didn't know how i could love it. It was a son born from rape and violence. How could i look into his eyes and feel love? Love for a child that was never meant to be?

On the other hand, what if it was Jace's. A man who had deserted me when i needed him the most. I valued that life more than the other. Jonathan would not see that it lived long outside of my womb. The son i wanted the most would be taken from me. I would have no choice. I would have to live the rest of my days longing for the son that was taken from me. I didn't think i could live like that.

Whatever happened between me and Jace, i couldn't forget the love i felt. The burning longing and the peace i felt when i was with him. Whether he was now dead, or far away gone, it would not change how i felt about him. Even though i had been deserted, i did not desert him. My heart simply would not allow it.


	30. Chapter 30

**Authors note: Sorry for the long wait. I've been busy with writing my own novel's as well as dealing with every day life. I hope to have more for you soon. Thanks for reading.**

* * *

 **Clary**

Behind the door, I could hear screams. Some of them echoed long and true. Screams of pure agony and terror. I huddled in the corner of the room with my hands over my ears. Please, let it stop. Please.

It continued.

I didn't know what was going on. Nobody came to my door; no one came to fetch me. I sat in my room and waited for the worst. Was Jonathan punishing people? Putting them to the sword? Was he massacring the townsfolk who acted disobediently? No one answered my questions.

The days turned to weeks, the weeks turned to months. I waited for something to happen, anything. Yet nothing ever did. I stayed locked away in the tower with only Jonathan and the occasional guard to keep me busy. I hated the visits from my brother. He never let me forget that my life was in his hands. Nor that the pregnancy was almost at it's end.

My belly was round and swollen. My son would be on his way soon enough. I dreaded the outcome of his birth. What face would leer up at me? Jonathan's or Jace's? I guess there was nothing to do but find out. It wouldn't be long before the contractions started and then only the Gods could know who was to be born.

The door rattled, shaking me from my thoughts. I awkwardly climbed to my feet. I walked towards the door when it was thrown open. A man stood there in dirty, grimy garb. In his hands he held a fine short sword of tempered steel. His eyes were dark and shadowed. A dead guard lay at his feet, leaking blood from a grievous wound.

"Please! Don't hurt me or my baby." I cried.

He stepped into the room with his hands turned up. "I'm here to free you, princess."

I couldn't believe my ears. This man, this dirty, disgruntled man was here to free me? Could it be true? Had the Gods heard my prayers at long last? My feet slid across the floor as I crossed the room. Blood covered the mans coat and pants.

"Is it true? Are you really here to help me?"

He nodded his head, "I am here by the Circle's command. The city has been under siege for the past week or so."

I remembered the angry outburst from Jonathan over the last few weeks. He never said the reason for his anger, yet he took it out on me. I heard nothing of this siege until now.

The man continued, "We managed to ram the outer postern gates and a battle is being fought in the courtyard. I managed to slip away to find you here, to rescue you."

I could have kissed him. Now all the screaming seemed to make sense. Morgenstern castle was being put to the sword, with this Circle in the lead. I never heard of such an establishment before. Were they rogue fighters or part of some hostile country? My questions would have to wait.

I grabbed my cloak off the embroidered chair, a chair where Jonathan took his pleasure more times than I could count, and never hesitated. I followed the unnamed man outside into the stairwell and we descended. I could still hear screams and cries of terror in the background. I blocked off the sounds and focused on putting one foot in front of the other. Only one thing remained in my mind.

I wanted to see my dear brother bleed.

* * *

 **Jace**

My hands were sticky with blood. Each step, each sword slash, brought me closer to my goal. My body wanted me to run and search each room until I found Clary. I wanted to find her and fight for the only reason worth living for. Yet, I had to follow orders.

They placed me in the vanguard. I was ordered to attack the postern gate with 2,000 men. Once inside, we were to kill or capture all of the castle's garrison. Once we held the courtyard, the rest of our men would come in to take the castle itself.

Everything went according to plan. The Morgenstern legacy once held over 10,000 loyal men. Now it was nothing but a faint shadow of it's former glory. Jonathan created his own disaster.

The courtyard before me was littered with fallen bodies and puddles of tacky blood. I stepped over the fallen and walked towards the castle's gates. A ram cracked into the hard wood by the force of the army. I found Tessa at the sidelines.

"Is he inside?" I asked.

Tessa's long hair flew in the wind. "He is. He resides inside with only 300 of his Kingsguard. An easy target."

"What about Clarissa?"

"Don't worry about the girl. She was imprisoned in a tower on the east side of the castle. I sent a man in after her through the east entrance. With any luck, she'll tucked away from all this chaos and destruction."

I nodded my head. Blonde hair fell into my eyes and blocked my vision. "What do we do now?"

Tessa looked at me. "Your job is simple. Once this ram breaks the gates, I will send my men in to kill the guards. Then it is up to you to slay Jonathan Morgenstern."

"I want to kill him more than you can imagine, but why me? I'm not trained nor skilled except for the little training you supplied for me over the months. Surely you have better men fighting for you?"

"I do, but they need to see you kill him in order to win them to your cause."

"What cause?"

Tessa's eyes flared. "Do you think these men will follow a gutter rat like you just because the princess loves you? She needs a King. A true and rightful King. These men will follow no less."

"Killing Morgenstern will make me that King?"

"Killing Morgenstern will make you a God."

I stepped back a step at the fierceness in her voice. "I will do it."

"Good, now stay back and wait. We are almost inside the gates."

I stepped even farther back and watched the soldiers beat down the gate. The giant castle door proved strong. Even so, deep cracks ran vertically down its surface. It would break any time now.

And break it did.

With a creak and a groan, the door gave in. In the chaos, the soldiers battled their way insides. Blood began to spill out into the grass from the castle's entrance. I waited for my cue to come before I entered. Jonathan Morgenstern was mine to deal with. I would have my revenge. For myself and for the girl I loved.

Except that something appeared to be wrong.

I could see a bright light coming from the open door. A man's shape came running out, his clothes washed in flames. He screamed a high pitched noise and fell into the dirt, unmoving. I sucked in a deep breath and lifted my sword, I then entered into the great hall.

It was on fire.

Fire ate at everything. Men lay burning on the floor, crying for help. The great hall tapestries were crumbled and black amongst the floor. I could find Tessa no where in the chaos. Some men still lingered, fighting against the Morgenstern Kingsguard. I watched as men died like flies in the melee of swords and maces. The body count for both sides climbed higher and higher.

Yet even in all this chaos, there was one sight that gave me strength.

Jonathan stood on the King's dais beside his throne. His face lit up with glee and mirth at the death and destruction around him. He smiled and laughed. I strode across the room and lifted my sword.

"Jonathan Morgenstern, I challenge you to fight me in single combat to the death. Do you decline?"

Jonathan drew a fine steel blade from his holster. "You expect me to run and cower from a peasant like you? Swing your blade true, Jace Wayland, for tonight . . . you die."

He ran at me with his sword high.


End file.
